That Feminine Touch?

 

Okay...so perhaps I'm relying a little too much on "fanmail" to think up my OOC column topics for me, but when I got this email from Eric Zawadzki I just had to include it in my next column:

 

     ...I would like to address a role-playing gender issue you did not bring up in your essays, which is the impact female PLAYERS

have on the gaming experience.  I have been fortunate to have DMed several female players in the last six years, and have

often been amazed by the effect these women have had in my gaming group.  It was partially what you mentioned -- increased

interest in relationships, a tendancy toward diplomacy, and longer character histories -- but more importantly, it was the

contageous nature of these gaming strengths even among the men in the group.

     Instead of breaking or killing everything in their path the way players in all-male groups tend to do, male and female alike

started finding other solutions to problems.  The game moved more smoothly, felt less hack-and-slash, and the atmosphere was

more relaxed.  That shift was hard to measure, but I could feel the change in the room.  Even one female player makes all

the difference in the world; I wish I had a good one in my current group.

     An all-male group is a different world.  Every situation becomes a problem to be solved or an opportunity to use.  The party

works together (often with brutal efficiency) for the sake of the party goal, but the players won't usually stick their neck

out to rescue their companions.  It is romance, however, that clearly distinguishes the two-gendered group from the all-male

group.  Here, the line is drawn.

     My college D&D group (what can I say?  I love epic fantasy) was about 1/3 female (placing it at the edge of the demographic

bell curve).  Sure, there was a bit of flirting that sometimes got in the way (everyone was equally guilty of that), but

these players made and played great heroes.  Relationships -- romantic, familial, friendships, etc... -- were developed more

than in any other group I've played with.  They (male players, too) used to become friends with the local shopkeepers.

Romance turned into a rich and interesting theme in every campaign I ran for four years--PC-PC and PC-NPC.

     In a room of all guys, if I introduce a romantic interest, the innuendos start flying, but nothing really comes of it.  It's

never a major theme in an all-male campaign.  Even if I (as DM) try to bring it up, the players don't take an interest.  I

just can't get them to spend the time on this part of human experience.  In real life, romance is a major and universal

theme, but in the all-male game, everyone has more important concerns.

     This is a big let-down for a DM who wants to explore as much of humanity as possible -- pain, love, loss, joy, fear,

philosophy, ethics, etc...  Maybe I'm just spoiled.  You know the guy on RPGHost who wrote the huge response about why he

likes to be DM?  That was me.  Role-playing is writing long fiction in good company, instead of writing a tale with no more

than a computer for company.

     A final note: It would make an interesting study to see how an all-female group would shape the game.  A difficult study,

considering the small number of gamer chicks out there.  Even more difficult would be an all-female gaming group with

players and a DM who have never played in a group with men.  I find that men (like me) who have role-played with women carry

some of that influence into later games, whereas men who have not tend to be more "male" in their playing style...

 

I always like it when people think the same way I do and write half a column for me!  However, gaming is a complex hobby, and simply adding a female player isn't an automatic solution to every problem I've discussed in these columns (although I wish it were).  So, this was my reply:

 

     Thanks so much for taking the time to visit my website, and email me with thoughts and kind words--I really appreciate it!  (c:

     You raise many good points in your discussion of female players. This is an issue I've been meaning to address in OOC for quite awhile now, but never quite got around to.  (Well, now your email will hopefully encourage me to do so!) 

     As I mentioned on my website, for a number of years I was the only woman in a gaming group of 6-8 members, so I also have a number of observations and strong opinions on the subject.  You say that female players make all the difference in a campaign, and very often that's true.  The all-male gaming groups I observed did seem to use fists and guns faster than when I participated, and I tried my best to keep romance, character, and real storytelling in the mix.  But in my experience, being a vocal gender minority in a roleplaying group didn't do that much to steer things away from the old hack-n-slash.  It wasn't until a good DM or one or more other women got involved that I started to notice any difference.

     I'll be fair and say that part of it probably owed to the fact that my group was a bunch of teenage boys, enamored with anime and action movies and Lara Croft, who were still getting used to the fact that a real live girl could a) be a gamer, b) know what she was doing, c) have definite opinions and a feminine perspective on their hobby, and d) be VOCAL about her gender and ideas.  It was difficult to counter so much raging testosterone.  Every week when our GM asked, "So what'd you guys think?" I'd say the same things over and over: Less combat.  Less cliches.  Less dice rolling.  More REAL roleplaying.  More plot development.  More romance.  And week after week whichever "he" was GMing would promise to try better, then proceed to make the same mistakes over again.

     And even if you get other women involved, that's no guarantee.  The first time I brought a girlfriend to a role-playing session, her first action IC was to threaten other members of our party rather than develop a personality for her newborn character.  (In fact, the person who typically backed me up in that group was male.)  I think the best antidote for the "testosterone poisoning" you describe is a good GM--one who behaves in all the ways you described in your (excellent) RPGHost post.  Remember the two primary rules of role-playing: #1 The GM is always right.  #2 If the GM is not right see rule #1.  They're running the show in the end, and they can make or break the way the game runs.  This is both a strength and a liability.  In my last group I finally just gave up trying to reform things--it was the way they played, and I had to deal with it and enjoy those brief moments of Gaming My Way.  But when I took an evening to run a one-shot Werewolf campaign, things changed.  For one night I could do things the way I wanted them done, and the players had to follow, if only for a few hours.  I remember one player being disgusted because "I had to waste my Past Life skill to raise my SUBTERFUGE so I could talk to these people!!"  He was so used to beating things down before asking any questions that any discussion seemed like a waste.  But when it came down to it I think they all got something out of it.  My only regret was that I couldn't play!  (c:

     Fortunately, I've managed to find several groups that share my opinions.  My current Mage: The Ascension group is 50-50 men and women, and the GM is quite good...while combat is involved in every session, it's just icing on the cake.  He's more concerned with making good characters, telling an interesting story, and creating and describing a fascinating and fully realized world. It's not perfect; a lot of the players are newbies (and many of the females seem bent on proving who is the prettiest--but that's another story), and there are 9 PCs so each initiative pass can get ridiculously convoluted, but it's a vast improvement.  My character, Kaitlen, is very combat-oriented (which is a rarity for me), but even considering that I think I rolled "to hit" once all night.  And let me tell you, it felt great.

     Finally, responding to your comments about an all-female gaming group: This is something I have wondered about quite a bit myself, and to me it sounds like heaven on earth!  But since gender ratios aren't that perfect in my neck of the woods (or yours, I bet), I've had to make do with an excellent article I found online, called "Saving Throw For Half Cooties."  It makes a lot of great points about women in gaming and tells a fascinating tale of an all-female Earthdawn group and how they compared to an all-male group when both groups ran the same module.  I highly recommend you check it out (PS--this goes for all of you, too!)...it can be found at

http://www.tasteslikephoenix.com/articles/women.html

     Thanks once again for your intelligent comments!

 

Eric wrote back with another intelligent email, and while I wish I could just keep posting these for all of you I think I've taken up enough space in this column (and violated Eric's privacy enough, he he).  To make a long story short, we've basically agreed that female players have a tremendous impact on all-male gaming groups, but a good GM will increase that impact and change things even more.  And as I said before, gaming is pretty complex; it's impossible to predict what will happen in a group based only on gender makeup and personality.   But I think it's safe to say that the inclusion of female gamers will certainly change a group.  Whether that's for better or worse, as always, depends on the gamers, but I honestly believe female gamers will typically improve a group.  Then again, I'm probably a little biased.  (c:

 

 

Copyright (c) 2000 by Beth Kinderman.  This is my original work, so please respect it.

 

 

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