| In The News |
| May 5th It appears from an article in The Observer that George W. Bush is �blocking an international drive to provide teenage sex education because of his belief in chastity before marriage�. I found this to be most interesting. Why would he wish to do this? To help me understand this better, I rang up leading psychologist and close personal friend of mine Hans Wiener in Stuttgart, and the conversation went something like this: Me: �Hello Hans� Hans: �Good morning� Me: �Errm, Hans, it�s 3 in the afternoon here� Hans: �Yes, but it is morning somevhere� Me: �But not in Stuttgart?� Hans: �No. But I thought it might be in Papa New Guinea� Me: �And why would I be in Papa New Guinea?� Hans: �I thought you might be looking for ze long lost Al-Gore ballot paper horde rumoured to be hidden zere. Ze sheer volume of paper is said to be quite priceless� Me: �Well I�m not, Hans. I called you about this article in the Observer about Bush� Hans: �Ah, jaa, I have read it. Most intervesting� Me: �Well what does it tell us about Bush?� Hans: �It tells us zat he did not �get much action� vhen he vas younger.� Me: �Why?� Hans: �Vell you have seen �is face! He looks like he has been put through a trouser press and left to dry on a radiator!� Me: �No, I meant why does it tell us this� Hans �Vell it is either zat or he is doing something spontaneous.� Me: �And why would he do that?� Hans: �To do something strange and memorable, in case he fails ze next erection� Me: �Surely you mean election?� Hans: �Jaa, he may vell fail zat to� Me: �Thank you hands and Good night� Hans: �Good day� |