Facts of Life

Of all the pages I write, this will turn out to be the happiest and the saddest at the same time.

Have you ever wondered why your life sucks so much? Well, there are several FACTS OF LIFE that contribute to the Suckage Factor:

FACT ONE: Freakin Parents

Why is life as a teenager so bad? I can tell you that right now. Parents. They are control freaks and they never let you have fun...unless it works into their years-in-advance drawn-out plan. They don't want to bend anything to let us have time. However, when it is our turn to do something for them, we always have to. Because their lives are more important than ours are. That is what I like to call a FACT OF LIFE.

FACT TWO: Freakin School

School (and homework with it) can be the second most major contributor to the Life-Suckiage Factor. Taking all your time and ruling over your life because "your grades count forever" and all that other crap. But it is another FACT OF LIFE. We have to adjust our life around school because it is more important than our lives, like everything else. Basically, since there are two soles in a pair of shoes, school is the other sole reason why your life sucks.

FACT THREE: Freakin Legal Siblings

"You can't do this", "You can't do that", because "You have to watch your brothers" or "You have to watch your sisters". Basically, these "bundles of joy" totally ruin your life on every aspect. If you want to go have fun, you can't because you have to watch your brothers while your PARENTS go have fun instead of you (refer to Fact One). They make you pull out all your hair because they are so annoying and cause so much trouble. They peek over your shoulder, listen in on your phone conversations, go through your stuff, read your stuff, and steal your stuff. They want to do everything like you, so they follow you around everywhere you go. But when you point this out, they deny it. Everything they do is blamed on you (see Fact One again) and you are supposed to do everything for them. It is your responsibility to be a good example, so when you screw up, you are punished even more. Your legal siblings are little satans in disguise as "little blessings".

Now do you see why your life sucks so much? Good. So do I. The three legs of a stool. The three heads on a dragon. The three eyes on a terrible monster that eats your social life and every other aspect of you that is good.

The only solution? Screw them all. Or...the "better" but suckier alternative...bear it. I just say screw it all.

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2003 (c) Retarded Farris