Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends, deep inside the earth.
I used to care, but now I take a pill for that.
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
I plead insanity...time and again.
I barely survived yesterday and it's already today.
I'm not mad, I've just been in a very bad mood for 16 years.
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
Since I gave up hope, I feel much better.
I try to avoid ideas, they lead to complications.
I'm finding that school is affecting my mental problems. I'll have to drop out.
Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
Some day I'll look back on my teenage years, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.
Dain Bramaged
I've given up trying to escape reality, they always find me anyway.
Kiss me twice, I'm schizophrenic.
Out of my mind - back in 5 minutes.
Sometimes I just want to dress up in my bunny outfit and scream!
No bran means no headache!
I may be smiling but I don't necessarily mean it.
Jesus is coming, look busy!
I finally found Jesus. He was hiding behind me sofa all along!
I'm not really a priest, I just love hearing gossip through a wire mesh.
Gest a taste of religion - eat a priest.
I was an atheist, until I realised I was God.
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.
Dyslexics of the world UNTIE!
OK, so you're cross-eyes and dyslexic. But you can read, right?
How do I set my lazer-pointer to stun?
I hate everybody and you're next.
WARNING: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
I'm so happy I could kill.
Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress".
Do NOT start with me, you will NOT win.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
All stressed out and no-one to choke.
I'm working on the principle that the only way to reduce violence is to kill everybody.
Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I'm not rude, you're just insignificant.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Don't try me. I'm pre-menstrual. I could kill you now and get off with a caution.
Upset? Me? No! I just thought your BMW would look better with half a gallon of acid poured over it!
I tell you what to do and you do it. Round here that's called "teamwork".
I'm busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
Three are so many nice people in the world, I just want to balance things out.
I'd like to see things from other peoples' point of view but I can seem to get my head that far up my arse!
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off of the sidewalk.
I have what it takes to take what you have. Be warned.
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. It matters whether I win or lose.
An optimist believes this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
ERROR406:file.corrupt:config.earth---reboot.universe? (Y/N)
Nobody is listening until you make a mistake.
Some days you are the fly. Others, you are the windshield.
The light at the end of the tunnel is probably the headlights of the on-coming train.
I'm only wearing black until they invent a darker colour.
No-one's a virgin, life screws us all.
The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf.
I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific.
If everything seems to be going well then an important factor has obviously been over-looked.
The highway is full of flat rodents who couldn't make up their minds.
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.
Don't take life too seriously, it isn't permanent.
Did you hear about the one-armed prostitute? You've gotta hand it to her!
How do you make Winniw The Pooh cry? Stick 2 fingers in his honey!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!
The dog ate my homework, so I ate the dog.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
You! Off my planet!
Earth is full. Go home.
If I want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet I'll put shoes on my cat.
Barbie is a slut. Who else would sleep with Ken?
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
Muder is such a horrible word. I prefer to call it "assisted suicide".
Some call it "blackmail", but I prefer to call it "redistribution of the wealth".
I wasn't drunk, I just felt like passing out on the floor. Is that a crime now?
I may look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really rather busy.
With my brains and your body we would make one smart walrus!
My dentist was kidnapped by the tooth fairy.
I was attacked 25 times by a mugger with short-term amnesia.
No, ofcourse I'm not planning to join a competitot. I always download everything onto disk and take them home at night