My Blog

Friday, June 24, 2005

WARNING! WARNING!

This blog contains sarcasm, satrire, poor language, occasional bad poetry, odd haiku, along with a twisted and warped sense of humor. Not every post is the "God's honest truth" most all posts contain some form of sarcastic humor that amuses me at the time.

Addendum OK, OK FINE...don't push...jeeze... Yes, OK this blog also includes a lot of childish whining (are you happy now?) and yes...it also includes that American attitude of "it's not my fault...I'm never wrong I don't screw up...." yeah, there's probably a lot of that too........*grumble grumble...mutter....*

Those who may be offended by said sarcastic, twisted sense of humor should attempt to lighten up and not take everything so serioiusly. Good sources for humor and lightening up include: Jon Stewart, Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup -- in particular the Brak show, Spike TV's MXC, the character Lennie Briscoe from Law & Order, Monty Python, "Dude, Where's my car", "Harold & Kumar go to White Castle" and a personal favorite, "The Pricess Bride".

To anyone who has been offended by anything said in the past, obviously you don't know me very well and aren't reading this and hearing my voice in your head. Perhaps you should call me and have me do a spoken word performance for you.

In other news... I've received 3 more RSVP's to the shower, there will now be a total of 4 people in addition to Sam and I. We'll definitely need 3 six packs and perhaps 2 bottles of wine in order to really booze it up...

That's what I said at 12:05 AM

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

People Suck

So I'm planning my little sister's bridal shower... I carefully picked the invitations, wording inside the invitations and now I am attempting to gather up some sort of menu and parting gifts. Apparently people expect some kinda chotchkie thing at these events. The problem here is, only 3 people have bothered to RSVP. And I was so kind as to put both the phone number and email address for reaching me on the invitation. So why is no one telling me if they are going to come or not? It seems that I'm only going to have me, sis and 3 others there...nice small party, I wont need to rent any chairs...we can booze it up on a 6 pack...or maybe two 6 packs and a bottle of wine.

Why can't people grant others the courtesy of saying, Yeah I'll be there or Can't make it? How can I figure out how much food and drink and chairs to provide if you can't get off your lazy ass and tell me you'll be there!!

All y'all suck!

That's what I said at 3:02 PM


There is an independent woman of the new millennium inside me (yes, I ate her)...
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