Oats Dispersal
Wilford dreams of re-making the world in his own elderly image. A world where everyone eats nothing but oats and makes bad movies with Steve Guttenburg. You don't even want to know about the dress code he has in mind...
Mr. Brimley has amassed an unholy army of the undead to protect his grainy empire. You would think that since grains are used to make the crust of pizzas, he would be more than willing to allow them into his new world order. But you would be wrong. Dead wrong.
Pizza represents the hopes and dreams of humanity. To take over the world, Wilford must stamp out all of the light on the planet. Then, when the people are weak and pizza-deprived, he will institute his master plan. Code-named LETEO (or, LEt Them Eat Oats), Mr. Brimley's minions will deliver oats to the huddled masses, along with small pamphlets telling them to abandon their old lives and worship him as their new god.
Folks, I can say without hyperbole that this scenario is worse than WWII, Vietnam, and The Return of the Jedi combined. We must not let this dark future come to pass. But the road will be long, and the obstacles many...
