Willow followed Victoria quietly through the house, admiring her surroundings. The house was beautiful. It was a mix between gothic and modern, obviously from both of their tastes. “Your home is beautiful,” she told Victoria.
“Thank you, my dear. Let's go out to the garden, shall we?”
“Ok,” Willow said quietly. She kept in step with Victoria and noticed that once they stepped outside, they slowed down.
Victoria turned towards Willow and gave her a comforting smile. “Do you love, William?”
“Spike? Goddess, no! We're just friends.”
“Friends,” Victoria repeated as if she had never heard the word before. “Do you care for him?”
“Well, I don't want him dusty if that's what you mean.”
“Why exactly did you come here? What did you want to know?”
Willow suddenly became very nervous. “I…I hope I didn't offend you in any way. I just wanted to see a human that was bonded with a vampire.”
“What is it you wanted to see?”
“Is it…I mean do you constantly feel his presence? Do you know what he feels? And if you do, is because of the bond? Is it…”
“Willow, please breath.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“From what I know, it is different with each vampire and the human they choose to bond to. You will be linked, but you are also separate.” Victoria stopped walking and turned to her. “If you choose to do this…if you choose to become bonded to William, you must care for him. Even perhaps love him.”
“I don't understand. It can be undone, right?”
“Not that I know of. But perhaps there is a spell that can undo it. If there's not, are you prepared to spend an eternity with him?”
Willow did a double take at her words. “Eternity? No, there's no eternity. There's…”
“The bonding spell will link your lives. You will age for five more years. After that, you will not get old. You will not die. You will have eternal life and you WILL belong to the vampire that has claimed you. You will belong to William.” Seeing the look on her face she continued. “I'm guessing that the Watcher you know didn't inform you of any of this?”
“No,” she whispered. “I didn't know any of this. Um…shouldn't we get back inside?”
“If that what you wish. Follow me.” Victoria led her back into the house and back to the living room.
“What are you so scared of, Spike?”
“Not scared of anything. Why is it so bloody hard to believe that I'm friends with Willow?”
“Because. You're. Not. I knew you when you ran with Angelus. A human like that is just a meal.”
Spike morphed at his words and advanced on Gabriel. “Don't speak of her that way,” he seethed.
“Maybe you're waiting but other vampire's won't. She smells of innocence, of power.”
“Nothin' is gonna harm the chit.”
Gabriel took a step towards Spike. “Would you die for her?” When Gabriel didn't hear a response but saw the words in his eyes he continued. “You're not friends.”
It was at this moment, Victoria and Willow entered the room.
Victoria saw William vamped and Gabriel's demon practically clawing to the top. “You boys have fun?”
They both turned around and Spike melted back to his human features. He saw Willow watching him carefully. She seemed even more on edge now than she was before. “Red?”
Willow kept her distance from Spike and then glanced at Gabriel. Suddenly she didn't want to be there anymore. Spike could sense her emotions. She was nervous. It was rolling off of her in waves. “Did you have fun, pet?”
“The house is very pretty.”
Spike quickly made his way to her side but frowned when her body tensed up as he lightly touched her arm. His eyes blazed golden. She didn't even want to be near him.
“Spike, can we leave?”
“Yeah, luv. I was just about to mention it myself. Victoria…Gabriel…always a pleasure. I'll keep in touch.”
“Thank you…both of you…for everything.”
Spike had been driving down the road for about ten minutes, his anger and frustration rising. Every time he glanced at the redhead beside him, she was staring out the window or down at the floor. She was looking everywhere but at him. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white. “Well?” he prompted.
Willow turned to look at him for the first time since she had gotten into the car. “Well what?”
Not giving him a forward answer fueled his anger even more. He wasn't even sure what he was angry about. Spike made a decision and swerved the car off the road and shut the engine off. “You…you can…argh.”
“Spike? What the hell? What's going on?”
“I want to know. I want to know what Gabriel said to you in the kitchen. You came back and you were…you were different. You wouldn't even get near me.”
“And that would bother you, why?”
“Why? Why?”
“I'm just a human, Spike. You've even tried to kill me on several occasions.”
“Things are different now.”
“Why? Why are things different?”
“I don't bloody well know.” Spike turned his head and looked out the window. “Fuck,” he breathed.
Willow tried to study his face to figure out what was going through his mind. “Spike?”
He quickly started up the car. “We got a bit of a problem, pet.”
“What's the problem?”
Pressing down on the gas, he concentrated out the window. “In less than ten minutes, it'll be sunrise. I need to get inside.”
“Just hide in the back and I'll drive.”
“I don't think so. There is no way in hell I'm gonna let you drive my car. We just need to find a motel or something.”
“I'm not staying with you in a motel! We're supposed to be going home.”
“Afraid you won't be able to control yourself, Red,” he smirked. His smirk soon turned to a frown when she turned away from him and looked out the window again. “You ok?” he asked seriously.
“Just great,” she sarcastically remarked.
Seeing the sign, he quickly turned into the parking lot and pulled a credit card out of his pocket. “Be back in a sec.”
Willow watched him disappear into the office and slumped her head against the seat. She didn't know what was going on. She couldn't forget everything that Gabriel and Victoria had told her but that wasn't what was specifically on her mind. She started to think about the last couple days. She wondered why she went to him. Why she felt like something wasn't missing when she was with him and it was driving her crazy. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the window and pulled herself out of her thoughts. She quickly got out of the car and joined Spike, entering the hotel room just as the sun started to rise.
Willow glanced around the room. It was standard. Bathroom. TV. Bed. She let her eyes gaze on the bed for a moment before looking up at Spike.
He arched his eyebrow and studied her. “What'cha thinking about?”
“Nothing.”
“Right. Well we're stuck here for the day. Might as well get comfortable, luv.” Spike kicked off his boots and duster, dropping them to the ground. He waited for her to say something but obviously she was practicing being silent. He reached to pull off his shirt, when she spoke up.
“What do you think you're doing?” she screeched.
“Getting comfortable.”
“How about you get comfortable with your clothes on?”
“But luv,” he started as he took a step towards her. “Without clothes leads to all sorts of possibilities.”
“I don't want to know about your…possibilities.” Willow started to blush as she spoke.
Spike started to smirk at her uneasiness. <She knows I'm just playing, right?> “But, pet…” he purred.
“Bed,” she squeaked.
“My thoughts exactly,” he told her.
Willow turned her head quickly as her eyes widened. “NO! I mean sleep…sleep is good.”
Spike shrugged his shoulders. “If that's what you want. I'm gonna take a shower…unless you'd like to join me?”
Her mouth instantly became dry. “Join you?” she whispered. Quickly, Willow shook her head no. “I'm just gonna--”
“--sleep. Suit yourself.” Without another word Spike walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
Willow climbed into the bed and laid on her side, away from the door. <All I have to do is sleep. It'll be time for us to go home soon. How hard can that be?>
Spike shed his clothes and stepped under the warm spray. Feeling the water glide down his body, he placed his palms flat against the wall and let his mind drift. It drifted to her. <We were just playing, right?> After quickly washing his body, he stepped out of the shower and dried his hair. Pulling on a pair of jeans, he decided they should talk.
He glanced at her body on the bed. She was turned away from him but he knew she was awake. He noticed her breathing was irregular. <The chit's mind is probably in overdrive.> He crawled on the bed next to her and laid down. Spike decided to act innocent. “Luv…are you awake? I think we need to talk,” he whispered.
Willow closed her eyes for a few seconds before she opened them again, staring at the wall. In the back of her mind, part of her just wanted to ignore him. To not listen to him. And the other part, a very far far far part, wanted to have a possible chance to get lost in him. <What are you thinking? This is Spike! Evil Spike! Evil vampire Spike!>
“I know you're awake,” he told her softly. Bringing his hand up, he drifted his fingers through her hair. “I won't be ignored,” he growled.
Willow turned over, facing him, her eyes flashing brightly. “Don't growl at me. Why do you do that? You did the same thing in the car.”
“I did what in the car?”
“You feel like you have to be in control. You're possessive. Well listen here vampire, I'm not yours to get possessive about!”
Spike wasn't sure how he felt about her last comment. He didn't know why he felt he needed to be possessive of her. He just did. Choosing to ignore her comments, he continued. “What did Gabriel say to you?”
Willow rolled and laid on her back instead of her side. “Doesn't matter,” she mumbled.
Spike's eyes flashed golden at her defiance to him. He pushed himself up and hovered partly over her. “It matters. This isn't a game!” When she refused to answer, he resorted back to growling. “Tell me.”
Willow sat up quickly and pushed him away from her. “Don't…growl…at…me!”
“Answer the bloody question then.”
“All he told me was that if you chose to do the bond, it wouldn't be because of the demon. He told me you did things because you wanted to do them.”
“And that made you pull away from me?”
“It just got me thinking. That's all. Happy?” she seethed.
“Not really.”
“So what did he tell you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“When Victoria and I came back, you both looked like you were ready to attack each other. What did he say to you?”
“Doesn't matter,” he mumbled.
“Oh, I see. I had to tell you, but you're just gonna stay quiet.”
“Fine. You wanna know? I told him me and you were friends and he told me we weren't. He reminded me that I have lovers and enemies, but not friends. He's right. I'm the Big Bad. I don't need friends. Especially not human chits.”
Willow felt as if her insides had just been all twisted. “Oh,” she replied softly. <If we're not friends and we're definitely not lovers, where does that leave us? Are we enemies?> “I think we should just go to sleep.” Willow turned away from him and laid back down on her side, trying to hold the tears back.
With that one comment, he saw the spark in her eyes dwindle away. He had caused that. And his comment wasn't even the truth. He lay back down on the bed with her and circled his arm around her waist. As he pulled her closer to him, he swept the hair away from the side of her face. “He was right, pet, except for you. I don't have friends except for you. You're my exception.” He knew she was listening but she still wasn't saying anything. “I just wanted you to know.”
After about ten minutes passed, Willow turned around to face Spike. His eyes bore into hers. “You never asked me what Victoria said to me.”
“You weren't exactly talkative, Red.”
“I don't want to live for eternity, Spike.”
“What are you talking about? I'm not going to turn you.”
“The bond…the spell…if Giles can't reverse, she told me I will age for five more years. After that it's eternity…with you.”
“With me?”
“She said that I would belong to you ‘cause you're the one that would've claimed me.”
He didn't even think about the eternity part.<Eternity with the witch. Wonder what it would be like. If it wasn't for the chip, I would have already of turned the chit. She'd already be mine. Wonder what she really thinks about eternity.> “You know, pet. The Watcher is pretty good about the spells. If he says he knows someone that can reverse it, he probably does.”
“You're over a century old, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you ever heard of it being reversed? Has Gabriel?”
“No. Not to our knowledge. Gabriel knew someone that tried but it didn't work.”
“What happened to…”
“The girl?” He watched as she shook her head yes. “The vampire killed her instead.” Willow's body froze in fear. <Not the thing to say, mate.> Spike started rubbing circles on her back. “Sshh. I'm not gonna kill you, luv. You're safe with me. I wouldn't let anything happen to you.” When he felt her start to calm down, he spoke again. “Try and get some rest. We'll leave as soon as the sun goes down.”
“Yeah,” she said softly. Willow closed her eyes and willed herself to go to sleep.
Willow opened her eyes after an hour of trying to fall asleep. She just wasn't tired. There were too many things floating around her mind. She glanced at Spike and saw his eyes were closed. <Maybe he's asleep. How would I know? He doesn't breathe.> Taking a deep breath, she maneuvered her body away from his and climbed out of bed. Glancing around the room, she headed towards the bathroom. She just needed some alone time. Flipping on the light, she slid down the wall and curled her knees up to her chest, letting the memories of the last twenty-four hours wash over her.
Spike felt her leave the bed and figured she headed to the bathroom. Only problem with that was he didn't hear any other movement. Opening his eyes, he kicked off the covers and climbed out of bed. He wanted to know what was going on.
He reached the bathroom door, which was open, and saw the girl sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. <She's deep in thought. Didn't even hear me approach.> “Red? You ok?”
Willow looked up quickly. “I'm…uh…I didn't want to wake you.”
“Wasn't really sleeping,” he admitted.
“I was just…thinking.”
“You wanna come back to bed and tell me what you were thinking about?” He held out his hand for her to grab it. “You can't just stay in the bathroom, luv.”
Willow grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull her up and into his arms. “Hey,” he told her softly.
“Hey.”
Spike tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, fighting back the urge to kiss her. <Not what you should be thinking about, mate.> He guided her to the bed and they both sat down. “Are you ok?”
Willow faced him. “No, I'm not ok. I have all these people telling me different things. I have no idea what to do. I'm so afraid I'm gonna disappoint or hurt someone.”
“Who would you disappoint, pet?”
“Well…well, you.”
“Me?”
She looked down at her lap. “I just don't want to make you mad at me. Then I started wondering why I care about that and why I was coming to you in the middle of the night and I don't know that either. That only made me more confused. And I just don't…”
“Willow, stop.” He saw her head come up at his words. “Don't worry about me. You can't make me mad and you can't disappoint me. As for why you came to me in the middle of the night…I don't know. I could guess, but chances are I'd be wrong. Sometimes things just are. If you're thinking about the spell, ask yourself this question. What do you WANT to do?”
“Well Giles…”
“Forget him. Forget your friends. Forget me. What do you want to do?”
“I don't know,” she whimpered. “I hate this. I don't know what to do. I have so many questions. If I don't do it, what happens with the demon? Will it kill us all? If I do do it, then what? We have a week to get to know each other. And in a way no one really knows me. Even you. Everybody expects me to be one way so I am. If I do the spell, what happens if it can't be reversed? How will everyone feel about it? What will you think about it? What…”
The more she babbled on, the more his resistance was failing. Catching her mid-question, he pressed his lips to hers swallowing her words. When she didn't protest, he glided his fingers through her hair, keeping her head still as he deepened the kiss. She tasted of fire. As he pulled away, her words broke him out of his haze.
“What the hell were you thinking, Spike?” Willow questioned him as she jumped off the bed.
“What the hell were you thinking, Spike?” Willow questioned him as she jumped off the bed.
Confusion clearly written all over his face, he climbed out of the bed and stared at her. “What was I thinking? I was thinking I wanted to kiss you.”
“You can't do that anymore. You just can't.”
“Why the hell not? No one knows where we are.” He took a couple steps towards her. “We can do anything we want.”
“I don't want…not with you.”
“Is that so? Pet, we kissed…again.”
“I didn't want that. I didn't even ask for it.”
“You weren't pushing me away either,” he stated.
“I was…shocked and…surprised and…shocked!”
“You kissed me back.”
“Bad judgment call,” she mumbled.
Spike was confused with himself. He was a vampire. She was a human. He didn't know why he kissed her. He didn't know why he wanted to. He knew she had a fire about her, bu t was it strong enough for him? “You know what I think, luv?”
“Do I care?”
He started advancing towards her, smirking when she started walking backwards and her back hit the wall. Placing both of his palms against the wall on either side of her face, he blocked her in. “I think you care a hell of a lot. And I think you protest a bit too much."
Willow was angry and a bit scared. “Meaning?”
Spike took a step back, his arms at his sides. “Meaning maybe there's something more.”
“Something more?”
“Something between us.”
“The only thing between us is whatever you've conjured in your head, Spike.”
“That so? The kisses, you coming to the crypt...Was that all conjured in my head too?” he spat out.
“I want to leave,” she said softly.
“The sun would probably disagree with you on that one. At least it would disagree with me. I told you as soon as the sun goes down, we'll leave.” Spike turned around and started walking towards the bed. When he realized she wasn't following, he stopped. “Come back to bed, luv.”
Willow watched him walk away. She couldn't seem to forget about his ‘something more' comment. She wasn't sure that she actually wanted to forget about it. Hearing his request, she followed behind him; making her way back to the bed.
Willow watched Spike climb into bed. She knew that his comment wasn't a mere request, but a command. And much to her surprise, she didn't mind following it. She saw him lying on his back, one arm propped behind his head while the other one was stretched out across her pillow. Willow crawled into bed and without a word Spike curled his arm around her body and pulled her closer to him. This time she didn't protest against his actions.
Spike laid his cheek against the top of her head. It felt good to have her in his arms. It felt right.
“Spike?” she whispered.
He raised his head up from hers. “Yeah, luv.”
“You didn't really want to be bound to me, did you?” She waited for his answer but heard nothing. “Spike?” she called out softly.
Spike saw her looking up at him as he started drifting his fingers through her hair. “Wouldn't mind it.”
“What?”
“Wouldn't mind being bound to you.” He saw her quickly look away.
“What if…what if it can't be reversed?”
“Would it be so bad, luv? If it wasn't for this bloody chip, you'd already be mine.” As he heard her heartbeat speed up, Spike closed his eyes and listened to the rush of her blood.
Willow relaxed her body against his, looking up into his eyes. “Tell me something,” she pleaded.
“What do you want me to tell you?”
“Something. Something about you. Maybe about an event after you were turned or when you were human. Something I can't read in a book.”
“Kinda personal, ain't it?”
“I just…I just thought…”
“Sshh, luv. I never said I wouldn't answer it. Let's see…” Spike tightened his hold on her as he started telling her the memory. “As a human…I was a good man, pet. A gentleman.”
The thought of Spike as a human brought a smile to her face. “Did you court someone?” she asked playfully. When she saw his face __expression, her smile fell.
“I fancied someone but she didn't reciprocate my feelings. Told me I was beneath her.”
Willow felt her heart break at his words. She could practically feel the emotions from his distant past. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories.”
"That was a long time ago, luv. Besides my life changed that night. It was the night I was turned.”
“Oh,” she said softly.
“After I was turned, the demon retained part of the human I was. Most demons don't care. They fancy death and destruction. Not only did I thrive on the violence…I have a capacity to care…to love someone. It just takes the right girl.” He pushed the hair away from her face. “Get some sleep, luv. We'll leave at sundown.”
Closing their eyes, they both fell asleep. Their thoughts wrapped up in each other.