A Gaming Group Of One's Own
Everyone experiences a big move at some time or another in their life, and knows all about the stresses of finding a new house, school, and job and getting settled in a new community with different people. When gamers move, I think we have an extra set of stressors when it comes to finding a new gaming group. People with more "normal" (and I use the term loosely) interests are lucky; they can just drive out to the golf course, transfer to the local Boy Scout troupe, or find a new room of the house in which to make their model airplanes. Gamers in search of a group may sometimes feel like Christians in ancient Rome; you have to speak in code and be careful who you talk to, or before you know it you might be standing in the Coliseum being stared down by lions with a severe case of the munchies. No matter what, it's likely that you'll have to do some work, especially in areas where the hobby is less common, and many people have no idea where they should even start.
I
feel as though lately I've gained a lot of real-life experience in this area;
when I entered St. Olaf College this fall,
I was suddenly groupless and desperate in a place where gamers are unusually
hard to come by. I'm a success story,
fortunately; after searching for ages, I found two groups of wonderful gamers
to play with. Because of this, and
because a number of people have emailed me asking for my advice on this
subject, I now present basically everything I know about how to find a
gaming group in your area. (You
can read my story in italics, after the advice.)
Wherever
you may be, your first action should be to check the Yellow Pages for game
stores in your area. In my
experience, most decent-sized towns will have a game store or collectible card
joint of some sort. If you're really
lucky, the store will have a gamer database of some sort or weekly games you
can join. If not, they might at least
be able to put you in touch with GMs and players in the area. If there's no specific game place nearby,
check out bookstores that sell role-playing materials and see if they have any
knowledge or connections. Small,
independent stores are your best bet, but chains like Barnes & Noble might
be helpful, too. What happened to
me: St. Olaf is in a small town, so checking the phone book revealed that there
were no game stores in the immediate area.
I spent an afternoon wandering through downtown, checking out used
bookstores, and found that there was NOWHERE in town that sold RPGs or
CCGs. Ouch. I kept looking...
Actually, when it comes to some of you I just lied about
what your first action should be...sorry! (c: If you are on a high
school or college campus, that should be your second action; your first action should
be to get in touch with any gaming and/or science fiction clubs at your
school. Many schools have something
like this, especially larger ones, and if they do it's almost always a surefire
line on a gaming group. Find out when
meetings are. Get on their mailing
list. Get to know the officers and
members. Here's hoping you don't have
to look any further than this. What
happened to me: I went to the annual St. Olaf activities fair, made a beeline
for the Games Club table, and asked the president if he knew of any gaming
groups on campus. He said he didn't,
but that other members might. I put my
name on the mailing list, wrote a note next to it saying I was looking for
other role-players, and promised to come to the first meeting. I kept looking...
As always, when your real-life channels have failed you, go
to the Internet! There are a large
number of online gamer databases full of people in the same boat as you. Get your name entered and do a search for other
groupless people in your area. Effie Rover has a nice gamer database, and
there's a nice list of other databases to be found at About.com's roleplaying section. And if all else fails, don't rule out
playing by email (PBEMing); I know, it's not the real thing, but it can be a
lot of fun and it's better than nothing, eh?
These days a little digging will turn up PBEMs for just about every
system imaginable, but I'm told that the Final Fantasy RPG is especially good. What happened to me: I put a notice on
this page saying I was looking for a gaming group. No one replied. I listed
my name in several databases. No one
replied. I shopped around for PBEMs and
found a few interesting ones, but decided to put off applying until I got
definite answers from Games Club. I
kept looking...
No game store, no Games Club, no Internet help, no
hope? No way. When all else fails, join the Society for Creative Anachronism! I'm not kidding! I got involved in the SCA for
its own sake, and was amazed to discover that just about everyone I talked to
was a gamer of some sort (or at least a sci-fi/fantasy fan). I can't vouch for other groups, of course,
but from what I've seen the emphasis on imagination, creativity, and creating a
character make it a gamer magnet. And
even if you don't meet any gamers, it's still a fun activity in its own right. So go out there, grab a duct tape
broadsword, and beat the crap out of some people! It's a useful life skill!
What happened to me: I joined the Baronial Colleges of Nordleigh and
became a 15th-century Spaniard named Leonor Caminante. Somewhere in the interim I started asking my
fellow scadians if they were gamers.
Most of them were. We decided it
would be cool to do a campaign together.
Chris the heavy weapons guy said he'd GM. And thus was my GURPS group born...
Still stuck? When even that fails, do something outrageous: Be open about being a gamer. I firmly believe that there are more gamers in this world than any of us ever know about, all of whom want to meet other gamers as badly as we do; all it takes is a little encouragement. So who cares what people think? Carry sourcebooks around with you, or work on campaigns and characters in a public place. Don't mumble something about "playing games with my friends" when people ask you what you like to do for fun. Hold your head up high, say "I am a gamer!", and see who answers back. You very well might be surprised. What happened to me: My GURPS campaign possibilities had stalled and I was going through gaming withdrawal. In one of those crazy 2 am fits of desperation, I fired off a somewhat pathos-filled email to the Games Club detailing my seemingly never-ending search for a group. And lo and behold, someone finally replied! He'd just begun a Mage campaign and said I'd be welcome to join. And when I went to the first session, I discovered that this gaming group consisted of people I had eaten lunch with a few weeks before! I'm a success story, but I can only dream about how much easier it all would have been if I hadn't been afraid and just talked about gaming whenever I got the chance.
This list is meant to be suggestive, not exhaustive. If none of these options work for you, there are plenty of other creative ways out there to find a gaming group. But if you take one overall precept away from this column, it should be this: Finding a gaming group is all about networking. The more people you make connections with, the greater the chance that one of them will lead you to the perfect group. In my case, even the angles that didn't pan out introduced me to some other gaming enthusiasts and just generally interesting people. Who knows, maybe those connections and friendships will come in handy someday for something other than gaming. That means getting to know people, being nice, and talking to anyone you can who even remotely seems to have the characteristics of a gamer. Take some of that good ol' teamwork I hope you've learned in roleplaying and apply it to the real world. Your gaming prospects, and your social life, will be all the better for it.
Copyright (c) 2000 by Beth Kinderman. This is my original work, so please respect it.
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