 |
| A DAY IN THE LIFE... |
| Yes, welcome to the page on PLANET MORON where we follow celebrities round to see what they're doing, or something. Sounds boss, doesn't it? We like to call it... |
| TODAY... CHRISTOPHER WALKEN! 8:00 am - Christopher Walken wakes up. He rubs his eyes and looks out the window at some cats on some dustbins. He shouts at them, violently. "HEY, YOU SONS-OF-BOTCHES! If you don't get away from those bins, I swear, I will pick you up by your stupid facking whiskers and throw you into an incinerator. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" The cats meow back. 10:00 am - We join Christopher as he goes to buy a paper. On the way, he spots a cyclist having trouble with his bike. He accidentally squirts oil on Christopher. Instantaneously, Christopher pins the cyclist against the wall. "Listen, you funk, I think you did that on purpose and I don't like that. Now, because I'm in a good mood, I'm not gonna kill you. But I am going to cause you extreme pain, just because you are a conk sucker." Christopher picks up the cyclist and throws him into a ravine. 12:00 pm - Christopher has lunch in a cafe. A waitress gives him the wrong sandwich. Christopher stands up. "Now wait one funking moment! I ordered a BLT and I will get a BLT!" Christopher draws a gun on a nearby diner. "If I don't get a BLT, I will kill this motherfunker! I will shoot straight down his funking throat, and out his ass, so he won't be able to take a shit without asking for planning permission first. Understand?" Christopher gets his BLT. 3:00 pm - Christopher returns home, having caused serious injuries to three motorists, two mechanics and a car full of nuns. It has been a good day. 6:30 pm - Christopher has dinner, then goes to the cinema. He dislikes the movie. "This movie has been made by funking bastard conksuckers! If this movie does not get switched off very soon, I will start shooting every son-of-a-bitch in this movie house one-by-one until it does!" The movie is switched off. Disappointed, Christopher shoots the wall a few times. 10:30 pm - Bedtime. Christopher addresses the camera. "So, there you go, viewers. I hope you enjoyed my day, but I have to go to bed early tonight because I have to give a speech at a peace conference tomorrow. Well, goodnight!" Another day in the life... |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|