| You know you're azn if... continued ~ You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom. ~ You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs. ~ At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius says . . . " ~ You know what bok choy is. ~ You've ever gotten little red envelopes around Frebruary. ~ Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors. ~ You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) everytime someone calls you (e.g. Jean-ee-yah! or Mary-yah!). ~ You have NO eyelashes. ~ Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chone woo bok chi, etc . . . ~ Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin. ~ The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopi) was last night's dinner. ~ Your ancestors 1000 generatinos back invented the back scratcher. ~ At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses. ~ Your parents expect you'll be best friends with anyone off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian. ~ An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?" ~ Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both. ~ You parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!" ~ Everyone thinks you're good at math. ~ Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's." ~ You like $1.75 movies. ~ You like $1.50 movies even more. ~ Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green. ~ Your parents insist you marry within your race. ~ You never order chop cuey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food. ~ You either really, really want to go to UC Berkeley or really, really want to stay away from it. ~ Your parents have never kissed you. ~ Your parents have never kissed each other. ~ You learned about the birds and bees from someone other than your parents. ~ "You want a stereo! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!" ~ People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to traslate. ~ You have to call just about all your parents friends "Auntie and Uncle." ~ You have 12+ aunts and uncles. ~ At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert. ~ Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good." ~ The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses, think glasses. ~ You're taller than your parents. ~ Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both. ~ You get nothing ifyou do well in school, but crapped on it you don't. ~ When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift. ~ Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top. ~ Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both. ~ Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV. ~ The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture. ~ You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine. ~ You own two rice cookers (one that works and the other you're father swears, for the past ten years, is repairable and should not be thrown away). ~ You buy soy sauce by the gallon. ~ Your family owns buther knives bigger than your head. |
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