Greetings to All of our fellow Yehat Brothers!!
Once Again we invite you all to attend a meeting of the Society for the Advancement of the P.K.U.N.K. (Psychic and Karmic Unity through New-age Knowledge). All are welcome to any of the local rallies in your area, and there will of course be food and DRINKS (lots of drinks). The Poot-Worm is in the Third House of the 17th Plateau of IB, and the Festival promises to be quite a Cosmic event. There are several transmigrations being planned, so a good time is guaranteed for all. Peace and Love be to All of You, and may the Intergalactic Oneness which permeates all things, both living and not living be embraced by all who attend. For those of you who are unable to attend, there will be video copies available at all Spacki's Crystal Shops locations. The Festival begins promptly at...(looks into the air next to him) What? Oh, very well...The Festival starts when the Ritual Tattooing of the Quarnac is completed.
Felicitations and Various other Appropriate Forms of Salutation!!
We would like to thank all those who participated in last nights celebration of the Poot-Worms Unity with the P.K.U.N.K. Of course, We are One with the Poot-Worm, and since We are One with You, then You are One with the Poot-Worm. All Hail the Poot-Worm!! Hail the Unity that is the most Essential Element to Peaceful Coexistance between the Noble Yehat, and We (the Enlightened Yehat) the Noble P.K.U.N.K. We have many...What? Why do you always interrupt me when I'm in the middle of something important like...Yes, Yes, I will. I will so!! Would you please let me finish!! Very well. I have become recently aware of a Stirring in the Psychic Ether. Apparently,...Do you mind? As I was saying, apparently we are in for a big surprise!! Joy and Jubilation!! We are Overjoyed to know of this impending Cosmic Event. We wait with jittering trepidation for the Universe to present us with this...A what? Really? Bursting Flames of Happiness!! We are in for a "Routing!!" What a Routing is, I have no idea, but it sounds like fun!!...Oh. We are going on a Spiritual Journey, with the assistance of our Brothers the Royalist Yehat....It's a what? Yes well, a Journey is a Journey no matter what the reason for it. Rejoice Brothers and Sisters!! We are soon to be on our way!! Thanks to our Friends and Neighbors, the Slightly Irritated and Moderately Well Armed Royalist Yehat.
Greetings and Salutations Brothers and Sisters of Supreme Enlightenment!!
We are preparing Fervently for our Impending Journey, and what a Joyous Excursion it promises to be!! We have been receiving many Strange and Wonderful Visions of Great and Mysterious Portent. We have...Oh what is it now? Oh really? That much eh? What? What!? Do speak up, and stop muttering!! Yes, yes, I will. I said I will!! Now, back to business. We are preparing to meet at the third space port, on the third Island of Mancor, underneath the Shadow of the Mystical Pyramid of our Great and Wise Founder, Sid. The first Yehat to fully realize how Shallow and Empty his meager existance really was, without a Deep and Fulfilling Spiritual Kinship with all things. It is with the memory of his Noble Stoning (while passing out leaflets) that we embark upon our most Rapturous Journey. Hail Sid!! Hail the Poot-Worm!! Hail Spacki's Crystal Shops for providing us with the air-time needed to bring you these most important news bulletins!! That's Spacki's Crystal Shops, located throughout the Tri-Cliff Area.
Greetings Brothers and Sisters of the P.K.U.N.K.!!
It is with Eternally Expanding Bladders of Contentment that I announce the Impending Departure time of the "Pkunk" Enlightenment Fleet. We are nearly finished with our preparations for take-off, and we have already gathered a tremendous number of Poot-Worms for the Trip. They shall of course serve as our Inspiration in the coming trials, which all new...Oh, now what is it? Couldn't you, just once, wait for me to finish a broadcast without interrupting me halfway thr...Are you kidding? You're Not? Brothers and Sisters, I have been told that the optimal time for our departure will be when the Tiranor is in the Fifth House of Zinbar. That's five more days for those of you who are new recruits. This fits in perfectly with our Campaign to Blanket All Major Population Centers with Literature and Videos explaining our Superior Spiritual Enlightenment, and how our Doctrine can give their Empty Little Lives Meaning.
(20 minutes later)
It appears that our Royalist Yehat Brethren are so Excited about our Impending Spiritual Journey that they have decided to urge us on our way. In other words, They've Formed Mobs and are Chasing Us towards the Spaceport. I urge you to proceed with all haste to the Fleet Ships, but Please continue to pass out as much Literature as possible, as you tactically withdraw. We have...Again? What now? Oh.
RRRUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This of course is brought to you by Spacki's Crystal Shops. Nevermind. Here he comes now. (Pkunk flocks fill the "Journey Ships," as Yehat citizens pelt them with stones, video equipment, whatever isn't bolted down) Yet the Pkunk don't lift off yet.
(The following was taken from the Pkunk Ships' recorders)
Well, now that we've begun our Long Awaited Journey of Spiritual Exploration and Personal Discovery, there is only one more issue to be addressed. Where are we going? Does anyone have any suggestions? We were considering going in a sort of "up" direction, when we were uh...'hastened' on our way, but we didn't get a chance to finalize our plans. Still, this is a journey into the Unknown, so why don't we just ask our Spirit Guides who delight in giving us Advise and Spiritual Guidance? O.K. Spirits, let's have it. where do we go from here? ...................Hello?................Are you there Spirits?............That's just Great! For Goodness Sake, you're always interrupting me when I'm in the middle of something important, and when I need you for something really important, your not there. Well, perhaps this is a test. Yes, that's it!! Joy and Rambunctious Adulation!! We are being given our first True Test!! Now, about this whole Destination Thing. How about Up? Any objections to Up? No? Well then it's settled, we'll go Up. Or maybe Left. Yes, that's it!! Left!! We'll go Left!! Joy of Joys!! The Poot-Worm has shown us the way. We shall go Left, just as he is currently going Left. Hail to the Poot-Worm for his Divine Inspiration!! Hail to the Yehat for their Energetic Encouragement!! Hail to Sid, for being stoned to Death so close to the Spaceport!!
The Pkunk Fleet lifts off and sets course for Gamma Krueger. (that pretty star over there to the Left) As they lift off, they also Bless the Yehat with the remaining leaflets, by ejecting them out the airlocks onto the downtown areas. |
