Well, it's called a "drier" and it doesn't say "not for puppies", so how was I to know?
I'm ont gossipping, I'm "knowledge-sharing".
Merry Christmas! Sorry I wasn't there, I got the dates mixed up. December 25th, you say?
My decision is maybe and that's final!
If you're not a haemaroid, get off my arse!
herapy is expensive. Bubble-wrap is cheap.
Just because it's toxic, that doesn't mean it isn't tasty.
When man discovered that milk came from cows, what did he think he was doing?!
Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I could quit eating chocolate, but I don't want people to think I'm a quitter!
"Suicide hotline...please hold"
Out to lunch. If not back by 5, out to dinner also.
I'm gonna live forever...or die trying.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Me, ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
I know karate, kung fu, and 47 other dangerous-sounding words.
Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Never squat whist wearing spurs.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk behind me, for I may not follow. Do not wakl beside me either, just fucking leave me alone!
In just 2 days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
A day without sunshine is like night.
To be sure of hitting your target, shoot first and claim whatever you hit as your target.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
When you're up to your ears in shit, keep your mouth shut.
On the other hand...you have different fingers!
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
Watch what you eat...else you may miss your mouth!
Never eat more than you can lift.
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!
If Pringles are so good that "once you pop, you can't stop", why are they sold with re-sealable lids?
How do "thin ice" signs get there?
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.
Life in a vacuum sucks.
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Conserve energy - fart in a jar.
Life fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse behind.
Finished is better than perfect.