That's what this headline should read after an incident on the lower south coast of Natal, SA, during late September. If you pressed rewind and played out the moment again, 99 out of 100 times Greg Swart would not have lived. This article would be an ode to a great surfer - an obituary - not a tale of an unbelievable escape. Greg takes us through it the only way he can.
I was out at the spot with David Weare, Simon Nicholson and Craig Pearsons. Ours was the only car parked on the field, and we were the only surfers out off the point. We had insane four foot waves, just us, nobody else out. We came in and had a chow on the rocks. I asked the groms if they were keen to come out with me for another session, but they said they were going to let their food settle and would join me later. Anyway, you know me, I wasn't fased in the slightest, I just figured I would get even more waves.
On my way to my minibus, which was parked on the field facing the line-up, I noticed two black guys, early 20s, sitting near the van. While I was at the car changing I had a fully bad feeling about these dudes, so strong in fact that I considered canning the idea of a second surf simply because these guys were going to bust into my car. They were sitting on the grass north of the bus about 20 yards from the passenger side. I went around to the driver's side, out of their view, and started to get changed for my surf. I took my gear lock key and ignition key off my key ring so I had less to hide because they were fully just scanning my every move. It was at this point that I decided to bail the idea of my surf so I put my keys back on the ring.
I came around to the passenger side and got into the front so I could soak up some rays. The one guy came over and asked me for my leftover loaf of brown bread, the usual "I'm so hungry" line.
I gave him the bread and he went and sat on the grass only this time about five feet from the back wheel. The next dude comes over and asks me for a light for his smoke. I then figured to myself, why would old Smokey Robinson here be asking a little old country bot like me for a light when he looks like the kind of guy who could bust a neck the size of a Castle quart in one fine hit!
I told him that the car lighter did not work, which was a lie. The next minute the guy who too the bread comes and stands with his body in the open door of the car. He tries to give me the bread back, so I told him I was over it and he could hang onto it for later. He rudely asks me for some chips which I politely told him were finished. He then rudely asks me for "drink" which I politely told him was non-existent because my tongue at this stage was sticking to the roof of my mouth in the heat of the mid-morning. Okay, now you get a load of this next part:
Picture him facing the horizon with his right side close to my right side (I'm still in the front passenger seat facing straight out to sea). He turns 180 and leans with his left side against the panel in between the closed sliding door and my open passenger door. I look over my left shoulder and I see him scanning into the car at all the bags. The next minute he puts his hand in his trousers and pulls out a 7.65 and turns around and faces me. Without saying a word to me he crouches down, leans back on his haunches and faces my chest which is now turned to face the men who are busy making the music. he aims the gun directly at my chest and neck area and fires a shot straight at me. I still don't know how it missed! You've got to understand that the guy is only a metre or two away from me - we're within arms reach of each other. Hello, how's the wife and kids now flashing through my mind?!! Just as I'm trying to comprehend what's just happened, he fires again. Same story.
He seemed so spun by the whole thing that he grabs me out of the car and pulls me to the floor holding foot with the gun now pointed in my chest. He was so nervous that I was certain he was going to pop me, truly. Strangely though, I had the most amazing calm come over me. I started telling him how I had a wife and kid and he could gladly take my car. How's this - I took off my oakley sunnies and gave them to him as a gesture so he could see I wasn't going to work him. I think his big fear of me was that I might be an off-duty cop because the SAP dudes all drive Ford Husky buses as opposed to Toyota HiAces.
While this was going down the groms had seen the whole thing figuring I had been shot. They just ran and hid in the rocks and were so freaked out. The other dude who was on the program had in the meanwhile snatched the keys and was trying to get my car started. He was shouting to me while I had the gat in my chest that he wanted the key for the ignition. The reason he thought I had it was they had checked me fiddling with my keys while I was walking around to the passenger side after canning the idea of the surf.
The other reason he figured I had the key was because the key that unlocks the doors and the key that starts the car are different simply because last week two guys tried to steal my bus and destroyed my ignition system with an allen key. Thanks a lot, R785 later.
I was telling him that he had the real key and that I wasn't lying. The guy who has me on the ground pulls me to my feet and tells me to get the key, which I don't actually have, out of the pocket of my trunks. This was a very vulnerable time for my naked chest simply because the man who had tried to shoot me earlier could have easily burned out on arguing with me and just plain and simple shot me to get what he was after. I truly believed he was going to. That was when the dork in the bus finally managed to get the correct key to start the thing.
Will Smith at this point told me to get into the sea. Cool! I started to walk like a crab so he couldn't get a clear shot at me if he tried again. The whole thing went down in about two hours, but it honestly felt like hours. He then got into the car and drove off with his pal.
You must really believe me, even if you don't believe another word I tell you, that there is no way that guy missed me. If he had kinda pointed the gun at me from far I would say Okay, but the fact that he was so close I could actually have grabbed it with my hands. He cocked the thing in front of me and just opened fire ekse!
Anyway I truly believe that God protected me. Really, even the kids who say the whole thing go down thought I was tickets. I thought I had been hit put that I wasn't feeling any pain or blood because of adrenalin. I still looked at my body closely when they drove off!
I reckon it was that car. When I was at the SA Champs it got broken into and the camera that I won in J Bay got stolen. Even if they recover it after this, I'm still not going to drive it.
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