|
Love Song -- Part 1 Ah ok. This is my first fic (don't be too harsh... I don't write very often...). I couldn't figure out a title, so if anyone has suggestions, tell me :P I need some critiquing on it too... It's a bit crap... but anyway. If anyone likes it, I'll get around to working on part 2... ---------- Title: ??? Author: Meg. Rating: ah. PG-13, I suppose. Disclaimer: I don't own Placebo, blah blah blah, I have no proof that any of this really happened, yadda yadda yadda. You know the routine. ------------ Brian watched Stefan with adoring eyes from backstage. Watching Stef play was a favourite pastime of Brian's. Brian was fascinated with the way Stef carried himself. Every motion seemed perfect. Stef turned his eyes towards the stage wings, and flashed a brilliant smile at Brian. Brian smiled back, while he felt a knot form in his stomach. The band were rehearsing for a gig later that night. Steve sat behind his drums, drinking from a water bottle. Stef plucked at his bass. Brian suddenly felt incredibly overwhelmed and escaped out of the venue. Once outside, he retreated down the alley next to the club. He sank to the dirty pavement, and clumsily lit a cigarette. He was trying to hold back his tears, but they came anyway. Every day, Brian's longing for Stef grew stronger, even though Brian was constantly telling himself Stef was the one person he could never have. No, it could ruin the whole band. He wanted to get over Stef so badly, but it was too hard. It wasn't a schoolboy crush. No, this was more. Brian was positive that he was in love. He cried himself dry, and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He hadn't bothered with makeup that morning, he saw no point in it. So he didn't have to worry about mascara streaks. He took one last drag from his cigarette, and threw the butt on the ground. He rose unsteadily to his feet and returned to the club, picked up his guitar and headed onstage. Stefan looked at him curiously, sensing something was wrong, but said nothing. Brian felt a pang of pain in his heart, but burst into a rendition of Nancy Boy as if he were the happiest man alive. If only it were true... ******** Stefan plucked out the notes to Nancy Boy, watching Brian carefully. His gut told him Brian was upset, but his eyes told him otherwise. Stef always went with intuition, he could always count on it. But something also told him that Brian's inner pain went deeper than he could possible perceive. Something was gnashing away at his very being, and it was growing worse every day. Brian sensed Stef's gaze, and looked over, but diverted his eyes quickly. Stef had been noticing lately that Brian wouldn't look him in the eye. Stef knitted his eyebrows. He couldn't understand why, communication always had been good between them. He glanced back at Steve and mouthed the words, "We need to talk." Steve cocked his head to side curiously at first, but nodded. Stef hit the final note of the song and headed off quickly towards the stage wings, dropping his bass behind him. Steve stumbled awkwardly from the drumset and caught up to Stef. Stef turned around to make sure Brian had gone to the other side of the stage. "This way," Stef said, leading Steve into the hallway. "What's going on? What's wrong?" Steve began a barrage of questions. "Listen, something's wrong. With Brian," Stef began. He saw Steve's facial expression change from angry confusion to genuine concern. The mention of Brian's name always makes Steve get all father-like, kind of mushy , thought Stef, amused. "What? Brian? Is he dying? Hurt? What?!" Steve asked. "No...no, physically he's fine. But I just can tell...something's really bothering him. We need to find out what it is." Steve ran his hands through his dark, unruly hair, and chuckled to himself. "Good Lord, Stef. Just because he looks a little sad..." "Christ, Steve. I can tell when something's really wrong with Brian!" Stef whined almost childishly. He hated how Steve could be so patronizing at times. "Listen, he's probably just broken up with his partner-of-the-week or something and is being all melodramatic. Let him go, he'll be fine," Steve said, and he walked back to the stage wings. Stef watched Steve with contempt. How could he be so oblivious? Stef let out an exasperated sigh and walked into the stage wings, picked up his bass, and resumed practice. ******** Brian gladly welcomed the end of rehearsal. Anything to get away from the strain of his attraction to Stefan. God, he just needed to get away. And that he did. He walked down the deserted roads towards the nearest bar. The bar was a sleazy place. Brian couldn't look 5 feet in front of him because of all the cigarette smoke. But a bar is a bar, and all Brian could think about is getting something, anything, to drink. He found his way to the bar counter and ordered a Bloody Mary. While he waited he lit a cigarette and began to think. But that action was quickly wiped away when his drink arrived. He downed it and ordered another. Several drinks later, he felt strong hands pull him off the bar stool. Brian heard a masculine voice address him. "That's enough Brian. No more drinks." He couldn't distinguish whose voice it was. He turned towards the figure grasping his shoulders and just barely made out the image of Steve. Brian began half-laughing, half-crying. "One more drink...please? Just one...," he began, but then started wretching. Steve sighed and propped Brian up on his arm and led him out of the bar and into the street. Once outside, Brian began emptying his stomach of everything he had consumed. Steve supported him, keeping his small frame from crumpling to the ground. "Sleep... take me home Steve, I want to sleep," Brian slurred when he was finished. "That was my intention," Steve mumbled. He hailed a taxi cab and helped Brian into the car, and got in himself. ******** Steve walked out of the club just in time to see Brian escape into a small bar. Though tempted to go after him, Steve shook his head and went back inside to gather his things. After all, one drink wasn't going to hurt Bri, right? He soon realized he was wrong when Brian didn't return. Steve groaned. Once again, he was the one that had to go retrieve Brian from the bar. He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the venue towards the bar. He could feel the general dirtiness of the bar from down the street. He could smell the smoke, hear the music and talking. It became increasingly unpleasant as he drew nearer. Steve entered the bar. He waved back clouds of smoke to reveal Brian's small figure hunched over in the bar stool, several empty glasses in front of him. Steve shook his head and made his way over to Brian. A series of events later, Steve found Brian and himself stuffed into a cab, driving towards the hotel. Much to Steve's dismay, Brian fell asleep on his shoulder. Steve didn't want to carry Brian inside, but he wrapped his arm around Brian and held him for the rest of the ride. When they reached the hotel, Steve paid the driver and carefully lifted Brian out of the car, cradling him like a child so as not to wake him. The doorman looked at Steve curiously but opened the hotel door. Steve managed to make it to Bri's room without stirring him. Steve entered and put Brian down on the bed and covered him. He made sure a bottle of aspirin and some water were by the bedside table. He then left. ******** Stef couldn't think. He paced the sitting room in his hotel suite impatiently. Steve had told him how Brian went and got himself drunk. Again. Third time this week. Stef made up his mind to go see Bri. See if he was doing OK. He didn't want to have to cancel the gig that night. Stef walked down the hallway towards Brian's suite. He knocked, but no one answered. Not a sound came from behind the door. Stef debated whether or not to go in anyway. "Ah, what the Hell," he muttered to himself and opened the door. He saw Brian curled up in the large bed. Stef chuckled to himself. Brian looked like a little boy in such a huge bed. He walked over the bedside and lovingly stroked Brian's cheek. He loved him so much. Suddenly Stef heard Brian groan and begin to stir. Stefan quickly made his way over to the door, until he heard Brian roar. He sighed and turned back towards the bed. "Christ!" Brian began cursing loudly. His eyes were clamped shut, he had one hand on his forehead, the other on his stomach. He opened one eye slightly and saw Stef. "Never...let...me...drink...again." Stef sighed again. "I'll try." He looked over at the bedside table. He saw the aspirin and water, and chuckled lightly. Steve always was thinking ahead. Stef handed Bri two of the aspirin and the glass. ******** Brian seemed to have recover the most part for the gig. He had opted for sunglasses that night. Although their performance was good, Stef could feel Brian's pain again. Despite his light and carefree nature, there was something dark beneath it. Stefan's heart ached. He wanted to be able to reach out and touch Brian's shoulder, as if it would heal him. But he sensed that it would make things worse. After the gig, Stefan watched Brian from the wings. A single tear lingered in the outer corner of his eye. He wished with all his heart that he could help Bri. Every motion sent a dagger into Stefan's heart, every look, every word. It was unbearable to be so shut out... Prev | Next Home |