Were in this world, is right enough for me
To speak of woe that is in marriage:
For lordings, since I was twelve years of age,
Thanks be to God eternally alive,
At the church-door I have had husbands five
(If I so often might a-wedded be)
And each a worthy man in his degree.
But recently was I giv'n assurance,
That since Lord Jesus never went but once
To wedding - at Cana in Galilee -
That by that same example he taught me
But one wedding could have significance.
Harken too what sharp words for the nonce
Beside a well, did Jesus, God and man,
Speak in reproof of the Samaritan:
"Five husbands hast thou had in all," quoth he,
"And that same man who now enjoyeth thee
Is not thy husband;" said he thus to her.
What he meant thereby, I cannot aver,
Except I ask, why that the fifth good man
Was not husband to the Samaritan?
How many might a woman have in marriage?
I never yet heard tell, and at my age,
The number set upon which men must frown.
Though they guess and interpret up and down,
One thing I know for sure that is no lie,
God bade us for to wax and multiply:
That noble text I can well understand.
I know well too he said that my husband
Should leave father and mother, cleave to me;
But he made no mention of quantity,
Of bigamy or of octagamy.
Why then should men speak of it villainy?
Behold the wise king, lordly Solomon;
I find that he had far more wives than one.
I would to God it were lawful for me
To be "refreshed" half as oft as he!
God gave him such a gift to please his wives,
That other men may pine for all their lives.
God knows this king was talented - to wit:
That first night he had many a merry "fit"
With each new wife, so fit was he to strive!
Blessed be God that I have wedded five,
Of which I learned to pick the very best
Both from their "nether purse" and from their chest.
As diverse schools make perfect academicians,
So diverse practice varying positions
Makes every worker perfect, certainly -
Of five husbands' schooling, that is me!
Welcome the sixth, whenever he comes to call!
Forsooth, I will not keep me chaste in all.
When my husband shall from the world be gone,
Some Christian man shall wed me quick, anon;
For then, th'Apostle saith that I am free
To wed, on God's behalf, as pleases me.
