There was a time in the hisotry of the Earth when poodle snakes ruled the world. Unfortunately, this was only for a day, because of a mistake made when counting the voting slips.
Anyway, after the poodle snakes learnt that they had been kicked out of office, they started on a vigorous campaign to get voted back in. They started by meeting with the new Prime Minister, 'The Honourable Bob Brown, Speaker of Jibberish & Pig Latin and Patron of Casinos.'
This meeting went reasonably well. They managed to sign several agreements and drink 44 bottles of Prune Juice. After they had met, they shook hands and flew to Antarctica.
Penguins are fancy dressers, as you may well know. They like to wear tuxedos, especially when they are entertaining guests. Unfortunately though, they all like to wear black and white. This makes it very difficult to pick out any one penguin in a crowd. But then again, why would you want to see just one penguin? For aren't those pictures in National Geographic of hundreds, even thousands of penguins? They look far more spectacular than just one penguin. But back to the poodle snake. Well, it was walking down the road just minding its own business when a big hairy nose jumped out of the gutter and said "BONK!" He he he this was a strange thing to happen to happen, especially when the poodle snake was just minding its own business. The nose suddenly made a rude noise and from out of its belly button (or what looked like one) shop a big long green thing with spikes on the tip. It wrapped around the poodle snake and lifted it high into the sky. Suddenly a hole appeared in the road and a great beam of light stretched into the sky. Then another one, and another one! What was going on? Now the poodle snake was stretching out its arms into the sky. The beams of light were criss-crossing over its head in great arcs of pure colour and energy!
Suddenly, without warning, the poodle snake burst into wonderful, delightful song. (Just kidding) No, the poodle snake did burst into song, but not the sort of song that one hums in the street or listens to on the radio. No. This was heavy metal Poodle Snake style. Woo. It didn't sound too good either.
Aaaaarrggghhhhhh.
The song went something like this:
Ronk ronk ronk
My name is poodle
Poodle poodle snake
Di di de de do doo?
Ronk ronk ronk
I was out on the town last night-
When a big hairy nose came and
gave me a fright!
Aha, yeah yeah
Ronk ronk ronk
Ya gotta listen to what
I say
Hey man, Bonk!
Awesome. The record producers were flocking to the centre of town where all the action was going on. And yes, the poodle snake was lapping it all up. The reason why everyone loved the poodle snake's song so much was because that night, at exactly 6:27pm the country had entered a new era of song, appropriately titled 'Poodle Rock.' Over night, bands that had been popular disappeared from the music scene and prepared for their come-back concert in 20 years.
Everyone wanted a piece of poodle snake. Everywhere it went it was mobbed by screaming guinea-pigs, clamouring for an autograph, or even just to touch this cool dude hey mon poodle snake. Because, you guessed it, the poodle snake had been given a makeover. Done by makeover do-er of the year, Hankalofogist Smith. The poodle snake had previously been pink, but now it was acid blue. The fluffy fur that had once circled its neck was now gone, replace by a studded snake-skin collar, embedded with chicken bones. Its tail, instead of narrowing to a ball of fluff, now was dreaded and dyed bright orange.
Wow. This poodle snake was looking snappy. The Big Hairy Nose was also not doing too badly, because it had discovered the poodle snake, it was now getting a big portion of the poodle snake's earnings. It was also looking hot. He wore orange tinted sunglasses and he had died his nose-hairs purple.
This was a big thing to happen to such a small town. Someone even bought the movie rights to the hairy nose's story. Oh dear. That night the town entered into the hairy nose era at exactly 11:46pm. Suddenly everyone had a hairy nose, and the Big Hairy Nose became the most successful nose ever to walk the planet. But what happened to the poodle snake? It had faded from the magazines and the papers as quickly as it had exploded into them. And the poodle snake was cursing the day it had signed the contract with the Big Hairy Nose, because now it was getting all the poodle snake's earnings as well as its own.
There is no moral to this story, except that you should never trust a hairy nose.
This chapter is dedicated to the memory of that certain poodle snake.