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10-3-02

9-27-02

                                   The Addison Column                   9-30-02
                                   -Addison International-

So, among the most akward social issues today, it appears that fighting is the worst. Why, do you ask? I've decided to blame it on society. You see, when Europe caved & Hitler took over, The Nazis (pronounced Nah-Zees) instated a uniform, one-size-fits-all utopia. Among their most draconian laws was a no violence policy(no comic books, combat training, movies, etc.). Sounds pretty Jim-perfect then, mmm? But then the Nazis (remember the pronunciation) noticed that there was a whole ton o' acts of public violence....
MORE TO COME. BE PATIENT!

10-2-02

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		The Addison Column -Happy Boss Day!- Today, Addison is going to reveal some of the massive secrets of the universe. ahem Basic Rules: 1. Avoid all unnecessary conflict and confrontation. This includes arguments, debates, fist-fights, outbursts, etc. Do not assume this means to only avoid people who are notorious for this kind of activity: Avoid these things within your self. 2.Seek balance in every aspect of your life. With equal priority for all activities, you are in harmony with your environment and the things and people around you. 3. YOU NEED FRIENDS!!! Companionship is just as important than food, water or (this is kind of a stretch) reading The Addison Column. Don�t let anyone tell you other wise. 4. You are not the only person around you. If you have not already noticed, there are more people (plural) than you (singular). You need to do things to interact with these people. Maybe it�s just saying hi to some one in the hall...but do something! 5. Develop some thing...some talent that you are good at. Being successful is almost as important as the friend thing. I recommend Dan Zan Ryu Jujitsu, but then I�m biased. -The Poster Childe of individuality- Kanji Otoko IV

		The Addison Column -0110001111001001- In one of my school classes the other day, we were talking about the Roman Empire. The essay question for the quiz went as follows: "Was the Romans killing animals any worse than the deer hunt today?" end quote. Can you believe that?!? Not only was awkward sentence structure present (such things are important to me as I am an Internet Columnist (refer to above title)) but the question was also preposterous. My answer was as follows : The staring differences should be obvious to a prestigious college goer, not unlike your self. The Deer Hunt is for food and family, while the Animal kill is for the pleasure of the carnal (Roman) man. -for Katie -Addison the Valiant- Post script: did ya' see my new icon?

		The Addison Column -HOOAH!- Today, I vindictively write to stop C.A.S. : Cheer-Abuse-Syndrome. You see, the general consensus is that cheer-leaders are uppity, Immoral, stupid and overall blonde (my apologies to all of Ray's ahem acquaintances). This is not the case. Some of my best friends are cheer-leaders and they all are VERY concerned about their academic welfare. Cheer-leading, you see, is not only very expensive. Oh, no. but along with all the money and physique it takes, cheer-leading also takes a 3.5 grade-point average. Many a-time has Addison seen Cheer-leaders scrambling around the class-room, trying to do something to raise their grade. Not because they are stupid or lazy, but because they always feel that they aren't good enough. Cheerleaders have massive inferiority complex. Anorexia, Depression, Poor self-esteem and the like are not the causes, but the results. The results of a general consensus of hatred. Hatred of cheerleaders by peers, teachers, athletes...and even themselves. So with all of that, do they really need your hate...too? For Alicia- -Addison-

		[]The Addison Column[] 10-4-02 -(O..o)- Today was kinda' depressing. I take French, right? ( for reasons other than popularly speculated) and there was this girl in my class who didn't know how to -get this!- TELL TIME ON A FACE CLOCK!!!! I mean come on! What kind of state is America in if we don't know the very basics of...of...LIFE! Oh! And guess what her excuse was: "my parents only have digital clocks, so I don't know." end quote. I was upset. The eloquent and masterful, -Dude with the stuff-

	-The Addison Column- -Huh?- Well my (ahem) loyal fans, I should think this is going to be the most provocative Column yet. As I am writing from the darkest, most unused corner of my demented and stipulated mind. You see, I have been abusing Zen today. Yes, that's right, abusing Zen. Please allow for a definition. Zen Abuse: The over usage of Zen abilities without proper instruction of the use thereof. I have discovered that human capacity is relatively limitless, but comes with a costly catch .22 for over-driven action. You see, I have noticed that I am very capable of writing A-worthy, 5-paragraph essays in under five minutes. But in this way, I have exhausted my mental and physical capacities, as the spell checker is my one true friend right now. The physical embodiment of all of Ray's psycho-freaky pictures, Addison The Omnipresent

		The Addison Column 10-2-02 -brought to you by the letter E- So, has anyone else noticed the glaring lack of responsibility in the world? It seems a certain anonymous group (women, cough, cough) are using their inborn super powers for their own amusement. Example: you know when your talking to a girl, right? And she has the worst, emptiest and pathetic arguments you've ever heard. So you go in for the kill, and strike the finishing blow. "Well" you think, "I guess I've won..." When she drops her head and looks a the floor. You almost start to smile as she raises her head with that one-eyebrow-raised half smirk on her face...and BAM!...your blown out of the water. That is how it is supposed to be used, but (as I am sure you have noticed) it is being used irresponsibly and childishly. So, with this in mind, I have composed a few basic safety tips: 1. Box a tiger ; and win 2. Swim to China 3. Demolish a brick wall with your forehead 4. Attempt flight by jumping off your house (we've all tried) 5. Remember to bring a #2 pencil to school on a test day 6. Read Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter And once you've attempted all of that, you'll have gained an appreciation for the futility that inevitably is linked to arguing with women. And remember...YOU JUST CAN'T WIN!!! I'm Addison Nosidda, good night

The Addison Column 9-27-02 -by someone else- So, it appears that the federal bureau of investigation has released a statement that they think that Sadam Hussein is an alledged official. ...mm...so? It seems that the formerly known FBI should now be called the FBISQ (Federal Bureau of Investegating Stupid Questions!) For instance: once youve seen one Middle-East-Zealot-Terrorist... HAVE you seen them all?

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