Pacey's Journal, Entry Five
Doug was right. At the end of it all I'm alone. No Dawson, and no Joey. I
risked everything to love her, and she walked away from me. I don't know
which is worse the fact that she walked away from me, or the fact that she
walked away from me because of Dawson. I knew it was going to end like this
the second she followed him into the house. In that split second she made
her choice, and it wasn't me. It was him.
Dawson overreacted just like I knew he would. Don't get me wrong, I didn't
expect him to congratulate us or anything, but the way he dismissed the
possibility of us being in love hurt. Like no one but him is allowed to love
Joey, and of course Pacey the slacker, sex crazed, jerk isn't capable of
loving. He treats her like she is his property. She's Dawson's Joey. Hell
even I thought that, but then I discovered she was more than that. She just
wasn't Dawson's Joey, she was Joey Potter this extraordinary, intelligent,
beautiful girl, and I fell in love with her. Man, I was such a fool to ever
hope that we could ever equal the epic proportions of her and Dawson. I'll
always be in his shadow. I'll always be the sidekick. I'll always be the
second choice.
I waited for her at True Love. Part of me didn't want her to show up,
because I knew it was over. The other part of me needed her to show up.
Needed her to know that's where I would be. She knew, and proceeded to rip
my heart out. I told her to leave hoping she wouldn't. That she would stay
and fight for what we have, what we had, but she didn't she just walked away.
She just walked away.
Entry Six
