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| Poo-Poo's Stinky List | |||||||||||||||||||
| A Disclaimer! PooPoo's opinions of perfumes that stink are only opinion! She is only a skunk after all. PooPoo is not a perfumer, or a nose, and honestly, her tastes in perfume are not terribly sophisticated as she is just a little skunk. So please do not be mad at PooPoo if she disses your favorite perfume. Instead, leave the reasons why you love the perfume PooPoo dissed on the Guestbook! |
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| BEAUTIFUL by ESTEE LAUDER. Cloying, strong,bubble-gummy, and sweet, Beautiful is not a perfume that men like. Ironically, the ads suggest that it be worn on one's wedding day. Beautiful lingers, and lingers, then it lingers some more. Poo-Poo wishes that it would not wane so long as it causes her and others a headache and its sweetness quickly becomes cloying. Nearly impossible to wash off, even with scrubbing. Only recommended to buy for those asking for it by name. Bottle is simple, pretty, pink and glass. | |||||||||||||||||||
| ETERNITY by Calvin Klein. Poo-Poo dislikes Eternity very much. She does not like the men's version either. She finds Eternity to be innocuous and overworn. Poo-Poo is bothered by the synthetic freesia-assertiveness of Eternity, which seems to have no dimension as a fragrance. Poo-Poo does not blame Eternity for its problems as a fragrance. She might even like Eternity if it had not become such a cliche as everyone from 7 to 70 had not doused themselves with it during its long reign. Eternity is too saccharine sweet for Poo-Poo. Poo-Poo would prefer that very few people wear Eternity as it tends to come on like a Mack Truck. Poo-Poo likes the tall, austere, square bottle. | |||||||||||||||||||
| ETERNITY PURPLE ORCHID by CALVIN KLEIN. Purple Orchid smells a lot like Raid Flying Insect Killer at first, scary and strong, as if is meant to cover a more sinister scent. It's either Raid or Glade Air Freshener in the Lilac Scent, and neither is a very subtle fragrance or something Poo-Poo sees people lining up to wear. It is too bad that the top notes are so clumsy, for the scent wears to a sweet and delicate dry-down with a delicious light freesia delicacy. Bottle is long, rectangular, and minimalist. | |||||||||||||||||||
| LAUREN by RALPH LAUREN. Back when there weren't a lot of perfumes with this tea-like fragrance, Lauren was something special. Now it just seems like tea done badly, the result of which is a gaudy and snobby fragrance. It is too sweet, the mistake of many tea-like fragrances. Its blend clashes with most scents. Only recommended for afficionados of the original fragrance. Bottle is as square as the fragrance. | |||||||||||||||||||
| OBSESSION by CALVIN KLEIN. Another fragrance that has suffered from being overworn. Poo-Poo has found that the people in and out of her life that wear Obsession, be they male or female, suffer from: 1.Alcoholism and drug abuse 2.Deadened sense of smell from compulsive cigarette-smoking and 3.Garden-variety idiocy. It's not Obsession's fault, also, look at the era that this heavy oriental fragrance came into popularity, the 1980's. Obsession is a heavy, overtly sexual fragrance that makes it plain that one's body is available to be pillaged. Makes it kind of hard to give as a gift unless you are trying to send a particular message. A round oval bottle. | |||||||||||||||||||
| OPIUM by YVES SAINT LAURENT. Heavy, heavy, heavy. The original Oriental of all Orientals, smells like old money, and not in a flattering way. Syrupy, pungent, and leaden. Enters the room by itself. Needs its own introduction. Represents an old generation of "exotic" perfumes that are blatantly sexy. Poo-Poo does not believe that genuine sexiness is as well-advertised as Opium sexiness. A perfume of excess for Yves Saint Laurent die-hards and fanatics only. A beautiful bottle with a cylindrical embossed-glass oval styling and a spice-red cap. | |||||||||||||||||||
| GLOW by J.LO. Too soapy, Glow smells to Poo-Poo like Safeguard soap, unsubtle, over-clean, and harsh. She imagines that the scent will wear well as soapy gives way to gentle floral. Poo-Poo is scared to wear this scent as people might think her bathing habits to border on the obsessive-compulsive because of the soap smell. Poo-Poo encourages the folks at J.LO to try again as the first effort is not always the best. Poo-Poo would only buy this scent for a teenager who begged for it. Poo-Poo dislikes the weird necklaced mini Pear-Person bottle, as she does not wish for her bottle to have its own necklace. | |||||||||||||||||||
| NORRELL by NORRELL. God-awful fragrance that should be banned from public use if possible. Smells like the inside of a stuffy cab where your 3 maiden aunts are sitting next to you . . . in the 1970's. A headache in a bottle, can cause instant migraines because of its cloying, tree-sappy, viscous stink. Sickeningly sweet. Old does not necessarily mean "classic". A perfume for 70's fetishists and sadomasochists only. | |||||||||||||||||||
| RALPH by RALPH LAUREN. Too fruity for its own good, RALPH smells like a tropical produce section where someone just spilled their watermelon-flavored soda all over the floor. So fruity that it is acrid and sour, Ralph is fruit overkill and needs to be toned down. Does not wear down or change either,so with Ralph you are stuck with whatever you get once you spritz it on. A very asexual scent, Ralph might be a nice gift for a teen or a preteen who likes fruity body gels or Bath and Body Works Cucumber/Watermelon product line. Bottle is blue, aquatic, round and cutesy. | |||||||||||||||||||
| RED DOOR by ELIZABETH ARDEN. Like a impenetrable wall of scent, there is something impossible about Red Door to like. Its florals hit the nose in a sharp assault, meant to be fresh, the effect is more like being stunned. Too sharp, it is a smell that evokes money and ends up smelling trashy. Cloying. Recommended only for fans of the cosmetics house or the specific fragrance. Bottle is precictable rectangle with red cap. | |||||||||||||||||||
| SUNFLOWERS by ELIZABETH ARDEN. Dull, vapid, and floral/fruity, Sunflowers does not inspire Poo-Poo. A fragrance that flopped after its introduction for a good reason. Simple and sharp-smelling, Sunflowers has an acrid tinge. Overly fruity. Might be okay as a play-fragrance for a child. In an egg-yolk color, white bottle has sunflower cutouts in the plastic. | |||||||||||||||||||
| YOUTH DEW by ESTEE LAUDER. Thick, headachy, syrupy, and old fashioned, Youth Dew was considered sexy sometime back in the early 1960's. Smells like congealed tree sap mixed with tar and cigarette-smoke. Overpowering does not cover how strong Youth Dew stinks. "Youth Dew" is a misnomer, for the perfume smells more like "Rotten Sap". Poo-Poo recommends only buying Youth Dew for those who ask for it by name. Bottle is dark-brown because of the stuff inside, prettily etched with deep lines. | |||||||||||||||||||
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