| At home with the Butchers |
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| No matter what 'appens you can't change family, Gawd knows I've tried, but no-one wanted Ricky or Janine (no surprises there) . I'm an old fashioned kind of guy............in that I'll shag anything in a skirt, and therefore I have many kids (money-sucking bastards.........they all take after their father). Anyhow there's umm 3 no hang on there's that other one aswell who we never see what's her name uhh Carol, no Claire that's it, yeah I lumbered Janine on her for a while (and with that arse that's some lumbering), and of course Ricky, Janine and Diane (God knows where she is), oh and that weird kid who I had during me breakdown (yeah it was so torturous that I was forced to get a fine young bird pregnant) anyhow that makes five, although I wouldn't be surprised if half the inhabitants of the square weren't my kids |
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| Daughter: Janine Butcher Thank God I've finally gotten rid of this one. the biggest pain in the arse in history, she was always nicking my money, so I had to give her a slap. for some reason she keeps following me round like some lost dog (damn right).... it's sad really I've told her time and time again look just cos I'm your father don't mean I like ya, it just means I liked your mother. Seems after I left she went a bit mad, and ended up taking drugs and becoming a whore, then living with Billy Mitchell. Ricky's had to go back to help her out. Well there's no way I'm leaving my villa to go help some renegade little slut out.......... unless there's a shag in it for me, and given that she's my daughter that's out of the question. |
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| Daughter: Diane Butcher God knows where to start with this one. Let's see she came to the square then she went to France, then she came back and had a kid, then she buggered off some where again. Well she takes after me then, at least one of the kids has learned well. Seriously though, If you've seen her give me a bell ,cos I ain't seen her for what three years something like that, I thought she was only going down to the shops, and I'm still waiting for her to come back. She's also the best looking of my kids....... although that's like saying France is the best country in......... well France. |
| Son : Ricky Butcher Well here he is my son, and heir apparent to the Butcher throne. This boy is stupid with a capital stoo, don't get me wrong he is my son and yes I do kind of love him in a father son sort of way... you know not gay like. Anyway let's face it he ain't the brightest star in the sky, so it weren't surprising he married a mouthy ginger slapper. I trained him up for years, taught him how to haggle, how to steal, how to have countless affairs and a breakdown. I thought he was set to carry on the Butcher legacy, but then he marries a ginge and buggers it all up. I suppose they suit each other in a way, cos let's face it they don't suit anyone else. I just want to slap him everytime I see him. I can't believe that when he finally got rid of that screaming ginger bitch, the first thing he did was chase after her. Ahh well.........he's back in the square now sorting out his slut of a sister (why bother that's what I say, once a Butcher, always a slut). |
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| It takes alot to make me cry.... but. |
| Don't she look like me??? |
| Janine practises her best bulldog chewing a wasp impression |
| Daughter : Claire Butcher As far as I'm aware the oldest of the family Butcher, but you never know I mean I did get araaand alot and I mean alot, so who knows. Anyway don't ask me about her 'cos I haven't seen her for over ten years, but she is good for dumping Janine on, Oh and I could stay with her when I visit...... well I don't actually know where she lives, but she's a lovely girl with hair all.... okay I don't know what she looks like, but what do you expect I'm only her father, what do you expect me to do, care or something, paah didn't my guide to life teach you anything? |
| Son: 'Bugger knows' Butcher At the bottom of my heart lies the darkest of secrets. Whilst I was having my breakdown, I scarpered, uh I mean I travelled to Manchester. There I met a young bird who was called, well I forget but you know I was 'aving a breakdown. Mind you I still managed to find the hole, know what I'm saying, I tell you a Butcher's lethal from ten inches.... wa hey. Anyhow after that little union this kid was the result. I don't know his name and I've never met him but I'll try and get an artists impression up soon |
| No pictures of these two ,but who knows in the future, they might even show up on the square you never do know, I suppose it depends how desperate the Eastenders script-writers get |
| wow oh wow, we just got an exclusive artists impression of my Twin sister, click on it to meet her |