Page 2...from the demise of a relationship
Once Upon A TIME
There was a time once, when love was new,
and trust was given freely, not earned.
When smiles were requited.
Care was ever present, and hope was alive.
There was a time once when new life cried,
we smiled and laughed, and danced and prayed.
Forever lived in that day.
There was a time once when distance grew,
Patience wore thin and jealously began to nurture.
The poison of self-indulgence In the name of sacrifice.
Then came the time when the fog rolled in
and obscured the path to each other.
We lost our way......
Wandering onto dark paths,
Falling in muddy rivers,
Cast about by rushing waters
Into sharp rocks or jagged cliffs.
Stumbling across the pitfalls
we had placed for the other to fall in.
Then came the time When I defiled myself,
and became that
which I feared most that I might become.
You felt no recourse But to flee.
There was a time once
when I believed you would never hurt me intentionally.
Now, I see you standing
above my broken, torn and bleeding body.
Knife in one hand, and a mallet in the other.
I hear your mocking laughter,
and I find myself Clenching my own weapons
preparing to hurl them in return.
Here I lay, beaten, yet still breathing.
Left for dead .
Clinging desperately to the memory
Of once upon a time.
I wonder, if I ever heal enough To move again,
Will I just turn the page?
Or try to finish Once upon a time
We're not Friends
How dare you ask me... With that innocent smile,
Unassuming sweetness, the charm.
Undetectable to my radar,
So that I let my guard down, for a moment.
Then you ask me out..... As old friends, just friends.
" Its something I think we'd both enjoy,
Two people having a good time together "
Friends, with common interests
NO!!!
We're not friends
. Here, this is yours.
The handle is very beautiful,
you must have spent a long time on it.
Amazing detail, wonderful carvings,
Incredible craftsmanship.
Quite remarkable, really, I didn't think you had it in you.
I was wrong, one more time.
That blade is so sharp;
I barely even felt it penetrate until it was too late.
The sting so focused and precise,
It took me a while before I even noticed I was wounded.
You are a true artist.
I need to sit down, Catch my breath.
YET,
There is something very familiar about this blade.
I hold it, struggling for air,
pondering whether to give it back to you,
or plunge it into you.
It feels strangely comfortable in my hand.
I have held it before.
My fingers wrap around it exactly.
Hmmmm, I recognize that carving.
Could it be this was once my knife?
On closer examination, this is an old knife.
Tired and worn, yet fresh with new engravings.
Elegant, refined, antiquated,
yet ugly, cynical and fatal.
We have worked on this for a long time, You and I
.... Refining our art, perfecting our handiwork.
Until finally we have a beautiful but deadly knife,
And the wounds it has created.
NO,
We are not friends, We are bitter warriors.
Still fighting a battle long since over,
Determined to be the last one standing
i dont know if i'm right or wrong
to demand recognition of my pain
maybe if i let it go. it won't come back again
I thought I had, i tried it once
and told you it was gone
but I find it keeps creeping back
Like weeds in our front lawn
DOES IT HAVE TO BE RECOGNIZED?
DOES IT HAVE TO BE AUTHORIZED?
DOES IT HAVE TO BE VALIDATED?
I offered you forgiveness once
if I recall you laughed
"for what, I've done nothing to you
you blame me for sins on your behalf"
I WANT RECOGNITION
I WANT AUTHORIZATION
I WANT VALIDATION
I am the one who's life has declined
I'm the one seeing a shrink
I am the one who tried to fill the void
chasing after the pink
I am the one who has made the more visible mistake
no one sees the rampant selfishness
that left me in your wake
So its not wrong to demand recognition
but what will you recognize ?
That I am the one who is easy going
and you have incredible drive?
That I am the one who is happy with nothing
and you need much more to get by
Or I am the one who gives up to easy
while you give the old college try ??
OR maybe the truth we are searching for
the only truth we will find
Is that you are the one who ever so quickly
would walk off and leave me behind.
Happy Ending
They are finally united, the young dreamers.
She a would be princess, he of noble birth.
They kiss, and love blooms through the hills
Tranquility rests on the earth.
They ride off into the sun, a picture perfect ending And live happily, ever after. I still believe in that.
SO, maybe for me
things haven't been all that smooth.
There has been some heartache and hardship, Fires, droughts, rain and tragedy, all sorts of calamity. Lots of bumps and bruises, and ugliness
But when I look back, I see roses
sprouting up from the ashes,
Beauty and Peace, Hope and joy.
A ray of sun shines down
through those sliver lined puffy things that just dumped on me
Tranquility rests on the earth.
and beauty..
Beauty in self-expression.
Peace in the hug of a 5 year old.
Hope in a smile
Joy in friendship
So my story isn't a fairy tale;
Then again, Cinderella was a tortured maid.
Snow white was buried alive....
Sleeping Beauty, well, I don't even want to talk about it . What if they all switched places?
Would there still be happily ever after?
What if, a few years later,
Cinderella didn't like her prince?
Snow White grew tired of hers?
Snow White wanted to find herself ?
Could they switch? Would it matter?
Would fairy tale land be in upheaval?
Or would the story just go on with a new chapter?
I think it would. Because even
though Cinderella had her fairy god mother,
Snow White had her dream,
and Sleeping Beauty knew her prince would come someday,
Thier belief wasn't in some unobtainable something,
It was in themselves, what they could create.
And it carried them through the dark times,
So they could get to the happy ending.
So, like them, I carry on.......Talking with deer, dancing with the birds and singing in the wishing well . Because I still believe in the happy ending.