The most patriotic movies ever made.:Upon seeking out Ain't It Cool News, one saw that Harry Knowles used the gimmick of listing ten movies which represent America the most. While I had no problem with most of the choices, there are of course some true classics that represent the U.S in the best of ways. Here is my list of the True American Movies! Alone In The Dark- What movie represents sexual desires more then Tara Reid as an anthropologist who can't even pronounce the country Chile right? (This is obvious burn, many other reviewers have pointed this out) Nothing represents the American spirit quite like the need for hot chicks who are dumber then your average box of hammers. I mean any liberal male will tell you that feminism is all fine and dandy, except when it gets in the way of a one night stand. Also who doesn't like a blonde chick who can't pronounce countries and without fail, barely knows the ABCs. A true American tradition if there ever was one... American Kickboxer 1- Another tradition of American movies is that if you can't be the first one to come up with an idea, just go and take the easy way out. Doing it half assed is certainly the American way to do things (Homer Simpsons said so) and American Kickboxer 1 is a fine example of a genre that pulls no punches in delivering the most heartfelt rip offs of the genre ever made. It also shows that sometimes if you make something of less quality maybe they won't notice, for instance we couldn't get Sylvester Stallone to pump his fists so let's get a lookalike named John Barrett, let's have him train and regain his title after his fall from grace and say let's have him fight someone foreign because we all know that America never tolerates a loser. A truly inspirational flick for plagarists who need inspiration diverted from their not so fresh sources. Invasion USA- "America wasn't ready but he was!" Man alive is there anything greater in American tradition then not wanting immigrants in our country? Invasion USA is certainly full of fireballs and fight sequences but it's more telling just who is trying to invade the US of A. The movie first of all starts off with the slaughter of Cuban immigrants fresh of the boat, after the bad guys are done introducing themselves as the U.S coastguard they then sprayed immigrants with bullets after saying in spanish "Welcome to the United States!" However what is more telling is that the bad guys in this movie are very ethnic. We get Asian, Russian, Irish, Hispanic, Black and of course the liberals who want to get in our hero's way. The setting is all subtle such as how the immigrants want to destory our children, our homes (On Christmas Eve no less!) , our churches and especially our shopping malls. These immigrants are everywhere and the movie says that what we need is whitebread heroics of an American to mow them all down. This is an action flick which represents a nation tired of it's (hispanic) immigrants and so on. Invasion USA asks to go one step further instead of the torch that the Statue of Liberty carried, should be changed to an uzi and "give me your poor" should be replaced with "Get the hell out of dodge!" Invasion USA represents an attitude that only our country could not see the irony of the fact that despite being founded by immigrants (Who took the land from the original people here) the average joe is capable of saying "Buzz off Mexico!" Red Dawn- Another aspect of the American tradition is the appeal of paranoia. In this country we are made up of people who dispute everything from JFK's assassination to the 64 thousand dollar question, to the obstruction of justice from Billy Clinton on his discretion with 21 year old girls. Yet remain completely oblvious to the facts regarding what really is at stake. Which is why there is a conspiracy about the government being in on 9/11 but none when needed over the fact that Bush couldn't find weapons of mass destruction. Red Dawn represents an America so oblivious that it needs teenagers to fight our battles for us. Yes indeed, Red Dawn is a cold war epic about hard times and toughening up when the times are darkest. Missing the complete irony that we as Americans are too oblivious to read the signs until it is too late. Why bother with a consitituition if teenagers can accomplish what the Army, cops and politicans can't handle? Also nothing exhibits a teenager's pretentions quite like this movie, they to themselves are the most important beings that think they are the strongest and the best. Plus what can be said about a teen's legacy being either a big spelling bee winner, state champ wrestler or a kid who goes ape and shoots up his school, i'm not sure what inspires are youth to do what they do but i'm guessing it has to be by Red Dawn. Page 2 Back To Movies In The Attic |
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