Title: Weirdly ever after


Email: [email protected], Does my prose hurt? Send me feedback. Make me stop!
Author’s Notes: So there's a disclaimer over in Chapter I, pt. i that's so good and comprehensive that you'll need a cigarette after it, I swear. Over here, Sam's about to go medieval on everyone's ass.

Chapter IIII: The "Mini-We" in Team
Pt. ii of iii (so far) in this chapter (rated PG again, and no nookie, but lots of potential for violence)

Sam paused outside the briefing room door, drawing a deep breath in preparation for facing her friends. Steeling herself, she pushed open the door a crack.

“It seems that Thor and I have both won the ‘triple-play’ pool. I am unsure what use Thor has for Tau’ri currency, however.” Teal’c’s said, consulting a map-sized sheet of paper spread out between himself, Daniel, and Janet.

“I’m not sure what use you have for it, Teal’c,” Daniel answered sourly. He seemed to be dividing a surprisingly large amount of money into piles.

“It is true, DanielJackson, that my satisfaction in knowing that O’Neill and MajorCarter behaved precisely as I knew they would is greater than any monetary gain,” He reached out to pull one of Daniel’s piles toward him, “However, I gladly accept the money as well.”

Daniel slapped at his hand, not flinching at Teal’c’s murderous glare, “Now hang on! We don’t have confirmation on the ‘extraordinary circumstances’ just yet.”

“Oh, give it up, Daniel,” Janet interrupted, sounding a bit testy herself, “Siler’s drive-by confirms that both cars are gone from the restaurant parking lot. They got there under their own power---no breakdowns, no life-threatening situations.” She patted his hand, “Don’t be a sore loser. Save that for those of us who lost all three.”

“Minnesota was a good bet,” Daniel offered soothingly. “And your near-death by sudden rainstorm scenario was very . . . passionate.”

“Don’t give me that,” Janet said, narrowing her eyes, “I know you cooked up that civilian retirement party to pull the rug out from under me in the venue pool!”

“And you weren’t playing the odds by backing out of the trip to the cabin at the last minute?” Daniel shot back indignantly.

“Don’t think I don’t know about your plan to put a slow leak in Sam’s tire, Daniel!” Janet shook her finger at him, “If I hadn’t been watching you like a hawk, you’d’ve sneaked out to do the deed during dessert!”

“Any stratagems attempting to influence the course of the relationship between O’Neill and MajorCarter would have proved futile anyway,” Teal’c offered, trying to make peace. “O’Neill is honorable and cares deeply for MajorCarter. He would not have hesitated to declare his feelings once the difficulties of their ranks and the chain of command were removed.”

Sam had had enough. She threw open the door and stormed in, “I cannot believe you people!”

“Sam!” Daniel and Janet exclaimed simultaneously. Daniel whisked the sheet from the table and futilely trying to fold it up behind his back.

“Pools? You’re betting on my personal life?” She was livid.

“Wwwwell . . . we just . . .” Daniel stammered, backing up to keep the table between himself and Sam. Suddenly his face brightened with relief, “General Hammond! Good to see you sir!”

Hammond nodded curtly, then turned to Sam, “Major, glad to see that Major Kovacek was able to extract you. I’m told that Colonel O’Neill has returned and is on base?”

“Yes, sir,” Sam tried to keep her voice even as anger and nervousness rolled through her, “The Asgard returned him directly to the SGC given the urgency of the situation. He’s gone to his former quarters for some . . . necessities,” her voice broke on the word.

“Asgard?” Hammond scowled. “How did the Asgard get my people mixed up in a double murder, assuming that the situations are connected?”

“Yes, sir, I believe they are. The forensic evidence placing Colonel O’Neill at the scene was most likely left by his clone,” Sam explained, “As for how mine got there . . .”

“I can answer that,” Jack appeared in the doorway dressed in his characteristic Navy BDUs, “Miss me, campers?”

“It has been but a few hours, O’Neill, and yet I have indeed felt sadness at your departure from the SGC,” Teal’c beamed beatifically and added, “You are looking exceptionally well, my friend.”

Jack narrowed his eyes, “Yeah. General, a word in your office before we get started here?”

“Of course, Jack,” Hammond rose. “Major Carter, if you’d bring Dr. Fraiser and the rest of SG-1 up to speed on what you learned at the police station, we’ll be back shortly.”

Jack opened the door to the briefing room and waved the General through. He stepped through after him, then turned briefly to flash Sam a reassuring smile. Sam half-heartedly returned it, watching with trepidation as the door closed behind them.

“So, Sam . . .” Daniel began.

“Not a word,” She cut him off with an icy look as she sat down at the keyboard and began transferring the files Thor had downloaded to her lab computer.


Continue on to Chapter III, part iii