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Sliding Down
John and Mary
were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress,
taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that
John was ever so slowly sliding down his chair under the table
while Mary acted unconcerned.
Their waitress watched as
John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the
table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently
unaware that John had disappeared under the table.
After
the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the
table and said to the woman,
"Pardon me, ma'am, but
I think your husband just slid under the table."
The
woman calmly looked up and replied firmly, "Oh, no. He did
not. In fact, he just walked in the front door."
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Falling
There's this old
priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept
confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "if
I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word.
Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went
well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after
the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and
seemed very concerned. The priest said, "you have to do
something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the
confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The
Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new
priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could
explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and
said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your own
wife fell three times this week."
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