Painted lips speak to me, I hear no sound.
My mind is sunk in my desire.
Memories of past moments shared between lovers,
before the estrangement.
Her body, silhouetted in the black she wears
now forbidden fruit. Which I dare not partake.
Still beckons me, come hither !! Taunting me.
I, like Adam and his apple, drop reason
in pursuit of companionship.
Leaving the wise and prudent choice,
opting instead to relish temptation.
Screaming inside its concrete prison,
reinforced by iron bars and heavy chains,
the exiled banshee of my passions
rattles the windows intentionally placed there,
so I could still have the pleasure of looking.
Foolishly I stand at the door,
holding the key to free it in my hand.
Staring, Hovering, Relishing, Caressing.
Fully aware of what I am doing to myself,
yet not wanting to put it down and walk away.
Relishing memories, fantasies and visions
of past, present and future days
when this beast that dwells within my bosom
will no longer be bestial.
I will watch her all the day long,
each thing that she says reminds me,
each breath that she takes excites me,
each movement she makes taunts me.
Bringing to light that which I have squandered,
at the altar of selfishness and self indulgence.
Whose gods recognize no sacrifice,
because none such exists in their worship.
She knowingly smiles, fully aware of what she is doing,
cognizant of my torture.
Basking in her new found sense of power and control.
ODE To BEAUTY
Do you have any idea? ...
How beautiful I think you are? Inside and out.
The thrill I feel when I look at you.
The solace it brings me to talk to you.
How much I love to hold you?
tightly...absorbing your embrace yet,
wanting you closer, closer still.
Till your warmth convects my heart.
Do You have any Idea ?
The peace i feel when we touch?
the soothing effect of your skin under my fingers.
Your softness washing over me , providing harmony.
The sanctuary I find lying next to you at night?
I close my eyes and find safety, shelter, and comfort.
Protection from the evil that surrounds me, closing in on me. The safe harbor of your body provides the breakwater
that calms the tempest.
Not just your body, your essence,
Which your body represents, but cannot fully encompass.
The wealth of your spirit, the depth of your soul
the purity of your intent, the reaches of intelligence
...all hold me captive and frighten me in equal parts.
Seductively drawing me to you,
while equally making me wish to run from you.
Do you have any idea?
How the curves of your body excite me?
Making my heart race and my skin goosebumpy
and the hair on my arms stand tall and strait.
I struggle for air as my stomach hollows,
and my bosom fills with the possibility of believing
that I might be the one you love.
How the taste of your lips calms me? Puts my fears to rest, relieves my stress, fills me with hope and faith. Ushering in the belief, like in a fairy tale, that true love can conquer all.
Do I have any idea?
The depth of my transgression against you ?
The vastness of your pains.
The limit of your forgiveness.
The grievousness of my callous selfishness.
Must each day bring greater torment, tears and regret,
sorrow and suffering...Anguish and anxiety.
The thought that you would never do anything
intentionally to hurt me.
is followed by its brother, who tells me
you cannot possibly share a similar thought.
I watch the sun pierce the rain clouds,
sending forth the promise of a new day,
and I pray....I pray to God that he can forgive me,
and show you how to as well.
And that together, you will help me be a better husband
well, that didnt happen LOL -ed
wait, theres more (page 2)....
Looking back across the days,
the memories flow back in waves.
The happy times of love and peace.
The rough times when the storms increased.
And yet have we come to the day,
where there's nothing left to say.
I can't believe it's true,
yet there's nothing left to do,
but bury what was me and you.
Is there really nothing left to say?
I have wanted so much to show you
the things I have locked up inside.
To run with you through the valleys of my emotions,
to share with you the peaks of my soul,
to sit at your feet and learn from your wisdom,
to nibble on ice cream cone.
Yet now I stand alone,
with nothing but empty wishes and broken pride,
Lost in the world that rises to kill me,
thrown listless through the endless days,
calling out for help and safety.....
Finding nothing left to say.
Like a ship with out an anchor floating in a restless sea,
like a supernova flaming out it's last universal plea,
like a man whose life is shambled and left holding just one key, to the person locked inside him calling out "come rescue me" !!!
Is there nothing left to say
Is there nothing left to say
I need you now more than ever,
I need you now and forever.
There is no better late than never.
All that I am and want to be is screaming out from inside me
that there is a better way. The voices in my head are pleading don't let there be nothing left to say...
I've said all I have today.
I have nothing more to say
INSANITY
"to continue to do the same thing and expect different results is pure insanity".......einstein
When did the caring stop?
why did the kindness end ?
where did we leave each other ?
how did I lose a friend ?
when did we stop liking each other?
why is it falling apart ?
where is patience and forgiveness?
How did i lose my sweetheart ?
Acts of betrayal and anger
just hiding the hurt in our eyes
false fruits of goodness and caring
the obsession of self sacrifice
How two people can claim
to have given so much to the other
and yet both end up feeling used
or does the culture of victimization
force us to cry :"i was abused"
OR
is it just another inning
of our rediculous game
we may have changes rules, ball or arenas
but, the competition remains the same
WELL, i don't want this, I never did
i'm so tired of playing with you.
you shrugg your shoulders, sigh and cry,
you're tired of playing too !!!"
" You'll stop playing, Great" you say,
"I'm glad... this game is the worst"
I shrugg my shoulders, sigh and cry
"NO, you stop playing first"
Caring, Kindness, Friendship, Love and Thougtfulness are GONE
here we stand, face to face
and the game keeps playing on,