The Best and Worst Perfume Review by PooPoo the Skunk

Poo-Poo's Perfume Reviews

ALLURE by CHANEL. Poo-Poo is biased to try any scent with the same name as her favorite magazine, and Allure does not disappoint. Rich, deep, and powdery, Allure is what Poo-Poo wishes Dune by Christian Dior smelled like. This scent is almost all dry-down, or that delicious after-scent that one gets after wearing a good perfume for 5 hours or longer. Luxurious, complicated, sweet and feminine, Poo-Poo thinks this perfume represents the image of Chanel and is positively divine. Poo-Poo thinks that this scent is only suited to very femme women who wear lipstick to go to the grocery store. The bottle is square, classic Chanel.

ALOHA TIARE by COMPTOIR SUD PACIFIQUE. A masculine, un-sweet, not fruity, very creamy, buttery perfume that is redolent of white tropical flowers like gardenia, this scent reminds Poo-Poo of the old Scratch-and-Sniff stickers from her childhood in the 1980's. Remember the Scratch-and-Sniffs in the "Buttered Popcorn" motif? Yes, Butter with a capital "B". Quite vanilla/waxy, Aloha Tiare is a bit over the top, like an ice cream parfait that has been soaked in musk. Not for the timid, Aloha Tiare makes a statement. Even once it wears down a bit, it is still asserting its Buttery self. This parfum is definitely too much for Poo-Poo, it is a young scent best suited to a lady of about nineteen,an age which Poo-Poo occupies, alas,no longer. Packaging is the Comptoir Sud Pacifique aluminum tin style. Is very cute and minimalist, but in that old fashioned 1892 apothecary shelf way.

AMARIGE D'AMOUR by GIVENCHY. Poo-Poo loves all things Givenchy, Poo-Poo adores Audrey Hepburn movies. Sweet with a little bracing tinge of the original classic Amarige, this scent dances around the idea of being rose, for it is so soft and nice, and yet it is not rose at all, simply floral. Poo-Poo loves this comforting, non-assertive fragrance with just a little edge of old-fashioned Amarige. Poo-poo likes this scent on any woman older than 30. Perhaps for a soccer-mom in love this works. A comforting perfume with an edge. Lovely frosted oval bottle with a little plastic nested sea-shell top.

A/V by ADRIENNE VITTADINNI. Poo-Poo considers the type of this fragrance "everyday". It is fresh and clean-smelling, but floral enough to smell womanly and rich. A scent that was not afraid to be a little synthetic, Poo-Poo likes the subtle cleanness of this scent which was not harsh or soapy. Unfortunately, the overly synthetic smell is what sunk this fragrance in the first place.. The bottle was a pointy topped oval with a flourish, modern.

BABY DOLL by YVES SAINT LAURENT. Grapefruit done very well! Poo-Poo loves the lightness of this fruity-floral. Astringent, effervescent, and sweet, this marvelous pink stuff is like the perfume homage to Canfield's 50/50 Sodapop. Poo-Pooh loves the way this wears. It leaves its grapefruit behind for a more passionate floral after a few hours. Very good for a young girl to be wearing as her first perfume. Poo-Pooh loves the packaging too, the faceted bottle that cannot stand upright, like a cachobon or jewel. It is like a pink Christmas ornament, this perfume.

BEAUTIFUL by ESTEE LAUDER. Cloying, strong,bubble-gummy, and sweet, Beautiful is not a perfume that men like. Ironically, the ads suggest that it be worn on one's wedding day. Beautiful lingers, and lingers, then it lingers some more. Poo-Poo wishes that it would not wane so long as it causes her and others a headache and its sweetness quickly becomes cloying. Nearly impossible to wash off, even with scrubbing. Only recommended to buy for those asking for it by name. Bottle is simple, pretty, pink and glass.

BLUE by RALPH LAUREN. Very floral at first, a little daffodil and a lot like stepping into a peony tree. Poo-Poo likes this one, though it is not at all sexy or sensual. Bracing and fresh, the flowers give way to a soft fresh green scent. A bitter middle note that resembles smoky burnt fruit appears unexpectedly as the fragrance wears and though somewhat intriguing is not for everyone. Not aquatic like one would expect. A blue, rounded square, cut-crystal look for the bottle with a rounded top, nothing too creative.

BVLGARI pour FEMME by BVLGARI. Very powdery, this lovely scent combines green tea with its classic florals. The result is not-sweet, subtle, womanly and not girlish. Has a tinge of bitterness that Poo-Poo does not like on herself, which may not happen on everyone. A winter perfume, this is a mature scent that smells rich. Poo-Poo would like to smell this one on ages 20 and above. It is a complicated, rich scent, yet it is still light somehow. Poo-Poo adores the frosted bottle, which is architectural and looks like a little pagoda with a spritzer for the chimney.

CASMIR by CHOPARD. One of the first vanilla-based fragrances, Casmir is almost entirely vanilla and spice and has a noticable absence of floral sweetness, replacing that role with the vanilla note. Too exotic, rich, and dimensional for daytime, Casmir is a fun scent for evening, like a faux-fur coat. A good gift for a woman who likes heavier vanilla perfumes. Cute bottle that looks like a temple.

CELINE DION by CELINE DION PARFUMS. Want candy? The top note is somewhere between SweetTARTS and Juicy Fruit Gum. Lemony, refreshing, and sweet. Poo-Poo actually likes this very much as the Celine Fragrance is as light as a sorbet, with lots of complicated woods underneath that it is hiding for the finish. Poo-Poo adores this type of light fragrance for everyday. A great first effort in perfume and an ideal gift for female fans of Celine. Looking forward to the first fragrance for men. Bottle is classic rectangle.

CK ONE BY CALVIN KLEIN. Poo-Poo remembers when everyone wore this, when it was as common on the street as Sure deodorant or Crest Toothpaste. Poo-Poo enjoyed this on women more so than she did on men. CK One does not have much depth as a fragrance, and reminds Poo-Poo of a very nice shampoo smell or a very nice fabric detergent smell. It is more sweet-smelling than one would expect from a unisex fragrance. Poo-Poo finds this fragrance ideal to scent the hair and not the body. Bottle is something Poo-Poo finds appropriate to the scent of CK One, simple aluminum can with dippy little cap. Poo-Poo likes this scent in people's hair of any age. Certainly not a scent carrying any pretense.

CHLOE by CHLOE. As modern as a Classic scent can get, Chloe is a light floral with the touch of waxiness from a little white floral mixed in. Chloe runs the risk of being too sweet, like many of the Classic fragrances. Not powdery at all, Chloe is one of the few Classic fragrances that is light enough to wear everyday. Poo-Poo likes Chloe on ages 20 and older. The bottle is Classic and perfume is brown colored in a clear bottle with a petite white cap.

DUNE by Christian Dior. Poo-Poo remembers when Dune was all the rage, and she definitely approved of the new trend in fragrance as it tried to evoke images and places. Dune fell short for Poo-Poo as it was just a bit too heavy for her. She liked its sandy powdery smell, but found that it was not edgy and too floral-sweet for her to truly enjoy. Poo-Poo likes Dune for only certain people, as it is a personality fragrance. She loves the wavy round bottle.

ETERNITY by Calvin Klein. Poo-Poo dislikes Eternity very much. She does not like the men's version either. She finds Eternity to be innocuous and overworn. Poo-Poo is bothered by the synthetic freesia-assertiveness of Eternity, which seems to have no dimension as a fragrance. Poo-Poo does not blame Eternity for its problems as a fragrance. She might even like Eternity if it had not become such a cliche as everyone from 7 to 70 had not doused themselves with it during its long reign. Eternity is too saccharine sweet for Poo-Poo. Poo-Poo would prefer that very few people wear Eternity as it tends to come on like a Mack Truck. Poo-Poo likes the tall, austere, square bottle.

ETERNITY PURPLE ORCHID by CALVIN KLEIN. Purple Orchid smells a lot like Raid Flying Insect Killer at first, scary and strong, as if is meant to cover a more sinister scent. It's either Raid or Glade Air Freshener in the Lilac Scent, and neither is a very subtle fragrance or something Poo-Poo sees people lining up to wear. It is too bad that the top notes are so clumsy, for the scent wears to a sweet and delicate dry-down with a delicious light freesia delicacy. Bottle is long, rectangular, and minimalist.

LAUREN by RALPH LAUREN. Back when there weren't a lot of perfumes with this tea-like fragrance, Lauren was something special. Now it just seems like tea done badly, the result of which is a gaudy and snobby fragrance. It is too sweet, the mistake of many tea-like fragrances. Its blend clashes with most scents. Only recommended for afficionados of the original fragrance. Bottle is as square as the fragrance.

OBSESSION by CALVIN KLEIN. Another fragrance that has suffered from being overworn. Poo-Poo has found that the people in and out of her life that wear Obsession, be they male or female, suffer from: 1.Alcoholism and drug abuse 2.Deadened sense of smell from compulsive cigarette-smoking and 3.Garden-variety idiocy. It's not Obsession's fault, also, look at the era that this heavy oriental fragrance came into popularity, the 1980's. Obsession is a heavy, overtly sexual fragrance that makes it plain that one's body is available to be pillaged. Makes it kind of hard to give as a gift unless you are trying to send a particular message. A round oval bottle.

OPIUM by YVES SAINT LAURENT. Heavy, heavy, heavy. The original Oriental of all Orientals, smells like old money, and not in a flattering way. Syrupy, pungent, and leaden. Enters the room by itself. Needs its own introduction. Represents an old generation of "exotic" perfumes that are blatantly sexy. Poo-Poo does not believe that genuine sexiness is as well-advertised as Opium sexiness. A perfume of excess for Yves Saint Laurent die-hards and fanatics only. A beautiful bottle with a cylindrical embossed-glass oval styling and a spice-red cap.

G by GIORGIO. G is a happy blue fragrance that reminds Poo-Poo of Realities by Liz Claiborne. Poo-Poo finds G infinitely wearable, rich-smelling, and enchanting. It is a crisp floral that wears down beautifully to a subtle dry down. Poo-Poo finds G to smell warm but not over-powering, floral without being syrupy. And it smells happy. Poo-Poo likes this perfume on a content, assertive woman. Poo-Poo is wary of any blue-colored perfume, as G is basically blue colored perfume in the basic Giorio bottle. But the happy blue-purple color suits G well somehow.

GLOW by J.LO. Too soapy, Glow smells to Poo-Poo like Safeguard soap, unsubtle, over-clean, and harsh. She imagines that the scent will wear well as soapy gives way to gentle floral. Poo-Poo is scared to wear this scent as people might think her bathing habits to border on the obsessive-compulsive because of the soap smell. Poo-Poo encourages the folks at J.LO to try again as the first effort is not always the best. Poo-Poo would only buy this scent for a teenager who begged for it. Poo-Poo dislikes the weird necklaced mini Pear-Person bottle, as she does not wish for her bottle to have its own necklace.

LAVANDE VELOURS from AQUA ALLEGORICA by GUERLAIN. A modern-day take on old-fashioned Lavender Water, Lavande Velours is simple, soothing, soapy, and light. Has a not-sweet resemblance to green tea perfumes. Poo-Poo adores the scent of lavender in this scent. It is casual and not sexual in any way. Poo-Poo's husband does not like Lavande Velours as he is very very picky. Poo-Poo sees this perfume on woman or man, young and old. Poo-Poo encourages all lavender-lovers to pick up a bottle of this perfume and thinks it can make an ideal gift for those people. She loves spraying this perfume everywhere on towels and linens. The bottle is the piece d'resistance, a clear cylinder with a round dome top and a gold-tone filigree sheath that looks exquisite on the vanity table. Poo-Poo has seen the signature Aqua Allegorica bottles gracing boudoir tables in many of her favorite home decorating magazines because the bottle is so exquisite and beautifully designed. Poo-Poo would like to try the entire Aqua Allegorica line.

MARC by MARC JACOBS. Wonderful, well-interpreted, and well done white-floral perfume. First notes of white florals are fairly strong, almost too much, but wears immediately into a more pleasant floriental balance. Not sweet, not bitter. Much easier to wear than some of the white florals such as Aloha Tiare because there is no vanilla note throwing the whole scent in the inhaler's face. Can be worn as a dress-up perfume or as casual perfume, but probably leans slightly towards the evening side. Poo-Poo would give this to anyone who really likes perfume and does not have this one yet. One of this perfume's best features is that Poo-Poo can buy it in so many forms, even a perfume solid to pack in her purse. Bottle is Japanese inspired square with smaller rounded square on top, very nice.

NARCISSE by Chloe. Poo-Poo enjoys that this perfume is named after the Greek legend of Narcissus, a boy so beautiful and vain that he stared at a reflection of himself too long and got turned into a daffodil. Narcisse is as floral as the redolent Grecian forest it tries to recapture. It is heavy and old-fashioned. Poo-Poo loves the depth of Narcisse, it has a zillion flowers that come to the surface very slowly. The problem with Narcisse for Poo-Poo is that no two bottles smell alike, and production seems to vary. One bottle of Narcisse Poo-Poo owned was exquisite, gained compliments from everyone, especially men. The next was flatter,duller, less good-smelling. Narcisse seems like the ultimate scent for girly-girls and evokes images of Southern Belles and Hothouse Flowers. It smells like a hot garden. Bottle is classic, oval, with a daffodil on top, of course!

NORRELL by NORRELL. God-awful fragrance that should be banned from public use if possible. Smells like the inside of a stuffy cab where your 3 maiden aunts are sitting next to you . . . in the 1970's. A headache in a bottle, can cause instant migraines because of its cloying, tree-sappy, viscous stink. Sickeningly sweet. Old does not necessarily mean "classic". A perfume for 70's fetishists and sadomasochists only.

RALPH by RALPH LAUREN. Too fruity for its own good, RALPH smells like a tropical produce section where someone just spilled their watermelon-flavored soda all over the floor. So fruity that it is acrid and sour, Ralph is fruit overkill and needs to be toned down. Does not wear down or change either,so with Ralph you are stuck with whatever you get once you spritz it on. A very asexual scent, Ralph might be a nice gift for a teen or a preteen who likes fruity body gels or Bath and Body Works Cucumber/Watermelon product line. Bottle is blue, aquatic, round and cutesy.

RED DOOR by ELIZABETH ARDEN. Like a impenetrable wall of scent, there is something impossible about Red Door to like. Its florals hit the nose in a sharp assault, meant to be fresh, the effect is more like being stunned. Too sharp, it is a smell that evokes money and ends up smelling trashy. Cloying. Recommended only for fans of the cosmetics house or the specific fragrance. Bottle is precictable rectangle with red cap.

REALITIES by LIZ CLAIBORNE. Fruity and floral-oriental, smells like Carmen Miranda's hat, citrusy and tropical minus any stifling overtones of white flowers like Gardenia. Fresh and invigorating, but rich too. Poo-Poo loves Realities exquisite dry down which occurs 5 hours after the fragrance is worn, smells like flower heaven. Poo-Poo sees this as an 18 and older fragrance. Fantastic block-pyramid bottle with little green spritzer-block on top.

SENSI by GIORGIO ARMANI. Golden, silky, sandy, and soft, this perfume has little depth but is more like a warm, fuzzy blanket of scent. Comforting, sensual, and light. Not obstrusive, can be worn day or evening. Soothing and almost milky in its softness. A comforting, maternal smell, very similar to the sweetness of Johnson's Baby Oil in the original scent. What Love's Baby Soft wishes it smelled like. Poo-Poo envisions new moms wearing this perfume. Simple oval glass bottle that looks like a glass bubble with a long cap.

SICILY by DOLCE AND GABBANA. Light as shampoo and sweet as candy, Sicily puts the dolce back into Dolce and Gabbana. Soapy without evoking memories of Dial, Sicily is warm and feminine and clean all at the same time. Less maternal/sexy than Sensi by Giorgio Armani, Sicily is less dessert-like and more refreshing. Would make a perfect everyday fragrance for any woman. Poo-Poo loves Sicily and even considers buying it for herself. A plain square bottle with a black square cap, Sicily's packaging is pure minimalist.

SILENCES by JACOMO. Strange, unique, and discontinued from what Poo-Poo has heard, Silences is the ultimate fragrance for Goth girls and boys. Mixes well with cigarette smoke, as grotesque as that sounds. A dry, semi-powdery scent that is somber yet light, Silences is not sweet. If the color light gray had a fragrance, Silences would be it. Very unusual. A perfume to buy for fans of Siouxie Sioux and Sisters of Mercy. Comes in a round black bottle that is completely opaque.

SUNFLOWERS by ELIZABETH ARDEN. Dull, vapid, and floral/fruity, Sunflowers does not inspire Poo-Poo. A fragrance that flopped after its introduction for a good reason. Simple and sharp-smelling, Sunflowers has an acrid tinge. Overly fruity. Might be okay as a play-fragrance for a child. In an egg-yolk color, white bottle has sunflower cutouts in the plastic.

VANILLE by COMPTOIR SUD PACIFIQUE. Smells exactly like vanilla extract. A dead ringer. Poo-Poo is not sure that she likes to smell exactly like vanilla extract, though vanilla is said to be a scientifically proven male aphrodisiac. Good for vanilla lovers that are purists. The usual apothecary silver tin canister for a bottle.

VANILLE ABRICOT by COMPTOIR SUD PACIFIQUE. Apricot lends a refreshing fruitiness to the original Vanilla extract scent of Comptoir Sud's Vanille. It is what is needed. Poo-Poo enjoys the resulting Orange Creamsicle-like result. Just about perfect as a gift fragrance, appropriate to almost any age. Same Comptoir Sud bottle, silver tin apothecary canister.

VANILLA FIELDS by COTY. Vanilla tempered with just a slight oriental tinge, not enough to overpower. A fun fragrance when worn in small doses, Vanilla Fields rises beyond its drugstore status because it is such a simple combination of scents and doesn't try too hard. A good gift for vanilla afficionados. A plain glass bottle with a little flourish, nothing special in packaging.

YOUTH DEW by ESTEE LAUDER. Thick, headachy, syrupy, and old fashioned, Youth Dew was considered sexy sometime back in the early 1960's. Smells like congealed tree sap mixed with tar and cigarette-smoke. Overpowering does not cover how strong Youth Dew stinks. "Youth Dew" is a misnomer, for the perfume smells more like "Rotten Sap". Poo-Poo recommends only buying Youth Dew for those who ask for it by name. Bottle is dark-brown because of the stuff inside, prettily etched with deep lines.

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