Pacey's Journal, Entry Four
True Love. The christening is today. To be precise it's in about an hour.
Dawson insisted I do this. He's even bringing the bubbly. He's being such a
great friend right now, and honestly I wish he wasn't. It would make telling
him about Jo and me so much easier. I know it's wrong to think like that.
Dawson is my best friend, the person who has always believed in me, and
supported me. I wasn't lying when I told Doug he was the brother I never
had. How can I do this to him?
Joey. That's why. God, this past week has been like my own personal heaven.
The fact that I get to hold her in my arms, and kiss her, among other
things, is still unbelievable to me. I keep waiting to wake up, fearing I
will wake up, but I reach out and I feel her skin beneath my hands and know
it's not a dream. She should be here any minute now. She's coming early so
we can have some time alone together.
Alone. Always alone. We keep sneaking around behind everyone's back. Every
day we say we have to tell Dawson, but every day slips by and we don't. It's
the only black spot on an otherwise perfect week. Being with Joey is
unbelievable, and amazing, but there is this guilt attached to it. Guilt
over Dawson. We have to tell him. We can't keep sneaking around. I don't
want to keep sneaking around.
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. There is the real
possibility I will lose my best friend. I mean I don't want to lose Dawson,
but I can't lose Joey, especially not now that I know she has feelings for
me. I never thought falling in love would be so painful.
Entry Five
