Gaming Pet Peeves
Role-playing games are a wonderful thing. They give your imagination some much-needed exercise, introduce you to wonderful and fascinating people, allow you to improve yourself through teamwork, and even give you an excuse to hypothetically kick the crap out of hypothetical bad guys every so often. My life would be bland and routine without gaming, but I have to admit that every now and then there are things about it (and things that other gamers do) that really cheese me off. So this column is basically an excuse for me to rant about that. Read on:
The never-ending "hack-n-slash" campaign. Sure, sure. Every so often, I enjoy rolling a bucket-o-dice and screaming, "I waste it with my crossbow!" in response to every encounter. But let's face it, lately the all-combat RPG has been wearing a little thin for me. I mean, how many different ways are there to hit a monster with a sword? For that matter, how many different monsters are out there, and when do they start becoming interesting again? And moreover, who would really want to waste their time doing this when they could be telling a good story and acting out a good character--which is the REAL definition of role-playing, right?
Overly complicated anything, whether it's character creation, combat, or something else. When I really get into character and start having a good conversation or an exciting battle, I hate having to stop and consult some stupid chart or check some piddly rule. Ideally, everything should be resolved by deciding what to do and rolling the dice one or two times--no confusing THAC0 math, or checks for this and that, or modifiers for every possible contingency. That's why I like the games I do--once you get going, you can just keep it up without a million tiny details.
Characters who have none. Maybe it's because I'm a writer, but I'll never understand why some people treat their characters so flippantly. You know who you are: the fighter with no fixed personality beyond "I'll smash that," the wizard ripped off from the template in the player's handbook, the character with no name or background because the player made him 5 minutes before the game began. Not to get all Dark Dungeons on you or anything, but on some plane of existence I've come to see my characters as real people, and when I play the game I want there to be other real people for them to interact with, not numbers on a sheet with all the personality of plastic lawn furniture. Fortunately, there must be other people who think like I do, because I haven't had to complain about this for awhile!
Gamer hatred. There's nothing wrong with thinking RPGs are stupid or boring or just not right for you or your kids; that's your opinion, and you're entitled to it. But there's nothing that makes me angrier than people who still labor under the deluded notion that RPGs are evil. The entire case against gaming is based on urban legends and misunderstandings, and THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SATANIC OR DANGEROUS ABOUT ROLE-PLAYING. I could go on for hours about this (and maybe I will someday), but for now I invite you to check out the Gaming Advocacy section of my links page if you want more information or if you think I'm wrong.
Becoming one of the guys thanks to being the only chick in a group of 7 or 8 men. It has definite benefits (you wouldn't believe the stuff that comes out of guys' mouths when they think that women aren't listening), but it makes things a million percent harder when it comes to getting shy, cute gamer geek boys to notice that you are of the opposite gender and flirting like mad! (c:
Being treated like a freakin' rare and fragile wildflower upon entering a game store. It's not so much the stares, or the way everything kinda goes quiet once people notice I'm there. (I'll admit, it can even be flattering...especially since I'm no supermodel!) What ticks me off is when gamers assume that because I'm female, I must be someone's sister or girlfriend or some such crap and therefore don't know anything. I've had people try to explain role-playing basics to me, or ask me who the book I'm buying is a present for. Then again, this only a pet peeve about half the time, cause the rest of the time it's fun to prove them wrong...the words, "Actually, it's for me!" can work miracles!
Stepping on a d4 while barefoot. Enough said.
Copyright (c) 2000 by Beth Kinderman. This is my original work, so please respect it.
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