But as she locked eyes with Lance, her urge to bolt out the cafeteria door dissolved; what
did he have to say?
"Look Lance, I ain't got all day. Say what you wanna say and let me get on with my life",
Raven snarled.
Lance overlooked her comment; not even blinking. He had tuned out the rest of the world,
focusing on his mission to gain back Raven's trust.
"I know I probably don't deserve your condolences after the shit I put you through. I
probably don't even deserve to be talking to you, right now. But if someone gave me the
chance to go back and change the past, I wouldn't, because I wouldn't have fallen in love
with you. I hate to say it, but if I hadn't made that bet with Justin, then I wouldn't be down
on one knee, telling the whole school how I feel about you and you wouldn't be standing
here, debating whether or not to forgive me. You told me to that saying the words
wouldn't prove anything but I'm going to keep saying them until you believe the truth."
"I love you, Raven Kenzington. I don't love you because I have to or need to, in order to
win a stupid bet. I love you, because I want to. So all I'm saying is, find it in your heart to
give me another chance. And if we have to start all over again as friends, then so be it,
because I'm not going anywhere", Lance announced, his voice booming over the silence of
the audience.
Raven's free hand brushed away the randomly flowing, swollen tears and managed to give
him a half-smile. A million and one emotions, unable to be expressed with all 26 letters of
the alphabet bombarded her. She quickly scanned the shocked cafeteria, each and every
person waiting for her response. Her eyes finally settled back onto Lance, who's eyes had
never left her's.
She gave a nervous laugh, void of amusement and then smirked. She figured that sarcasm
was the only and best way to deal with the situation at hand.
"What about your image? Won't you be ruining your whole high school career by breaking
the law of being seen with the Angel Of Death?" she curiously remarked. Lance grinned.
"No. I don't care what everyone else thinks. Besides, haven't I already broken every rule in
the book?" he asked. Raven laughed, the invisible hole in her heart disappearing.
"That you have, Pretty Boy."
"So, have you accepted my apology, because my knee is beginning to hurt", he
questioned, more serious than joking.
Raven's smile vanished. Raven had never really considered herself a dare-devil; especially
when it came to matters of the heart. If this had been another teen movie, this would have
been the life-changing part where she'd reply with a witty remark, Lance would laugh, rise
and pull her into his arms. Then, they'd stare into each other's eyes for a nanosecond and
finally share a passionate kiss while a sappy, 'you light up my life' type song played,
compliments of a boy band and the whole cafeteria cheered, thus promoting the subliminal
message that even if you are society's outcast, you too will find true love.
But what these movies failed to show was the fear. The fear in being rejected again and
thrown out like yesterday's garbage. And what she was feeling right now was nothing but
fear. She knew that Lance loved her but what she didn't know, was for how long. What if
everything ended tomorrow? She would end up right back where she started; broken
hearted and the laughing stock of the school. She had experienced enough pain and she
didn't think she could handle much more.
"Raven?" Lance warily asked.
"I-I'm sorry. I can't", Raven muttered, hoarsely. Lance let go of her hand and stood up,
gazing down at her.
"What? You can't what?" he demanded. She could feel the crowd edge forward in their
seats, watching the confrontation like it was an episode of Day's Of Our Lives. Raven
glanced down, feeling uncomfortable with Lance's laser stare. She grabbed a hold of the
middle of her arm and rubbed it.
"I can't set myself up for this; again. I'm sorry", she explained. And before he could say
another word, she raced out of the cafeteria, out the front doors and into the warmth of
the sunlight, tearing Lance's and her heart into more parts imaginable.
*~*~*~*~*
(A few days later)
The sky was a gray the color of steel, or an Army tank, mixed in with the slightest touch
of black and navy blue. The clouds were cream colored; fluffy like over-stuffed, feather
pillows. The rain showed no mercy and pelted down upon them like sharpened nails;
drenching them to the bone like a storm in Amazon. An occasional clap of thunder and a
jolt of lightening was also added to the brewing tempest. Raven held her backpack up over
her head and sprinted up the stairs. She fished into her pocket for her house key, shoved it
in the lock and scrambled into the house as Alicia's VW Beetle sped away.
The door slammed shut and she leaned against it, wiping the water from her face with the
back of hand and shaking droplets across the wood floor. School had finally ended and
Raven was more than glad to go home.
"Raven!? Is that you?" Mrs. Kenzington's voice floated from the basement. Raven set her
soaking backpack on the rug and began slipping off her Doc Martin boots.
"Yes, Mom!" she called back.
"There's still some hot water in the kettle if you want to make some tea; I know it's raining
cats and dogs outside", Mrs. Kenzington replied.
"Thanks Mom", Raven responded.
"Your welcome. And Lance called for you. He says it's important", Mrs. Kenzington
added. Raven sighed.
"Ok!"
It had only been a few days since the incident in the cafeteria but it felt like a century since
she'd been in the safety of his arms. Ever since that day, Raven had avoided Lance as
much as possible and been surrounded by her group of friends, in case she'd ever happen
to run into him. Raven knew that whatever Lance had to say, he'd rather say it without the
company of Alicia, Tia and Kerry.
With her boots laying on the rug, she marched up the steps, into her room and
immediately headed to her stereo and popped in Blink 182's, Enema of the State cd. She
flopped down on her bed and opened the bottom drawer of her nightstand, pulling out the
ratty copy of 'Pride and Prejudice'.
Her eyes read began reading the first paragraph but her mind was entirely somewhere else.
[Why, oh why, did I turn him down! But still, staying away from him is better than getting
hurt again...but then again, it's easier said than done. I miss him more than I thought. I
wish I'd get the nerve to talk to him again...]
Suddenly, the ringing of her phone sliced through her thoughts. She sighed and set the
book aside and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Raven questioned.
"Is this Raven?" a somewhat familiar male voice asked.
"Uh..yeah and who the heck is this?" Raven demanded. It wasn't that often that boys
randomly decided to give her a ring.
"This is Justin. Justin Timberlake. I-"
"JUSTIN? What the hell are you calling for?!" Raven exclaimed.
"Raven, will you just stop for once?" Justin replied, clearly frustrated.
"What do you want?" Raven icily asked.
"It's about Lance."
Raven rolled her eyes. Why would Justin be calling about Lance when he couldn't stand to
be in the same room with him?
"And your point is...?"
"He was coming from school. He had to stay after for a student council meeting. He was
driving to your house when it happened", Justin gravely informed. Raven's smirk dropped
off her face and she began to grip the phone so tightly, her knuckles become a ghostly
white.
Something bad had happened. She could feel it in her soul.
"What? What happened?" Raven nervously whispered. Justin deeply inhaled then exhaled.
"He......there's no easy way to put this. He was hit by a drunk driver; head on. He's in the
ICU in the hospital", Justin solemnly clarified. Raven gasped. Her stomach felt like
someone had ripped it out, stomped on it with cleats and then shoved into a blender on
puree.
He had to be joking. Lance? As in her Lance? The world suddenly stopped rotating and it
felt as though her heart stopped with it.
[This isn't happening. This isn't happening...]
"Raven? Raven? Are you there?" Justin curiously asked. Raven snapped out of her daze,
her breathing suddenly increasing like she had just finished a 50 mile race in the Sahara
Desert.
"Is....is he gonna be ok?" Justin sighed.
"I don't know. I don't know."
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