My Life.

These are journal entries that basically describe what's happening in my life. To view earlier entries, click here.


Sunday, July 23, 2000
Well, a lot of stuff has happened since I last wrote. I wrote a whole journal entry before I left for the beach, but the pagebuilding program that Yahoo provides fucked up somehow and deleted the whole journal page, so I had to press Don't Save in order to rescue entries that I had already written, and in the process the newest one was lost. Then I left for the beach (that was July 8) and only got back a couple days ago.
We spent a week at the beach and it was really good. I'd been really depressed about my dog and about the fact that he was cremated, and I was also suffering from withdrawal from camp- I'd gone from seeing all my friends daily to talking to them on IM occasionally. But going to the beach helped me relax and get over it. We didn't do anything stressful... just hung out, swam, lay on the sand, played cards, read, etc. It was really soothing and I caught up on all my sleep, sleeping til noon or one every day. After that week, my dad came up to the beach with my friend from France, Pascal. (To learn more about him, see my 'Friends' page... heh.) Our whole family drove to New York City, where we spent three days. It was fun... we did all the touristy stuff that I've never done, like the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island and the Empire State Building. We also did some shopping... they have really cool stores in NYC. It's not fair. I'm sick of living in a little place like North Carolina. But anyway, they also have really good restaurants in New York... you can just walk into some cheap hole in the wall and get really good food. We went to a Jewish deli, too, which was cool. (I'm half Jewish, so my mom thought it was an experience I should have.)
Then we went to Washington, D.C. That was also fun, but it was different. My sister wasn't there because she was spending time with college friends in Pennsylvania. Also, my dad and Pascal really like museums and history and stuff, and my mom and I don't. So my dad and Pascal did a lot of that stuff while my mom and I shopped. The problem is that while I like to shop, I'm not quite as keen on it as my mother is. (This could result from the fact that my mother has way more money than I do.) So she was quite happy to be wandering around the city all day, buying and trying on clothes, while I would be exhausted a couple hours into it. And I didn't get to spend as much time with Pascal because he was always off with my dad. So the part of the trip where we were in New York was definitely more fun, but the whole trip was good.
We just got back on Friday night and I had more than 50 emails waiting for me, most of which I still haven't responded to. I haven't called any of my friends yet, either. Pascal was here for one more day, so we spent Saturday swimming, bowling, playing Monopoly, and watching The Wizard of Oz; I brought him to the airport to catch his plane in the early evening. I love having a license! Then today my sister and I cleaned the house and I started catching up on some of my email. And I also stayed up until two o'clock in the morning bonding with my friend Ben. (I think he's on my friend page- if he isn't, he deserves it.) We had a really open talk and cleared up a lot of issues that had been on my mind for awhile and I think on his mind too. It was really great and I love him to death. And I'm sure everyone reading this is glad to be hearing all about my friendship with Ben, so I'll stop talking about it.
Well, I think that's all that's been going on recently. Basically just that big trip that was really great because it helped me clear my head. I miss all my friends and I will try to get in touch with all of them soon. I'm home for the next couple of weeks so I have more time to relax. This has been a really good summer so far, except for my dog dying... and I guess nothing is perfect. Such is life.


Sunday, July 30, 2000
Well, Sunday appears to be my day for writing in my journal. This whole week has been really good. I've been working a lot, which is good because I haven't put a payment on my car for quite awhile. I put quite a lot of money on it in March, but after that we went to Paris for spring break and I needed cash for that. Then I went on a succession of trips, one with school, one to camp, and the one I just came back from, all of which I needed spending money for. Now that I've been working for the past two weeks, I can use one paycheck to cover basic school supplies and also my trip to Maine and put the other on my car. I'm very pleased about this, so I'm actually glad to be working, even though it can become rather tedious sometimes.
I've been spending a lot of time this week talking to Ben some more. We've really become close and it's great. We talk about everything and really understand each other well. We have a tendency to think the same way about everything and it's a really nice feeling. It really makes me feel understood. The inevitable drifting away of camp friends has begun- I'll see them come online but not message them for whatever reason. Every time this happens, we just become a little more distant, each living our own lives. Even a friend of mine who lives three minutes away hasn't been talking to me as much. I message him online occasionally, but tend to get the impression that he's busy or uninterested, so I've stopped messaging him, and he hardly ever messages me first, so I don't know what's going to happen with him. It would kind of suck if we never even saw each other again, since we live so close, but... well, if you don't both want to be friends, there's nothing you can do about it and I guess you just have to move on. I spent about an hour this evening making a collage on my wall. When we moved into my house, I made an attempt to tack some posters onto this section of my wall that apparently has some type of metal or something behind it, but it was so hard that I couldn't get a tack into it and gave up. I have since switched to hanging my posters, etc. up with tape, but I didn't even think about putting stuff on that section of wall. I guess my mind is too set. I got this impression in my mind of not being able to hang posters on that wall, and after that, when considering where to hang whatever new item I have for my walls, my mind would not even look at that empty section as a possiblity. But today, after almost three years, I finally noticed its availability and proceeded to create a collage of cool pictures and stuff I've found. Now my walls are totally full and I love it. When we moved into this house when I was thirteen, I wanted to paint my walls light purple, but my mom told me we would do it later. Now they're covered with posters and I have stuff all over my floor and against my wall which I am too lazy to move. You can hardly see the ugly beige paint anymore, so it seems like a waste to spend hours taking down all my posters, moving all my furniture, painting my room, then putting everything back, since I would hardly be able to see the new color at all. So I guess I'll just keep it. But next time I get a new bedroom (which will probably not be until I get an apartment my junior or senior year of college), I'm painting it purple!
Anyway, I guess that's pretty much all that's going on in my life. Making friends, losing friends, relaxing, working, enjoying summer... I'll write more next time something note-worthy happens.