| Quotes cont. |
Chinese host (lifting his glass to his American guest): "Up your bottoms" American diplomat: "Up yours too." - Overheard at a cocktail party honoring numerous international guests in Shenyang, China "The Baltimore Colts are a bright young team. It seems as if they have their future ahead of them." - Curt Gowdy, sports commentator "And let me say in conclusion, thanks for the kids. I learned an awful lot about bathtub toys and about how to work the telephone. Several of them know their own phone numbers. One guy knows preparation to go to the dentist. A lot of things I'd forgotten. So it's been a good day." - former president George Bush, during a Maryland Head Start Center visit "John Redwood is a young man, but, let's face it, so was Margaret Thatcher in 1975." - Edward Leigh, member of Parliament, during a radio interview "I don't like to look back in retrospect." - Vince Ferragamo, Los Angeles Rams quarterback "Texas Federal has established a policy to consider a robbery at an ATM to be an authorized transaction." - Texas Federal Savings Bank in a letter to a customer who had been robbed at an ATM Mickey Mantle (pointing at a Jolly Roger pirate flag flying from the mast of a make-believe pirate ship): "I bet you don't know what the skull and crossbones on that flag means." Yogi Berra: "Sure I do. It means iodine." "Patient failed to fulfill his wellness potential." - doctor's note on the chart of a patient who died "And he's got the ice pack on his groin there, so it's possibly not the old shoulder injury." - sportscaster Ray French "Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil ... " - directions given on television's "The French Chef" "I am not going to sit here and stand for those kind of insults." - Rush Limbaugh, conservative commentator "Some of our friends are for it. Some of our friends are against it. And we're standing with our friends." - Mike McCurry, White House press secretary, discussing whether or not President Clinton would veto a bill Red squirrels ... you don't see many of them since they became extinct." - Michael Aspel, British Radio 2 "Every minute was more exciting than the next." - actress Linda Evans, during an on-camera interview about the "Night of 100 Stars" party "We have problems with their support of terrorism, but we share a common goal." - Secretary of State James Baker, on the U.S. alliance with Syria "I feel like the oldest ovary-producing person in America." - actress Susan Sarandon, mother of three children "I've got to run now and relax. The doctor told me to relax. The doctor told me. He was the one. He said, 'Relax'." - Former President George Bush, at the end of a press conference at Andrews Air Force Base "I intend to open this country up to democracy, and anyone who is against that, I will jail, I will crush." - General Joao Baptista Figueiredo, elected president of Brazil in 1979 "Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses." - David Thompson, Denver Nuggets player "If a guy can't get sick on a day like today, he ain't healthy." - Yogi Berra to Joe Garagiola while playing soccer on an extremely cold day "Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited." - sign displayed in a Japanese Hotel "They said it couldn't be done, but that doesn't always work." - Yogi Berra, former N.Y. Yankee "I only know how to play two ways and that's reckless and abandon." - Magic Johnson, former Los Angeles Lakers guard |
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