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The first wisps of "peach fuzz" growing darker and coarser daily. Eventually purchasing that first razor and lathering up for that first shave. These important events in an adolescent male's life are replayed in the FROM. Likewise, the deepening of the voice and the increase in musculature bear a resemblance to the adolescent male's experience. With the changes, both MTF's and FTM's begin to have the desire to show off the new equipment. MTF's may buy thin blouses and lacy bras. FTM's may begin to grow beards. Just as adolescents desire to exhibit the significant characteristics of their sex. Of course, one cannot leave adolescence and hormones without mentioning sex. At this stage the transsexual begins to examine and maybe reexamine her sexual orientation. She may have had satisfying relationships with females in the past, but is she really a lesbian at heart? Thosetwinges of attraction she may have felt for males years ago, then stifled realizing she wasn't gay, but she wasn't exactly straight either, may begin to reappear. Physiology may begin to play a part at this point. I remember shortly after beginning hormone therapy seeing this man in a video store wearing shorts and a tank top. The outfit displayed well his rippling muscles. It was hot, so he had a thin film of perspiration which made those muscles shine. In addition, he was wearing a musky aftershave. For about 10 seconds I just wanted to walk over and start caressing those muscles. This reaction took me totally by surprise. I had always been attracted to men emotionally, but this was the first time that I felt a strong physical attraction to anybody--male or female. I personally believe the hormones linked with my awareness of the changes they were making in my body released in me my own sexuality. The problem at this stage for the transsexual is that while she may begin to feel the emergence of her sexuality, she isn't really in a position to express it in a classic heterosexual or even homosexual way. Her internal gender identity is still at odds with her genitals. This may cause tremendous distress or lead to experimentation with various types of sexual experience. If the latter is the case, attention should be given to the precautions which need to be taken to insure the safety of the client. This includes protection against sexually transmitted diseases, prudence in the selection of sexual partners, and developing a basic sense of safety in an unsafe world. This is especially true in the case of the MTF. She must be as careful as any genetic female in her dating practices. This may come as news to her since she has probably not been socialized to recognize vulnerability as a trait of her genetic gender. Men have a strong sense of invulnerability and safety from attack. It may be false bravado, but it is there. The MTF must learn some of the caution genetic females learn from childhood. In addition, the MTF if experimenting with heterosexual lifestyles may place herself at risk when the lover discovers that "she" is a "he" physically. Violence against transsexuals in general is not unknown. And such a revelation to certain men could trigger extremely explosive reactions. At this stage, the transsexual like a physical adolescent doesn't always considers the risks of certain activities. You may have to help guide the transsexual in developing an awareness of sexual safety issues. They may also put themselves emotionally at risk by entering into relationships unrealistically. There are some men who are sexually attracted to transsexuals. They often frequent gender group meetings looking for a "pick-up." The transsexual may misconstrue this individuals interest as "true love" when, in fact, the attraction may be purely sexual. It's the equivalent of the person who "hits on" a member of the opposite sex simply because of physical attraction. Like the teenager, the transsexual may romanticize this attraction unrealistically.
Young Adulthood
Eventually, the transsexual begins to develop her own style and unique way of presenting herself to the world. She develops a confidence in her abilities to pass effectively (although maybe not perfectly). She also recognizes that there is more to being a woman than wearing skirts and flirting with men. She begins todevelop a female persona with more depth. At this stage she may begin to seriously investigate or enter into the career world as a woman. Some serious career questions begin to appear as the rosy glow of experimentation with femininity fades into the steady light of day to day living. Let's look at a few of these questions.
"Should I stay with my current employer after transition?" Perhaps the first question to determine is will the person be able to remain with the current employer? There are few, if any, legal protections for transsexuals in the workplace. The transsexual may be fired upon disclosing her intent to make transition. This, however, is not as common as the horror stories would suggest. Supervisors at most large corporations and government agencies assume that legal protections prohibiting other forms of discrimination prohibits this as well. The fear of a sensational lawsuit even if settled in the company's favor often prevents overt discrimination. Of course, covert measures such as demotion, transfer to a less desirable assignment, verbal abuse, etc. may still continue. I think this is most true in the case of a Male-to-Female transsexual who works in a predominately male field. Another protection against overt firing is being valuable to the organization. In my case, I could teach English, Speech and Joumalism and had full classes which were extremely popular. So there was an incentive to keep me on. Assuming the transsexual could stay with the current employer through transition, she needs to decide if she wants to stay. It's not always that easy. Even with the support of management, the co-workers may be opposed to her staying. And even with no opposition from the co-workers the transsexual may feel awkward going back to work in the new role. So, the transsexual has to sort out her feelings in this regard. "If I don't stay how will I find another job?" The transsexual facing transition can easily catastrophize seeing job search as a transsexual as being completely futile. "Who would want to hire me?" "I don't have any experience under my new name.""I'd be starting out at the bottom of the barrel." These are common assumptions the transsexual has. You may have to challenge these assumptions and help the client examine the reality. |
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