(Gamer) Girls' Night Out
So
you've been reading my columns for awhile now.
(Thanks to those of you who are!)
You've got to thinking about female players and female characters in
RPGs, and I've (hopefully) convinced you that they can really improve a
campaign (if you didn't think so already).
Now it's time to take that next step and answer the question a lot of
you may be asking yourselves: "How the fubbick do I get other chicks
involved in gaming?" Well, I
doubt you're asking it exactly like that, since I'm probably the only person on
this planet who uses words like "fubbick" in everyday conversation,
but either way, I know you're asking it.
Women because you'd love to have more female gamers to back you up, and
men because, hey, you'd love to have more female gamers to...But anyway. I'll quit babbling and give you some
straight answers now.
To
get started, we have to ask ourselves, "Why is it that more women don't
play RPGs?" This is a question
that no one seems to have a definite answer for, and I'm no exception. I think it has a lot to do with
role-playing's roots in the wargaming community. Generally, strategy games are an even bigger deterrent for women
(have you looked in the wargaming room at your local SF convention lately? It's like a monastery with more Mountain
Dew), and when RPGs were first marketed they were aimed at wargaming's mainly male
fanbase. Women, thinking RPGs were all
about strategy and moving little figurines around, opted out. Because women weren't playing, game
designers geared their products toward men.
(Female paladins in chainmail bikinis, anyone?) And the vicious cycle began. How can we break it?
The
first step, natch, is how to find likely female gamer candidates and convince
them that they'll have fun with an RPG.
Sci-fi and fantasy fans are very likely to be interested. I've also always thought that gamer
boyfriends are the number-one recruiting tool for female gamers...it's how I
got started, after all! But personality,
interests, and relationship status, while helpful, do not always a gamer
make. I strongly believe that any woman
can enjoy RPGs, if her early experiences are good and she gets plenty of
encouragement from the rest of the group.
So if you meet a woman and decide you'd like to game with her, by all
means explain this interest of yours and invite her to one of your sessions.
How
you do the explaining is also important. I'll be the
first to say that we gamers tend to get awfully prickly and defensive about our
hobby thanks to being called evil and satanic by the church and the media. When asked about RPGs by a "mundane"
(to borrow an SCA term), we tend to mumble something about Choose Your Own
Adventure books or Cops and Robbers with dice and leave it at that, thereby making
our hobby seem even more intimidating and impenetrable. IF SOMEONE (especially a female someone)
ASKS YOU ABOUT RPGS, GIVE THEM A STRAIGHT ANSWER!! Explain basic concepts if you must--don't
assume she knows what dice and character sheets are all about, but don't assume
she's stupid either. Tell her why you
enjoy RPGs. Answer any questions she
may have. Be patient. Be nice.
After all, if we gamers don't defend our hobby by getting the CORRECT
information out there, who will?
All
right. So let's say you've explained
RPGs to a real live girl, helped set her up with a character in one way or
another (a good way to get to know someone--hint, hint), and convinced her to
stop by your Friday night gaming session.
How do you make her experience a good one? Game selection and player dynamics are key. As I've mentioned in earlier columns, female
gamers are generally more interested in character and plot development than
"How many ways can I annihilate this garrison of orcs using nothing but a
10-foot pole and a barrel of pickled fish?" I often start out new players on one of the World of Darkness
games (provided they can handle dark themes--if not, 3rd edition D&D or
GURPS are always good options)--it's a streamlined system, both in terms of
character creation and play, and the focus is typically on character and plot
rather than tactics. Leave plenty of
time to go over things. (Once again,
don't assume she's stupid, though.)
And
what to do once you actually start playing?
Why, just be your own sweet self, of course. Treat her the way you'd treat any new player. Introduce her to the rest of the group. Be friendly. Make a real effort to include her, especially if she's a little
shy the way most newbies tend to be.
And for crying out loud, if you're trying to impress a female gamer,
don't spend the whole session trying to impress her with overdramatic displays
of IC machismo. You'll only end up
getting in stupid piddly rules arguments with your buddies over who's the more manly
man. I don't know of any women who'd be
impressed by a bunch of geeks who would almost come to blows with their friends
over dice rolls and numbers on a piece of paper. Because in the end, IT'S JUST A GAME. (I'm probably gonna get some flames about this, but hey, it had
to be said!) If you have to compete,
compete to see who can be the nicest to the new player. Having a good time and feeling accepted are
going to bring women (or any new player, for that matter) back to your group
more than any other factor.
All
things considered, I don't think there are any truly insuperable barriers that
keep us from getting more women into RPGs.
It would be pretty cool if someday women weren't deterred from
roleplaying by the gender ratio, and entirely female gaming groups were just as
common as the all-male variety. Who
knows, maybe if we all make an effort to do some of these things we can really
make that happen. And I'd appreciate it
if we could all get a jump on it, because if you ask me "Girls' Night Of
Mage: The Ascension" is sounding better and better every day...
Parts of this article were inspired by the online essay "Saving Throw
For Half Cooties." Check it
out if you want to be all scholarly and see references to back this drek up, or
if you just want to read a really great article about roleplaying.
Copyright (c) 2000 by Beth
Kinderman. This is my original work, so
please respect it.
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