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Characters
Jerri Blank
Jeraldine Antonia Blank is a 47-year old, ex-con, ex-prostitute, "free love" high school student. She is picking up life where she left off 32 years prior when she dropped out of high school and ran away from home. Jerri's life is quite ambiguous. Some hold her responsible for the introduction of drugs into popular culture; others blame her for the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. Jerri's checkered past often manifests itself in the everyday grind of her new high school world and is the major driving force of many of the plot lines that emerge in each episode. Jerri may have fallen off the wagon but then again she might of attacked it because shortly after her dad died, she learned she was adopted and was a full blooded Indian (which explains her love for gambling and booze!).
Mr. Jellineck
Geoffrey Jellineck -- single parent, art teacher, and Mr. Noblet's lover -- is a man prone to self-expression. Never afraid to encourage a student to "paint their own mural," Jellineck is an inspirational teacher with sickeningly good hair and a penchant for extravagance who prefers to blur the lines between student and faculty. Mr. Jellineck is also an artist who lives outside the boundaries that society has constructed and is not ashamed to say so. A terribly sensitive man, he has been known to throw parties at his home for his students, and sit weeping in a corner when they don't show up.
Principal Blackman
Throughout our history, there have been many important black Americans; George Washington Carver, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Paul Robeson. Principal Blackman is another such man in this proud and noble lineage. With the booming voice and proud carriage of James Earl Jones, Principal Blackman has risen to the challenge of harnessing the unruly moral elements that threaten to tear down the fragile empire he has built at Flatpoint High School. Blackman governs his kingdom with an iron fist and a system of logic that would mystify even the most learned psychoanalyst. Strengthening not only his fertile mind, but the body as well, Principal Blackman takes, and prescribes, huge amounts of vitamin supplements every day, keeping the teeth translucent and completing the amino chain. A self-made man, who has pulled himself up in the world by his bootstraps, Blackman is never to far from the memories of being raised in the chicken coop. This fact would coincide with the idea that his totalitarian leadership of Flatpoint High leaves no extra time for any semblance of a personal life.
Mr. Noblet
Chuck Noblet, single father and social studies/creative writing/homeroom teacher, is also Principal Blackman's number one fan and Mr. Jellineck's secret lover. Noblet is an eager and ambitious soldier in Blackman's regime and a faithful guard of Flatpoint High's strict moral standards. He eagerly takes orders and would defend his principal to the death, however, he sees himself fundamentally as a benign and gentle force, coercing and encouraging the students to bend to his will for their own good. Mr. Noblet often utilizes the services of Jerri Blank to carry out Principal Blackman's morally ambiguous schemes, feeling that Jerri past indiscretions qualify her for such duties.
Coach Wolf
Cherri Wolf is a prominent female figure of Flatpoint high. She is a big part of the school. She is coach of many athletic teams, and the health teacher. She and Jerri don't always see eye to eye but they can always rely on each other for support. Coach Wolf doesn't date much and even though she seems to be a lesbian, she secretly has an attraction to men who don't speak English.
Iris Puffybush
Dr. Iris Puffybush is Principal Blackman's secretary. She doesn't really speak much but she does a lot of work. Any time the school needs an extra hand, she will be there. She also has a part time job as a nurse.
Guy Blank
Guy Blank and his wife adopted Jerri. Shortly after Jerri ran away, Guy's wife died. Some say of a broken heart, but most agree that the bus was mostly to blame. Guy Blank remarried to Sara 16 years after Jerri left home and had a son, Derrick. Guy was a virgin until he married Sara. He was probably the most active catatonic senior citizen in the world. Guy played golf and was a member of the KKK. Guy was killed by pack of rabid dog's right before he was susppose to do a sack race.
Sara Blank
Sara married Gut Blank and had one son Derrick. It was a surprise to her to find out Guy had a daughter who decided to live with them. Sara did not like Jerri and treated her horrible hoping Jerri would decide to leave. Sara began to have a relationship with the meat man, Stew, right before Guy was killed. She and Stew have become serious despite that he is married and has two kids. Sara and Jerri have bonded a little and Sara might even cry if Jerri was to die, of course it would be because of the cost of the funeral.
Derrick Blank
Derrick is the favorite of the two Blank kids. He was treated well when Guy was alive and now he is treated even better. He and his sister always fight and according to his mom he is always right. He is captain of the football and the Swat team. Jerri is convinced that he is as queer as they come and she might just be right.
Stew, the meat man
Stew provided the Blank family with high quality meat before he started dating Sara. He is married and has two kids but Sara doesn't seem to mind. He has recently gone crazy, lost his job, and became the new father figure of the Blank family.
Orlando Pinatubo
When Jerri Blank went back to High School, Orlando Pinatubo was the only person who became her friend. He is very nice to her despite that the fact that Jerri looks down on him because the color of his skin. He belongs to a militant religion and has interesting customs. No one is quite sure just what Orlando is. Some think he is Latino while others think he comes from the Far East.
Tami Littlenut
Tammi is the only girl at Flatpoint who would consider Jerri Blank as a possible friend. Their fake friendship started when they were assigned to share a baby for health class. Jerri got too involved in the role and tried to sleep with Tammi. Despite that event, they became fake friends. Tammi always defends Jerri but Jerri calls her names like Tammila and copperhead. Jerri just pretends she likes Tammi. Tammi is currently dating the science teacher, Mr. Gwinette.
Jimmy Tickles
Jimmy was always a little on the queer side. He was attracted to Jerri and on their first date he lost his virginity to her. From then on he has been very, very gay (and I don't mean happy)!