For Punjabis, weddings are the biggest excuse for merriment � a new couple, innumerable new relationships, new beginnings, enjoyable traditions and solemn ceremonies together bring a special quality to every wedding celebration and become cherished memories in years to come. The union is seen not just as a new beginning for two people but the uniting of two families. The bride and groom are never left alone or expected to do any work and everything is gladly taken care of by happy relatives and friends. The grandest of weddings seem to be intimate gatherings as every emotion is shared by the entire community; hence, it involves the participation of every guest.
Here is a �Punjabi Wedding for Dummies� guide that will give you a quick synopsis of the wedding that you will witness. Since there are no rehearsals, we trust and hope that you would enjoy every moment as it comes.
Friday, March 09, 2007, Evening
Mehendi-ki-Raat: The Application of Henna � A Lighthearted Affair
Originally a women-only function, today, the celebrations are open even to the men. The guests are family and close friends and the evening�s activities are lighthearted with no religious connotation.
Professional henna artists called Mehendiwallis are specifically called in to create intricate designs that adorn the palms and feet of the bride and other female guests. Application of the bride�s intricately designed mehendi can take up several hours. The henna dries and leaves a deep orange color on the skin. A lot of fun and games are typical of the Mehendi-ki-raat � e.g. the bridegroom is expected to find his name in the intricate patterns on the bride�s palm.
The Ladies Sangeet is usually held on the same evening as the Mehendi-ki-raat. Like most other Punjabi celebrations, it typically comprise of �gaana, bajaana, khanna, peena� (singing, dancing, eating, drinking!). There is no audience as everyone participates in the teasing banter of traditional wedding songs and dances. High energy, laughter and loud music predominate. Family and friends sing to the catchy beat of the dholak (small drum) making sure several songs are sung to tease the bride's mother-in-law and other members of the groom's family!
Saturday, March 10, 2007, Morning
Bride�s Chunni & Haldi-Uptan: Dressing up and Blessing of the Bride
On the occasion of the bride�s chunni (veil) ceremony, the groom�s mother, sister and other close female friends and relatives visit the bride's home with the wedding platter, a gift from the groom�s mother. This platter is decorated in red and gold (both considered to be auspicious colors for weddings) and contains mehendi (henna), jewelry, a nariyal (fresh or dried coconut), red churis (glass bangles), red sindoor (vermilion powder) and a red chunni (veil). All of these items are given to the bride-to-be as symbols of marriage. The groom�s mother usually adorns the bride-to-be with the red chunni (veil). This ritual is usually combined with the Haldi ceremony.
The Haldi-Uptan (turmeric) ceremony is like an �in-home� beauty treatment or facial or a pre-nuptial beauty treatment. One day before the actual wedding, a paste made from turmeric, sandalwood and rose water is applied to the face, hands and feet of the bride. Turmeric purifies rose water perfumes while sandalwood cools the skin and the emotions. This ceremony makes the bride look more beautiful for her wedding day. In traditional marriages, after this ritual, the bride is barred from leaving the house until after the wedding ceremony. She must remain indoors and is not allowed to meet the groom till the wedding ceremony.
Saturday, March 10 2007, Evening
Churaa Chadana: The Blessing of the Bridal Bangles
According to typical Hindu wedding tradition, various members of the bride�s clan �aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, all have specific roles to play; this one involves the bride�s maternal uncle and his wife. Only the bride's family celebrates this ritual.
A puja (prayer) is performed by the pandit (priest) and a red mauli (sacred thread) is tied on to the bride�s wrist. The bride's maternal uncle and aunt gift her with the churaa (a set of red and ivory wedding bangles worn only by a bride), and bichhiya (toe-rings). The churaa is passed around for everyone present to bless. It is said to bring good luck to the bride in her new home. The aunt then soaks the churaa in milk and adorns her arms and wrists with. Single girls surround the bride and drape a red chunni over her head and everyone else showers her with fresh flower petals. The bride�s sisters and female friends and cousins tie Kaleeras (special decorative tassels made of gold/silver foil). It is said that the bride has as many friends as there are leaves in the Kaleera. So the more leaves the merrier. Kaleeras are fabled to work like the wedding bouquet. Single girls blessed by the bride�s Kaleeras are believed to be next in line for marriage.
A kangna (a symbolic bracelet) is tied to her right wrists. The kangna is made of a mauli (sacred thread) and tied to it are haldi (turmeric) sticks, supari (betel nut) and kaudis (shells). The groom also has a kangna tied to his wrist, with as many knots as possible. The bracelet is tied with as many knots as possible so as to make it difficult to untie later!
Sunday, March 11 2007, Morning
Groom�s Sehra Bandhi and Baraat: Tying the traditional headdress on the groom
After the groom is dressed in his wedding clothes, the pandit (priest) conducts a short prayer ceremony. The groom�s father ties the sehra (headdress) on the groom�s head. In traditional weddings, a pagree (turban) is also tied onto the groom�s head after it has been passed around to everyone present, and blessed with their touch. The turban is tied by the groom�s sister who also blesses her brother by gifting him with a nariyal (fresh or dried coconut), and a red or pink angavastra (a scarf tied around the shoulders), which is used during the wedding ceremony. Sometimes, only the angavastra is presented. The groom and his baraat (marriage procession) are now ready to leave for the bride�s home where they are welcomed by the bride�s family with flower garlands and sprinkles of rose water. The groom is welcomed by the bride's mother with an arti, the traditional Indian welcome ritual with a diya (oil lamp) on a thaali (platter).
Jaimala: Exchange of the Wedding Garlands
After the bride's mother has performed the arti (welcome) for her new son-in-law, the bride is escorted to the threshold to welcome her beau in the traditional manner by garlanding him. The groom in turn garlands his bride. This is referred to as the jaimala (exchange of garlands) and it marks the beginning of the wedding ceremonies.
Shaadi: The Wedding
A muhurat (auspicious time) is chosen for performing the wedding ceremony by a pandit (priest). It is usually based on the positioning of the stars and is determined astrologically. As the time of muhurat approaches, the priest first performs a puja ceremony with the groom by leading him in reciting mantras (Sanskrit quotes from historic Vedic texts, usually repeated word for word).
It is during this time that the bride�s sisters and girl friends hide the groom�s shoes (juta chhupai). This is one of the fun traditions in Punjabi weddings, and the groom�s shoes are returned after the wedding ceremony, in exchange for a fee. Sometimes, the groom may present his new sister-in-law with a kaleechari (a dress ring usually made of a precious metal) in exchange for his shoes.
The Vedic ceremony begins with the arrival of the bride at the mandap (Indian version of an altar; a flower covered pergola) and the Vedic ceremony begins. The first ritual is called madhuperk. The groom receives holy water in his folded right hand, three times. The first time he sprinkles it on his feet, the second time he sprinkles it all over himself and the third time he drinks the water. Madhuperk (food of the Gods) is a mixture of yogurt, ghee (clarified butter) and honey. He sprinkles a little bit of it in all directions and then eats it. This is also repeated three times.
The priest now performs a ceremony with the couple and the bride�s parents. The bride is given away by her father in a ceremony called the kanyadaan. The bride�s father places an angoothee (the wedding ring) on the groom�s finger before giving away his daughter -symbolized by placing his daughter's hand in that of the groom.
Next, to invoke the blessings of Agni (The God of Fire), the priest lights a havan (sacred fire) to the chanting of Vedic mantras and praying to the divyashaktis (all divine powers). Fire forms an integral part of all Hindu customs and rituals, as it symbolizes purity and also acts as a witness to the wedding (agnisakshi). The priest leads the couple in the taking of the vows which are consecrated by taking pheras (circles around the sacred fire).
2. The bride�s mother places her daughter�s right foot on a shilaah (stone) � a symbol of permanence and strength. The groom chants the next mantra which symbolizes his bride�s position of permanence in his home and the promise that they will face all of life�s challenges like two solid rocks.
3. Laja (puffed rice) is a symbol of prosperity. The bride�s brother assists in the taking of this vow. The bride places her hands in the groom�s and her brother places puffed rice into their joined hands. Together they offer rice as an aahuti (sacrifice) to the sacred fire to the chanting of Vedic mantras by the priest. This ritual is performed three times and each time the mantras chanted have a different meaning.
4. The couple now goes around the sacred fire four times. Each round symbolizes the strengthening of the bond between them. The first three times, the bride must lead the groom, as she is considered the embodiment of Lakshmi (The Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity). It is only after the fourth round that she becomes his ardhangani (wife). The priest ties the end of the bride�s sari to the groom�s angavastra (the red or pink scarf given to him by his sister), with three knots, as a symbol of their union. The bride and groom now take seven steps together; each step has its own significance.
5. The seven steps are followed by another circle around the sacred fire � which they take together, with neither the groom nor the bride leading. Older members of the groom�s family sprinkle water on the couple while the priest chants four mantras to invoke the blessings of all the deities in the couple.
6. The next vow is called the Hriday Sparsh (touching of the hearts) mantra. The bride and groom place one hand on each other's hearts and chant together in Sanskrit, after the priest �You will be in my heart, from this day forward; I will be loyal to you; We are meant to be together; Let us ask the Almighty for his blessings together.'
7. Finally, the groom applies sindoor (vermilion powder) in the center parting of the bride's hair and ties the mangalsutra (wedding necklace) around her neck. Sindoor is the sign of a married Hindu woman.
8. The bride and groom feed each other something sweet and both chant another mantra (vow) that symbolizes their commitment to each other. It is not only the wife's duty to ensure that her husband is fed; it is his duty, in turn, to ensure that she is protected and taken care of.
9. The newlyweds are now asked to look in the direction of the North Star (dhruvnakshatra) amidst the chanting of mantras. The permanence of the North Star�s position in the night sky symbolizes the permanence of the bond between husband and wife and it symbolizes the promise made between the bride and groom 'I will live with you, forever'.
10. This last vow invokes the blessing of the Arundhati & Vashisht Nakshatras (stars); Arundhati was the wife to the Sage Vashisht. These are two stars in the night sky that are so close together that they appear as one at all times. This vow symbolizes the complete union between husband and wife.
At the end of the ceremony, the newly wedded couple touches the feet of the groom's parents and other elders present to take their blessings. Everyone present showers flower petals on the couple.
Vidaai: The Bridal Send off
Before the bride leaves for her marital home, she takes laja (puffed rice), a sign of prosperity in both her hands and showers it on her family over the top of her head, as she walks out the door. This ritual symbolizes the repaying of all her debts to her parents for having looked after her all these years.
The bride and groom untie each other's bracelets in the presence of all the relatives. There is a lot of teasing and fun and frolic at this time. The bride is introduced to her husband's family in what is called a Mooh Dikhai ki Rasm. Literally translated this means the 'showing of the bride face� to the groom's family members, but in reality it is simply a form of introduction.
Sunday, March 11th 2007, Evening
The Wedding Reception
A wedding reception is a concept borrowed from the West and is now an integral part of Indian weddings. The parents of the bride host a dinner and invite friends and family to introduce the newly weds to the rest of the community.