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"Never get Freudian with a man with pickle." - Jack McCoy  Law and Order

"Hell hath no fury like a pissed off teenage girl." - Lenny Law and Order

"Your grief might be a little more convincing if you hadn't just admitted that you cut off your wife's head." - Jack McCoy Law and Order

"I'm late for my 1 o'clock spanking at one Police Plaza." - Law and Order

"Hike up your legal briefs and take it like a man. The bailiff can't help you now and my rapier wit doesn't give continuances." - I don't remember

"Rock, paper, scissors,
gun!" - Detective Green Law and Order

"Even a little tree needs a friend." - Bob Ross

"What are the odds that an elf will pop out of my desk and spit cider in my ear?" -
Law and Order

"Maybe it wasn't God who screwed the pooch this time, maybe it was you." -  Law and Order

"I know what a disarmed country looks like. And...Iraq...is umm...doesn't look like that."
                                                                              - George W. Bush

"Is it just my imagination or is every ruler of every country in the world right now a giant dick?"
                                                                              - Jon Stewart

"Be my president...I want me a new one." - Jon Stewart

"You know you're in trouble when thousands of South Americans take time out of protesting their government to protest ours." - Jon Stewart

"Personally, I'm waiting til Jeb or the girls are pregnant..er..president." - Jon Stewart

"Are you saying the storm was a terrorist attack?" - Jon Stewart
"No, Jon, it just fell from the sky." - some daily show correspondant in
Apocalypse Snow

"A million dollars an inch used to be my rule on the street, that's why I only made two million" *applause* "thanks for applauding a man with a tiny penis." - Jon Stewart

"The squirrel seeking missile: perfect for squirrels and squirrels piloting small aircraft."-Jon Stewart

"Never state clearly that which can be said with a multiplicity of obfuscating verbiage." -Jon Stewart






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