“She’s an eshu who looks to be in about her late teens. She’s Asian, and pretty attractive…”
“Score!”
“His intentions with this girl are entirely pure. He just wants to show her his ninja.”
“They’re swallowtail butterfly wings. They’re yellow with a little black woop! at the bottom.”
“It’s Mongolian barbecue. It’s cheap, and good, when it could be expensive, and bad…kind of like turkey.”
In reference to the troll wanting to get on the nocker:
“Is that big and blue, too?”
“So what you’re saying is, you’re a lying tub of shit.”
“Strip poker is no fun at a sausage party.”
“Ah, yes, when changelings go bad: hide-and-go-seek meets a throwing knife contest.”
“I still think this game is no fun without throwing knives.”
“That was some good hide-and-go-seek.”
“Elise? I keep forgetting she’s there, damn it. That tends to happen when you pull an NPC out of your ass.”
“You know, well, back when I fought in the Battle of Los Angeles…”
“Everybody get in the car.”
“I have a story now.”
“Oh, did you take a nice shit or something?”
“Thuk Frontliner IS Sylvester Stallone in…Cliffhanger!”
“Somebody totally ganked your tent, dude.”
“Yeah, I’m getting kind of stiff by this point…”
“It’s tough being the pillow.”
In reference to the satyr and the eshu getting it on while supposedly being on the lookout for large, thieving birds:
“So that’s what they call it these days: monster watching.”
“Yeah, you’re, like, lying down waiting for it…”
“We’ll probably forget about the monster after awhile…at least, that one.”
“That’s a tail, not a hooey.”
“I stay up in the tree for many, many moons.”
“So you make all this noise and pull the clearing into a tent. I mean…”
“I think your fae name should be Hot Nockers.”
“I’m sorry. I thought you said ‘bathroom fuck.’”
“Yeah, every so often Nancy will just be like ‘Foooood!’”
“Oh, that’s easy. You just feed her a rock…”
“Or a picnic table…or Andrew…”
“I’m talking about eating your harpy, dumb-ass.”
“We don’t need a trash can. We’ve got Nancy!”
“One of these lakes is not like the other…”
“I say we take this road trip. Who knows what we might pick up along the way?”
“Another NPC?”
“I hope the wind doesn’t ravage your wings.”
“It’s not chimerical wind.”
“You said ‘ravage’ in reference to Noel. That’s funny.”
“My pool is not yet completely clean.”
“I can’t sleep on my back. It messes up my butterfly wings.”
“Well, you better not have sex then!”
“I’d be okay. She’d have to understand, I just gotta ride.”
“Don’t swim in the pool. It’s banal.”
“I canoe you’d be renting a rowboat.”
“There’s a greenish light down there, and something scared the glamour fish.”
“I got wings, you got wings, and we’re mortal enemies.”
“I whip out my cock and yes, it is beautiful!”
“You already compared wingspans. Do you really need to compare weapons, too?”
“Dude, you can’t tie a boat to algae.”
“Yes, you can. It just doesn’t help.”
“Heh. Rose-colored mirror farts.”
“What a schnitzy place this is!”
Liz and Sam, visiting non-gamers commenting on perceived sexual innuendos in our session:
“At least the snake swallowed you. It would’ve been worse if you’d swallowed the snake.”
“I go clean my pool.”
“Oh, is that yet another euphemism for masturbation?”
“Here, I have an orange T-shirt. Feel free to cut it up.”
“Yoink! Less clothes for Elise!”
“You’re like a fridge. There’s just something about you…”
“So I’ll make him a new prosthetic arm. It’s powered by chimerical fluids.”
“Oh, not crashing your car is so banal.”
“Does my Daredevil merit count when I go cruising for chicks?”
“I start parading by the window of Burger King…quietly.”
“It wasn’t me! It was the one-armed…arm.”
“Guys, I think my left arm is trying to kill me.”
“That’s probably because it’s made out of sea serpent skin.”
“And harpy bits!”
“So you, you, and your arm have a fun night with the three sorority girls…”
“What does my chimera-dometer say about this?”
“Shit, I have to pee!”
“So go pee.”
“No, I meant in character.”
“Hey, what’s with the ass magic?”
Written in the smoky grey output from Trail, the level 2 Avenger Edge:
“IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU’RE SCREWED UP.”
Quote of the summer:
“Eat ass magic, shotgun man!”
“I didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe I just did things too right.”
“Stop that. You’re going
to get stuff on…stuff.”
“I’m going to go buy massive, phallic fireworks.”
“Yeah, roll Stamina plus Empathy to avoid blowing your nut.”
“That’s not Legerdemain, Noel. That’s jerking off.”
“Oh, damn. And here I forgot my chimerical barbeque back at home.”
“I jump in the lake!”
“Me too!”
“Okay. It’s very shallow, so you hit the bottom immediately face-first and come up with a mouthful of mud and algae.”
“That’s okay. We’re shallow, too.”
“Cool! Now if we get attacked, all I have to do is thrust my hips suggestively at our enemies!”
“You put on Leon’s stinky wetsuit. It smells like wet goat.”
“Are those penises on the walls?”
“I don’t know.”
“You should. Girls have more experience with them.”
“No, you guys do.”
“Only with our own!”
“Heh. Her pride took agg.”
“Does the dragon have any flaws?”
“Everything has flaws, if you know where to look for them.”
“Does it have any merits?”
“He was like Paladin. Only white. And English.”
“Well, what if we…(pauses to think, then makes a nose-picking motion) Never mind. File that in the silly hole.”
“So say you’re a Mind/Spirit pattern in a jar, okay?”
“What are we going to bring into the Dreaming with us?”
“How about lots of cold iron?”
“Niai, let’s go find a nice hotel, since this is our last night in the real world.”
“STRIP CLUB!”
“Is it better than Boobs On TV 2?”
“Dude, it’s boobs in real life!”
“Anything else you do tonight?”
“I buy a muffin.”
“You guys have getting a free hotel room down to a science.”
“Yeah, all we have to do is create a horrible mishap, then blame it on someone else. Oh, and have a lot of sex.”
“Can eels fly in the Dreaming?”
“Every so often the eel sticks its head out of the cooler to offer scathing comments such as, ‘That is the ugliest cactus that I have ever seen.’”
“Would you quit molesting me with your ninja?”
“He needs it! He’s been droopy lately!”
“Aah! Something blue! Aah! Something not blue!”
“What’s the troll talking about?”
“He’s looking in his pants.”
“We owe the eel something. We might as well get rid of it.”
“I say we go to Myrmitown!”
“Why? We’re supposed to go to Balloon.”
“Yeah, but I’m hungry!”
“The gates are made of wrought iron. I mean…um, it’s not cold iron, it’s…”
“Pleasantly warm iron?”
“Dude, testicles are the most uncomfortable thing in the world? How do you deal with them?”
“Pick a side and commit.”
“There is no farm!”
“Only Zuul!”
“Is anyone else willing to give up their life for this?”
(Long, awkward pause.)
“…I suppose…”
“No way! That guy hit me with a fucking glowing…hooker!”
“Is there anything else you guys want to do before I bring this campaign to a close?”
“One day, I buy some candy. And I eat it.”
The Players and Characters:
Adrian Haylie, a nocker mechanic. Played by Nikki, who is a sidhe.
Leon Phelps, a wandering satyr music fan with no attention span. Played by Iain, who is a pooka.
Niai, a rock-climbing House Fiona sidhe with butterfly wings. Played by Noel, who is an eshu.
Thuk Frontliner, a young and naïve troll warrior. Played by Missy, who is a pooka.
Storyteller: Beth, who is a nocker.