Next Generation Software.
See that? NEXT GENERATION software. Not 'New' software, oh no. 'Next Generation'. A bit like- You?...no no no- Your Kids. Basically you have no business using the software, at best you'll be some old guy - or chick- let's not be sexist[1]- sitting in front of an incomprehensible vision of newness while your rheumy eyes well up with tears of frustration and your arthritic hands shake themselves apart in indecision and despair.
Your cat might even have a heart attack from sympathy, with a little outstretched paw frozen forever in a tableau of feline pathos. God that was depressing. Yes, isn't it? That's you and your cat that is.
'Hey guys which groovy software are you going with over at MPC?' might ring out the casually curious conversation opener in the bars of Soho. The reply might be along the lines of 'Well I'm really into the animation system in INXS[2] but we've been using version 3.b of Mire and they're so far ahead that really there is only one piece of software'. And everyone kids themselves that it's really a matter of personal choice and they'll simply transfer their skills over to which ever program [3] is put in front of them. Because their skills aren't tied up in the tools of their trade. See? They utilise their skill through the software not vice versa. You see computers and software to the artist or animator (or programmer- bless their sociopathic hearts!) are like a pencil. Nothing more. Just a big, incredibly powerful pencil that does almost all of their work for them and basically needs a slight nudge- maybe with an accidental placing of a coffee mug.
I mean - come on. When was the last time you really did anything? How many times have you got in in the morning and checked out last night's render before you've taken your jacket off? And see that look of disappointment when it looks like shit? Or the childlike awe when it turns out well and you get your colleagues in to see your great work? Admit it- you didn't have a flying fuck of a clue what it was going to turn out like. You basically pressed a few buttons, put your coffee mug down and waited to see what happened. Press a few buttons, elbow slip and it's 'Not Today!' from the Magic 8 Ball. And you don't feel good do you? It's unfair, the computer made your work bad and now you're going to have to adjust your piece for your crappy tools. Bad computer.
Maybe you're right. It's all politics- isn't everything- and companies aren't just making software, they're making you. Some overworked product managers are dealing with the whims of people who can barely blink symmetrically and the artist using the end product uses what he's given and tailors what he wants to do to what the software lets him do.That defines him in his work capacity - maybe even as a human being [4]- so despite you thinking you're using tools to get the desired result really you're effectively pushing a small box around a small unimaginative maze. Made out of cardboard and sellotape. What does this mean? It means, cuz, that you're a a faceless robot existing only to fill the fat cats' pockets. Like a human bank. Maybe like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. Me- not you. You can be the greasy traitor guy. Or the muppet kid, Ratty- or whatever his name was.
What can you do about this? I tell you: Rebel. Now, storm round to the software development or sales office of your chosen package, for instance Softimage at Pinewood or Montreal, and kill them. No, don't kill them you- that was a joke. Just say to them 'Look I've had enough of this malarkey. I'm going to sit here until you give me the flexibility that I need to show me up as the truly talentless artist that I am!'. If only a few of you did this (I'm on holiday unfortunately) which is basically tantamount to a hunger strike suicide mission then I'm pretty sure it would have some kind of effect. Go on- make a difference.
Disclaimer: This advice is in no way related to previous alleged attempts to lower the working animator population for personal gain.
[1] Yeah I've used that before...so?
[2] If the made up name was to represent an actual company- and you made a kind of link- then this comment would be patently absurd.
[3] 'Who you calling 'Program', Program?' from what film for a free drink on me. [5]
[4] No, sorry that was stupid. I don't know why I said that.
[5] A cheap one.
Last month's tutorial: Animators' Exercises