My Blog

Friday, May 20, 2005

The Beginning

I was sitting in my room, reading, when I heard my dad call me. He rarely used my full name, actually I don't think he ever called me before using my full name, in that tone of voice. I got up quickly and went downstairs.

"What do you need Dad?"

He picked up the phone and pointed down the hallway, "help your mother."

I gave him a puzzled look and went around the corner. My mother was sitting on the floor in her underwear, her feet were in the bathroom but the rest of her was in the hall. As I approached I saw her ankle was wrapped in a towel.

"Get me my cigarettes," she said desperately.

"What?" I asked. As I sized up the situation I looked into the bathroom, the tile in the shower was streaked with blood. It looked like an Alfred Hitchcock movie set, except in living color. I could feel the panic rising in my chest.

I think my mom could see the fear spreading across my face because she started telling me to calm down, "It's fine, I'm OK. Just get me my cigarettes and some pants. Once the paramedics arrive they wont let me smoke."

I was beyond being calmed down though, "What? How can you smoke at a time like this? Oh my God what happened?"

She was so calm, yet I could tell she was jonesing for a smoke. She got angry, "Just get me my cigarettes, PLEASE?" She said through clenched teeth.

Indignantly, I did as I was asked. I grabbed the shorts that were lying on a chair in the living room and handed them to her, Dad must have set them there when he ran for the phone. I then went to the kitchen table and grabbed her Vantage Light 100's and her lighter.

"What happened?" I asked again as I handed her the smokes.

"One of the vericose veins popped. I'll just get some stitches. It's not a big deal," she said and inhaled deeply on her cigarette.

The paramedics arrived, and as Mom predicted, they made her put out the cigarette. Dad followed in the car. He asked if I wanted to go with him, but I thought it would be smarter to stay and clean the bathroom walls before my sister got home and saw the carnage. I pulled the Comet out of the cabinet and began wiping my mother's blood from the walls of the bathroom. It washed down the drain with little effort.

That's what I said at 3:59 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Dogs in diapers

So... I'm in the shower...doin' my thing...and I come out of the bathroom and there's blood all over the hall. Like the aftermath of a slasher film. I KNOW there was no blood in the hall when I went into the bathroom. I'm looking around for my cats...they're both in the bathroom, looking at me with that, "what? what do YOU want?" look on their faces. They seemed to be fine. I go into the bedroom where the boy is still asleep and I'm like...DUDE! Someone's bleeding and it's not the cats!
He's all groggy...huh? whu? And I see blood on the sheets of the bed and there's little Christian lying there licking himself.
The boy comes into the hall and says, "shit" and we go check Sam, she's fine so it's definitely Christian. So...he gets put outside we quickly clean up the carpet in the hall and then we begin the quest to find an emergency vet...
In the phonebook...(YES the PHONE BOOK...can you believe we didn't even look online?) there's one supposedly not to far away. So we call up tell them the dog is bleeding out his penis (yes he's bleeding when he pees... and upon closer examination of the slasher-aftermath hallway I see he had attempted to lift his leg on the laundry room door...and then ended up with tiny dots of blood on the door...wall and then ALL OVER the floor) they tell us to bring him in, although they are a bit busy so there may be a wait.
The boy gets their location and address and we wrap the dog in a towel and take his whiney self into the car...where he continues to whine all the way....which ended up being LONGER than expected because the girl on the phone gave us the address for their OLD location....the one from 3 years ago...so we had to turn around and drive all the way back to the beginning because rather than turning LEFT...we went RIGHT based on the INCORRECT addres... you'd think that being at 2600 you'd say we're at 2600...not 215! So yeah... we drive back and forth on the same road with a whiney dog. We finally arrive and go inside where there are 2 people waiting...one with a pet...and the receptionist girl isn't anywhere to be seen... I think she may have realized the error of her ways with the address and feared I'd be arriving to maim her. But after about 3 minutes she walked up to the desk, we told her our reason for being there, she gave us forms to fill out and told us it'd be about 45 minutes. Well, about 90 mintues later the boy takes the dog into an exam room. I waited in the waiting area.
As I'm waiting during the exam a woman comes in with a dog wrapped in a towel. Her dog is bleeding too, but because he tore out a claw. During her story to the receptionsit I hear that her husband called her FRANTIC over the bleeding dog and made her come home to bring him to the clinic....why HE couldn't do it was a mystery to her.
Then a married couple with a baby comes in (no pet) they're there to pick up their dog. The man sits on the bench (these benches are like hard wooden park benches...not comfortable at all) and he promtly begins SNORING. The woman says to the baby, "yeah, daddy got less sleep that I did, but he's really tired" She walks across the waiting area trying to keep the baby happy. They bring out the dog and then finally Dad wakes up. The dog has a red cast on it's right front leg. Mom puts the baby in the car seat and holds the dog. The baby begins to cry...Dad goes off down the hall.
A man comes in to pick up medicine for his pet. It isn't ready yet so he's got to wait.
A nurse comes in with papers and a bag. The Mom goes up to the counter writes a check and is told to have a seat while they wait for discharge instructions.
The receptionist tells the man his medicine is ready. He pays for it and takes the bag from the counter. 2 seconds after he's out the door the receptionst begins to freak out and mutters, "he's got the wrong medicine" and runs out the door screaming at the man.
My boy comes back without the dog. Sits down to wait. The doctor comes up to us and says she's going to "extract urine" from the dog to check out under a microscope. The boy tells me she had stuck her fingers in an unpleasant place for the dog and said "biggest problem is that I can't tell him to turn his head and cough". The doc goes away....then comes back a few minutes later with Christian and a syringe of yellow liquid. She said she was going to the lab to look at it under a microscope. And off she went... so I think by this point a total of maybe 3 hours has gone by since we walked in the door. Now we got the whiney dog on our laps in the waiting room.
A couple comes into the waiting room from the hallway where the boy went with the dog. They've got an empty carrier in their hands. The doctor is with them holding a cat. She says something to the receptionist nods at the couple and walks away with the cat. The receptionist hands them a stack of paper saying something about "Estimate" the doctor comes back with another piece of paper, they sit on a bench and she talks to them. She's speaking quietly so I can't hear what she's saying. Later the man goes up to the receptionist and she says, "I just need $700 now..." and I'm thinking if he's paying half now...that's like $1400 for the cat...what on EARTH is wrong with their cat?
Then...a woman comes in with a boxer on a leash... Christian decides it's time to bark at other animals. The entire time the dog was in the waiting room they barked at each other. After about 10 minutes of that they took the boxer away.
So after a total of about 4 hours we finally find out that Christian has a prostate infection. He's on antibiotics right now, once those are done the dog must be castrated because the infections will only continue. Why the boy didn't fix him from the start is beyond me. But now he's got to do it.
So in the meantime because the antibiotics will take time to kick in. Christian is wearing a doggy diaper. They're plastic lined denim pants made for female dogs in heat. They get a panty liner stuck inside to prevent leaking. there's even a cute little bandanna piece around the opening for his tail. Now the first pair of diapers we got for him were meant for medium sized dogs. We bring it home it fits him just fine around his body....till we notice his boy parts are hanging out over the rim of the pants. Which defeats the entire purpose of the diaper. So we return the medium and get the large...thinking, this ought to be fine. We get home pull out the larger diaper... put it on the dog...the "large" size is made for a large AROUND dog. So the one strap totally wraps around his body leaving the other strap no velcro. So off I go to Osco to get diaper pins...
But now the diaper is on the dog...he looks completely ridiculous...
And being a male dog...a male dog with an infection in his male parts.... he pushes down the diaper and licks himself leaving the diaper not covering his stuff and thus bleeding still on my beige carpeting... frickin' dog...

Once I can catch him, I'll post a photo of him in the girly diaper...

That's what I said at 8:50 PM


There is an independent woman of the new millennium inside me (yes, I ate her)...
me 100 Things About Me My Profile Amazon Wish List If you really like me, buy me something! home page archives Archive Page is here I feel Archive Page is here links << chicago blogs >> Famous Folk Neil Gaiman Gary Braunbeck Jennifer Weiner Wil Wheaton Leo Laporte Caitlin Kiernan Poppy Z. Brite Peter David Friends Sama-lama Janine Tammy Karen Melissa Kath Bridget Alyson Nick Bijou James Other Stuff Gothic.net Random Blog What I've been listening to: [email protected] streaming live What I've been watching: LOST Movie recently watched: Team America World Police Currently reading: And Just Finished reading: And And Can't wait for: The premiere of Alias blog skins! check it out to find a cool skin for your blog!	Friday, May 20, 2005 The Beginning I was sitting in my room, reading, when I heard my dad call me. He rarely used my full name, actually I don't think he ever called me before using my full name, in that tone of voice. I got up quickly and went downstairs. "What do you need Dad?" He picked up the phone and pointed down the hallway, "help your mother." I gave him a puzzled look and went around the corner. My mother was sitting on the floor in her underwear, her feet were in the bathroom but the rest of her was in the hall. As I approached I saw her ankle was wrapped in a towel. "Get me my cigarettes," she said desperately. "What?" I asked. As I sized up the situation I looked into the bathroom, the tile in the shower was streaked with blood. It looked like an Alfred Hitchcock movie set, except in living color. I could feel the panic rising in my chest. I think my mom could see the fear spreading across my face because she started telling me to calm down, "It's fine, I'm OK. Just get me my cigarettes and some pants. Once the paramedics arrive they wont let me smoke." I was beyond being calmed down though, "What? How can you smoke at a time like this? Oh my God what happened?" She was so calm, yet I could tell she was jonesing for a smoke. She got angry, "Just get me my cigarettes, PLEASE?" She said through clenched teeth. Indignantly, I did as I was asked. I grabbed the shorts that were lying on a chair in the living room and handed them to her, Dad must have set them there when he ran for the phone. I then went to the kitchen table and grabbed her Vantage Light 100's and her lighter. "What happened?" I asked again as I handed her the smokes. "One of the vericose veins popped. I'll just get some stitches. It's not a big deal," she said and inhaled deeply on her cigarette. The paramedics arrived, and as Mom predicted, they made her put out the cigarette. Dad followed in the car. He asked if I wanted to go with him, but I thought it would be smarter to stay and clean the bathroom walls before my sister got home and saw the carnage. I pulled the Comet out of the cabinet and began wiping my mother's blood from the walls of the bathroom. It washed down the drain with little effort. That's what I said at 3:59 PM Tuesday, May 17, 2005 Dogs in diapers So... I'm in the shower...doin' my thing...and I come out of the bathroom and there's blood all over the hall. Like the aftermath of a slasher film. I KNOW there was no blood in the hall when I went into the bathroom. I'm looking around for my cats...they're both in the bathroom, looking at me with that, "what? what do YOU want?" look on their faces. They seemed to be fine. I go into the bedroom where the boy is still asleep and I'm like...DUDE! Someone's bleeding and it's not the cats! He's all groggy...huh? whu? And I see blood on the sheets of the bed and there's little Christian lying there licking himself. The boy comes into the hall and says, "shit" and we go check Sam, she's fine so it's definitely Christian. So...he gets put outside we quickly clean up the carpet in the hall and then we begin the quest to find an emergency vet... In the phonebook...(YES the PHONE BOOK...can you believe we didn't even look online?) there's one supposedly not to far away. So we call up tell them the dog is bleeding out his penis (yes he's bleeding when he pees... and upon closer examination of the slasher-aftermath hallway I see he had attempted to lift his leg on the laundry room door...and then ended up with tiny dots of blood on the door...wall and then ALL OVER the floor) they tell us to bring him in, although they are a bit busy so there may be a wait. The boy gets their location and address and we wrap the dog in a towel and take his whiney self into the car...where he continues to whine all the way....which ended up being LONGER than expected because the girl on the phone gave us the address for their OLD location....the one from 3 years ago...so we had to turn around and drive all the way back to the beginning because rather than turning LEFT...we went RIGHT based on the INCORRECT addres... you'd think that being at 2600 you'd say we're at 2600...not 215! So yeah... we drive back and forth on the same road with a whiney dog. We finally arrive and go inside where there are 2 people waiting...one with a pet...and the receptionist girl isn't anywhere to be seen... I think she may have realized the error of her ways with the address and feared I'd be arriving to maim her. But after about 3 minutes she walked up to the desk, we told her our reason for being there, she gave us forms to fill out and told us it'd be about 45 minutes. Well, about 90 mintues later the boy takes the dog into an exam room. I waited in the waiting area. As I'm waiting during the exam a woman comes in with a dog wrapped in a towel. Her dog is bleeding too, but because he tore out a claw. During her story to the receptionsit I hear that her husband called her FRANTIC over the bleeding dog and made her come home to bring him to the clinic....why HE couldn't do it was a mystery to her. Then a married couple with a baby comes in (no pet) they're there to pick up their dog. The man sits on the bench (these benches are like hard wooden park benches...not comfortable at all) and he promtly begins SNORING. The woman says to the baby, "yeah, daddy got less sleep that I did, but he's really tired" She walks across the waiting area trying to keep the baby happy. They bring out the dog and then finally Dad wakes up. The dog has a red cast on it's right front leg. Mom puts the baby in the car seat and holds the dog. The baby begins to cry...Dad goes off down the hall. A man comes in to pick up medicine for his pet. It isn't ready yet so he's got to wait. A nurse comes in with papers and a bag. The Mom goes up to the counter writes a check and is told to have a seat while they wait for discharge instructions. The receptionist tells the man his medicine is ready. He pays for it and takes the bag from the counter. 2 seconds after he's out the door the receptionst begins to freak out and mutters, "he's got the wrong medicine" and runs out the door screaming at the man. My boy comes back without the dog. Sits down to wait. The doctor comes up to us and says she's going to "extract urine" from the dog to check out under a microscope. The boy tells me she had stuck her fingers in an unpleasant place for the dog and said "biggest problem is that I can't tell him to turn his head and cough". The doc goes away....then comes back a few minutes later with Christian and a syringe of yellow liquid. She said she was going to the lab to look at it under a microscope. And off she went... so I think by this point a total of maybe 3 hours has gone by since we walked in the door. Now we got the whiney dog on our laps in the waiting room. A couple comes into the waiting room from the hallway where the boy went with the dog. They've got an empty carrier in their hands. The doctor is with them holding a cat. She says something to the receptionist nods at the couple and walks away with the cat. The receptionist hands them a stack of paper saying something about "Estimate" the doctor comes back with another piece of paper, they sit on a bench and she talks to them. She's speaking quietly so I can't hear what she's saying. Later the man goes up to the receptionist and she says, "I just need $700 now..." and I'm thinking if he's paying half now...that's like $1400 for the cat...what on EARTH is wrong with their cat? Then...a woman comes in with a boxer on a leash... Christian decides it's time to bark at other animals. The entire time the dog was in the waiting room they barked at each other. After about 10 minutes of that they took the boxer away. So after a total of about 4 hours we finally find out that Christian has a prostate infection. He's on antibiotics right now, once those are done the dog must be castrated because the infections will only continue. Why the boy didn't fix him from the start is beyond me. But now he's got to do it. So in the meantime because the antibiotics will take time to kick in. Christian is wearing a doggy diaper. They're plastic lined denim pants made for female dogs in heat. They get a panty liner stuck inside to prevent leaking. there's even a cute little bandanna piece around the opening for his tail. Now the first pair of diapers we got for him were meant for medium sized dogs. We bring it home it fits him just fine around his body....till we notice his boy parts are hanging out over the rim of the pants. Which defeats the entire purpose of the diaper. So we return the medium and get the large...thinking, this ought to be fine. We get home pull out the larger diaper... put it on the dog...the "large" size is made for a large AROUND dog. So the one strap totally wraps around his body leaving the other strap no velcro. So off I go to Osco to get diaper pins... But now the diaper is on the dog...he looks completely ridiculous... And being a male dog...a male dog with an infection in his male parts.... he pushes down the diaper and licks himself leaving the diaper not covering his stuff and thus bleeding still on my beige carpeting... frickin' dog... Once I can catch him, I'll post a photo of him in the girly diaper... That's what I said at 8:50 PM	Tidbits Blogger Code: B5 d- t k s-- u-- f i o+ x-- e l c My Bloginality is INFP! The Sideblog
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