Magnify that by about 1000 times and you have a faint idea of how the transsexual feels contemplating returning to work as a member of the opposite sex. There are a complex of feelings surrounding this awkwardness. The transsexual may have some unresolved guilt or shame connected with her transsexualism. There is the fear of reproach by former friends. She may worry about the co-workers' discomfort whose awkwardness may cause a resultant awkwardness in your client. These are concerns the client has to work through if she is to continue working with the same people. "I don't know if I can go through a job interview now." I applied for two part-time jobs while preparing for transition. I got both of them, but it was nervewracking nonetheless. You hope they don't read you. You try to avoid mentioning qualifications which might give away your former gender. For instance, if you were voted Man of the Year at your former employer you try to change that to Woman of the Year. You might have to try to reduce the anxiety by role playing an interview with them and practicing answers to awkward questions. YOu might even role play a situation in which the client is read so she will be prepared for that eventuality. "How do I make disclosure on the job?" The client isn't only asking for advice on handling the disclosure in terms of what words to say, but also how to handle the emotional stress connected with making such a disclosure. Role playing the situation and teaching ways to cope with anxiety will be major functions of the counselor. The job is one way many of us during our young adulthood define our lives. Another is committed relationships. This stage in the transsexual's development also finds the client considering the realistic possibilities of long-term relationships. This goes beyond the romantic ideals and sexual experimentation of adolescence. Instead, the person begins to wonder if she might get married someday or if her orientation is same-sex in nature if she will find a compatible life-mate in a homosexual relationship. But she also begins to understand the risks in developing such relationships. Disclosure to the person at some point is almost inevitable. What impact will that disclosure have on the relationship? If the person is still pre-op, there will be a serious impairment in their her ability to function in a satisfactory way sexually. Because of these limitations many avoid situations which might lead to long term commitment. However, research indicates that successful post-operative psychosocial adjustment is often postively correlated to the development of long term relationships. So, working through the question of relationship is an important task of this stage of development.
Maturity
Just as no one is ever completely mature, the transsexual likewise merely approaches this stage with varying degrees of success. This stage is marked by an easy confidence in the new gender role. The awkwardness of adolescence gives way to the grace ofexperience. The occupational questioning of young adulthood succumbs to a new level of vocational confidence. The transsexual at this stage has settled issues of sexual orientation and long term relationships. She rarely thinks about herself in terms of "transsexual." Rather she simply thinks of herself as a member of her new sex. In this stage she will feel comfortable defining herself by her own standards rather than by societal expectations or media illusions. She will have had enough time to build a unique personality that is truly feminine (or masculine) and yet still retain her true personality which transcends gender. If this sounds pretty theoretical, it is. How many genetic females (males) have reached this stage? The best that can be said is that we incorporate parts of this into our lives and we strive to incorporate more and more. The key feature of this stage is integration. Usually, the mature transsexual interacts with others as a woman without becoming self conscious or worrying about "passing." She simply lives her normal life just on the the other side of the gender line. The line you will hear from a lot of transsexuals is, "I just want to be normal." This refers to the transsexuals desire for integration. Yet, integration is hard. It takes a certain level of courage to join a club, go to church, interview for a job, make business contacts as a member of the opposite sex. It takes a level of maturity.
Synthesis
A perfectly mature person would be awfully boring. True maturity really incorporates all of the previous stages of development and keeps them in balance. The spontaneity and sense of wonder that the child has no adult should ever lose. The courage and energy of adolescence keeps you going when your rational self would quit. The young adult's ambition and desire for companionship helps you preserve those things which are important for life. The confidence of mature adulthood holds the rest of these in balance. In working with a transsexual remember your goal is not for them to toss away previous stages of development, but rather to incorporate what was best from each stage so that the client grows up to be the wonderfully complete person that she can become.
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