| THE WORLD'S MOST INTENSE POLICE VIDEOS |
| THE WORLD'S MOST INTENSE POLICE VIDEOS |
| Your host: John Bunnell's Jaw (retd.) |
| Hello, I'm Sheriff John Bunnell's Jaw. Welcome to another exciting edition of THE WORLD'S MOST INTENSE POLICE VIDEOS, baby! Er, sorry. When criminals steal... when criminals joyride... when criminals moon... the law is always waiting for them. These crooks are all about to get a lesson... in justice, baby! (sorry.) NOTE: ALL THE VIDEOS YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE TONIGHT ARE GENUINEly exciting. |
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| 18/10/96 BUTT SPRINGS, OHIO "Here we see a terrible warning of what can happen if you're running late for Halloween with a plastic skeleton strapped to your roof. One lapse of concentration (in this case looking at the flying squadron to his right - look you can see the driver's big nose glancing at them!) and this guy's gone and crashed into a fallen defence satellite. This man was hoping to be spooked for Halloween... Now he'll be spooked... IN JAIL." |
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| 23/25/82 CHLOROPHYLL PASS, CALIFORNIA "UH-OH! Some idiot, no doubt a shoplifter, has left his bicycle on the train track! No wonder the hummingbird is confused - she doesn't know what to do in this situation and is also undergoing emotional stress due to her babies being shot by rangers. Luckily, the police came in time and moved the bicycle before anything happened, ever. That shoplifter was probably off to steal some... er... clocks, but now he'll be doing some 'time' of his own... BEHIND BARS." |
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| 16/45/288 PREPUCE VALLEY, ARIZONA "Well, once again, the police prove that they'll always get their man, or in this case, driver. You join us in a high-speed chase through the desert as the cops not only tail a suspect efficiently, but intimidate him legitimately. As you can see, the suspect is so scared, he's actually driven off the bottom of the frame, which is incredible, really. Er... no doubt he was off to steal a miniature toy prison for his son or daughter, but now he'll be in... REAL PRISON. Bastard." |
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| No matter where criminals strike... Where crooks pounce... Where juvenile delinquents smoke substances of dubious legality... Where are my keys... Where idiots throw stones at trains... Wherever... The cops will always be there. Let this be a warning to you, baby. I'm John Bunnell's Jaw... GOODNIGHT. |