My Life.

This is my life. To view earlier entries, click here.

Sunday, August 20, 2000
Well, I just started a whole journal entry on the last page but no, it's already full and won't let me add any more, so here's my newest page. I'm going to have to start a separate site just for journal entries at this rate. Anyway, I haven't written for awhile because I've been gone... I spent a week and a half with Jessie, first at her house up north (we watched a bunch of movies, most of which I have to add to my Movies page because I really liked all of them, and then at her family's 100-year-old cottage in Maine. This was the third year I've gone there with her, and it's totally awesome. I love how old the cottage is, how nice it is, it's wooden and lived-in, it's so much nicer than new summer houses that are all modern and icky. Jessie's house is across from the ocean and really private and peaceful, so it's really nice, the best place in the world, I swear.
When I got back my cousin Ryan, who's 12, was here, and he's very cute and we had fun together. He's very cute and fairly mature, much more mature than he was last time I saw him a year or two ago. Volleyball practice started, too, so I've been busy. I had to get up early both days of this weekend, Saturday at 5:55 to bring Ryan to the airport and this morning at 7:00 because Pascal came in and was here for the day. We had fun hanging out today, though, so it was worth it, only now he's gone and who knows when I'll see him again... probably not for a year or two, which is sad. But oh, well, we've both been pretty good about keeping in touch, so. School starts a week from next Tuesday, and I'm pretty ready... this is going to be my last year in high school, since I'm going to spend my senior year living in France, and it's kind of weird to adjust to this being the end of everything, since I've been at the same school since I was in kindergarten when I was five years old. My school has a lot of faults and gets on my nerves a lot, so for the most part I'm glad to leave, but when I talk to people who've gone to public schools, I know that I've gotten a lot out of my school, so I try not to be bitter. Not that I need to providing closure to my 12 years at this school yet, since I have another year to go and I imagine that it'll be a long one with the classes I'm taking.
Yesterday would have been Vanilla's 13th birthday if he hadn't died in June. I didn't really know what to do to honour him; I wanted to talk to my mom about it but she hasn't gotten over the fact that he's dead yet, so I didn't want to bring up his birthday and upset her, even though I'm sure she remembered the significance of the date. I wanted to do something in his memory, but I didn't have any ideas, so I just kind of sat around thinking about him for awhile. It's sad that he's gone- you know, my childhood dog, the metaphorical end of a chapter, and plus he was just a really adorable, sweet dog that was nice to have around.
I've been working really hard, conditioning at home and working my ass off in practice, trying to make the varsity volleyball team, and we find out at our next practice (on Wednesday) whether we made the team or not- I really hope I did, this is my last chance and I would love to have that coach for a season, because she's a really good coach and the JV coaches tend to suck. So I'm kind of worried about that. And I fought with my parents last night, which always bothers me. But I've been spending lots and lots of time with Ben, and we're really close and we have a totally awesome relationship, and that really makes me happy. I haven't been able to catch up with all my friends since I've been back- they're busy or I am or we just miss each other, and I feel bad about that, because I love all of them. But it will all happen soon... if not before, then definitely when school starts. Anyway, I think that's pretty much all that's been going on in my life... I'll write again in a few days or a week or something like that.

Tuesday, August 29, 2000
Well, school started today. I was totally not looking forward to it, because this summer has been so awesome that I really didn't want anything to change, and plus I really didn't feel like having obligations and homework and stress. Although I tend to be good at dealing with stress. It was only a half day of school, though, and we didn't have class. It was nice to see all those people again, and I met some cool new people too. I'm not especially fond of my temporary advisor, and can't wait until the two week period is up and I can go back to the advisor I had last year, Jamie, whom I love. The rest of the day was good, though. I found out that my favorite teacher is going to be one of the chaperones on the awesome end of year trip to France that our French class is taking, so I'm excited about that. Plus, they divided the juniors and seniors into a few groups and each group is going to go camping for a night in a couple weeks. I like my group and my chaperones, and it seems like it's really going to be a good time. We had a volleyball game in the afternoon- I made varsity, so I'm wicked excited about the whole season. We lost but we played it out til the full five games and we also played really well, it was really close and it was basically bad luck and some iffy calls that made us lose, which is disappointing but bodes well for the rest of the season, since this was only our first game and we already are playing well.
Things have been going well in general. I had a really nice, relaxing weekend- a good way to end the summer. I spent Saturday hanging out with my friend Marya for hours- it was her birthday, we had lots of fun together. Then I talked to Ben for hours and hours, which was really nice. I also slept a lot. It was just really nice and peaceful and made me feel a little better about being forced to go back to school. I'm still glad that this is my last year, though. I don't think I'd be able to handle more than one more year of American high school. Anyway, I think that's pretty much all that's been going on. Ben and I are closer than ever and it's really nice. I'm doing well, not too sure how this school year is going to go yet, but things look like they might turn out well, so I'm happy. I'll write more sometime soon.

Friday, September 29, 2000
Okay, so I haven't written or updated or anything in absolutely forever. Not for exactly a month, it would seem. I've just been busy with stuff. I've had school- the usual homework, projects, papers. It's been going pretty well so far- better than I thought it would before it started. In the past I've almost looked forward to having school start and then discovered that I didn't like it nearly as much as I'd hoped I would. But this year I really didn't want it to start at all and now I'm discovering that I can totally handle it. And I've spent hours of time on Ben, which is good. We're all bonded and stuff and it's great. And he's introduced me to all this totally cool music- mostly punk, but some stuff from the 80's also. And that's been great and I love talking to Ben. And I've also been busy with volleyball, which has been kind of mixed. I'm on the varsity team, which rocks, and I've been improving a lot, but I think I do well in practice and in game warm-ups, but then I only get to play for half of one game, no matter whether we play three games or five. Even one day when I had a really, really awesome game and just did everything right, we played four or five games and I only played in half of one. It's kind of starting to bother me but I don't really know what to do about it. I think I might talk to the coach soon. Because I really don't understand her logic. Like today we had a game. The first game, I didn't play, and we got totally killed, we lost 15-1. The second game I did play in and we played much better and lost 15-10 or something like that. And then my coach was like, "I really want to win this game, so I'm going to put in the same lineup that lost the first game really badly, because I'm stupid and illogical," (minus that last part). And amazingly enough, they got their asses kicked and lost 15-1 again. And I don't understand why I didn't get to play more! I just don't get it. I put all the effort in that I can and I think I'm doing well. And every time she tells us to go out there with a certain mindset, I'll notice that I already had that mindset. And this is my last year in high school. And yet all I am is basically a benchwarmer, and it sucks and I hate it. But other than that, things have been going well. I've been working and babysitting a lot, which is good because I've been making payments on my car. Things are good and I've been pretty happy. And I guess that's basically all that's been going on, so I'm going to stop writing now.