Here I do endite and revise for polyfolk the precepts of Andreas Capellanus, or Andre le chapelain, from his work variously ycleped De Amore, De Arte Honeste Amandi, Tractatus de Amore, The Art of Courtly Love, or simply On Love. The meager number of precepts I rede verbatim on his authority I have marked with a star. The book from which my text is adapted is Andreas Cappellanus on Love by P.G. Walsh, published by Duckworth and printed by Ebenezer Baylis and his son in either London or Worcester in the Anno Societatis XVI. I can no longer be troubadour to that which seems poisonous to my spirit; therefore I do seek to transmute this tradition's noxious qualities. And here I most humbly beseech any SCAdian polyfolk in agreement with these my principles, who desireth to exhort and quicken others in the most noble practice thereof, that they would send a message seeking to join me in the establishment of an earthly presence for The Court of Open Love that has heretofore resided in all of our hearts. If the magical blue text above be set upon by cruel imps, use your own most effective courier and address the message to: [email protected]
The Rules of Courtesy of Open Love
1. Loving one does not constitute a proper excuse for not loving another.
2. The person who is jealous cannot love.
3. No one can be bound by any love.
4. Love is known to be always waxing or waning. *
5. A lover exacts from an unwilling partner bitter love. *
6. No one can love who is dependent upon others for their love and good opinion.
7. When a lover dies, the survivor is enjoined to balance a desire for solitude with trust in the support of the community.
8. No lover can possess or control another, no matter how compelling the reason.
9. No one can fall in love impelled only by the known character and beauty of the beloved; one must be impelled also by the prompting of Love itself.
10. Love is always prone to vacate a miserly house. *
11. One who feels ashamed of the lowly station or poverty of one's beloved does not love.
12. A true lover in affection desires not to prevent one partner from enjoying the embraces of all who love him or her truly.
13. Love does not usually survive being kept secret from one's other lovers.
14. True affection can be neither falsely created or denied; whether consent is given in desperation or withheld for a price, these are signs of the absence of love.
15. Every lover allows herself or himself to feel vulnerable in the presence of the beloved.
16. The heart of a lover beats fast at the sudden sight of the beloved.
17. The joy of a new love refreshes and restores the life of an old love.
18. Love that is open is free, and what is free cannot be bound by the laws of property nor the hypocrisy of seeming propriety.
19. If love diminishes, the pursuit of solitude and the companionship of new friends often strengthen it.
20. A person in love fears no action of the beloved save her or his dying, and is prepared to face that fear unflinchingly.
21. True jealousy, when faced, reveals the fears of the lover. Only when these fears are accepted as real will they diminish, allowing love to increase.
22. When suspicion about a lover is communicated, it is an opportunity for that lover to reassure the other and to reassert the freedom of both to love where they will.
23. One who is excited by a new love is more refreshed by thoughts of the beloved than by rest or food.
24. Every act of a lover takes the interests of all parties affected into consideration.
25. The true lover regards as good nothing except what she or he believes will further the freedom and happiness of the beloved.
26. Love can deny nothing to love. *
27. Love is not haughty, or selfish, or rude: a lover does not seek her or his own advancement, does not brag or behave in any other unseemly manner.
28. Perfect love casts out dark thoughts about the beloved. The flaws of the beloved can only be seen unshadowed by blame, devoid of the denial of that darkness in one's own heart that blame has ever shown.
29. Sensuality is no barrier to love; however, neither is the absence of sensuality.
30. The true lover maintains a constant, unbroken fellowship with the world in which she or he moves and lives; the true lover eschews the hindrance of fixing upon images in favor of loving persons here and now.
31. There is nothing to prevent one woman being loved by more than one man or woman, or one man by more than one woman or man. Further, there is nothing to prevent one man or one woman's lovers from loving each other: for this is ideal love, and greatly to be desired.
Rosamunde del Shore A.S. XXXVI