Having heard the entire conversation, O'Brien popped up from behind the transporter console he had been trying desperately to repair. Some nimrod had spilled their coffee all over the damn thing causing it to spark and spit. He swore he'd kill the idiot who did it.
Curiousity getting the better of him, "What came out, Julian?"
Taking a deep breath, "Mary Sue!"
There was a collective gasp. Kira whipped out her phaser rifle. Jadzia began cursing in Klingon and grabbed the Bat'leth hiding under her console. O'Brien rumaged through his toolkit, grabbing the whiskey bottle he carried for these kinds of emergencies. Lifting the bottle to his lips, "God save the Queen," he muttered before taking a hefty swallow. Worf clutched his chest and fainted. Sisko hid behind one of the consoles whimpering to himself. Various crewmen grabbed their phasers and vaporized themselves.
~*~*~*~*~
Sitting at her computer desk, Mary Sue sighed. She had absolutely no life whatsoever. Her husband was away on business and their two year old was visiting his grandparents. All she ever did was clean the house, do the dishes when needed and wash the laundry. When time permitted she'd be upstairs in her office writing fanfic.
Mary Sue was in the middle of writing another one of her infamous silly fanfic stories, when out of no where, she got sucked into a vortex. The ride was so quick she had no idea what had happened until she heard someone scream out her name along with a few colorful curses. Following the sounds, she made her way out of the swirling hole she was in.
The first thing she saw where Bajorans. Thinking she had lost it, she closed her eyes, counted to ten then reopened them. Nope. Still there, she thought to herself. Looking around her she saw everyone yelling and running away from her general direction. She looked down at herself, wondering why everyone was acting that way. She wasn't ugly, she didn't smell, and she didn't remember saying or doing anything to elicit such responses to herself.
Deciding to make the best of it, she began to wonder around the station, ignoring the outcries of the various personnel.
~*~*~*~
Having finally caught his breath, Julian walked over to Kira, "Major, what are we going to do?"
Cocking her rifle, like the bad ass she thinks she is, "Dax and I are going to go down there and kill us a Mary Sue. You my dear Doctor, are going to stay here and calm these wussies down," she replied indicating towards said wussies.
Part 2
Part 4