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Thursday, May 16, 2002

Star Wars Episode II Review -- no spoilers

I got to see Star Wars Episode II last night. No, I didn't sit in line for days to catch a midnight showing. I went to a free preview screening, a perk of my job. So I'll share my wisdom without spoiling any of the plot for you and ruining any of the "fun".

I will only describe is how PAINFUL it was to sit and listen to the inane, cliche dialog. It was like watching a high school production of a fantastic drama done by the Goodman Theater. Like there was potential there for it to be brilliant, but it just fell flat due to lack of refined talent. I feel like some of my intellegence was sucked out of my ear while I sat through that piece of crap. It WAS cool to look at, yes... and there is one scene that I was able to forgive the inappropriate and out of character-ness of it all because it was fun...but...It didn't help bring the movie out of the category of crap. It was like they got every lousy Soap Opera writer on the planet to write the dialog on this. "I love you, but I can't be with you..." "He is jealous of my talents and is holding me back - waa waa poor me!" I suggest bringing earplugs and watching the movie just to SEE how cool the scenery looks, but don't listen to them talking, because you'll get stupid from it, they will suck the intellegence right out of you.

Ya know... I like Natalie Portman, I've seen her in so many things where she's brilliant and shows she's got talent. But in this...she was so stiff and unemotional. Like she didn't really want to be there. Like she could TELL the dialog was crap.

And I just want to say that I miss the puppets, models and actors in costumes as aliens, they felt more real than this cgi stuff does.

That's it..that's my review. On a scale of dollars... I'd only pay the cheap second run theater price for this movie and I'd pass on the snacks. The scenery and visuals will work better on the big screen than if you see it on your TV for a rental but I wouldn't pay more than $5 on this film IF you feel a NEED to see it. If you don't care, then just don't bother with it and spend your money on something you WANT to see.

That's what I said at 11:26 AM


There is an independent woman of the new millennium inside me (yes, I ate her)...
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