Is it Just me?Is it Just me?
It was about 2:00 am. Hawkeye had just finally settled down into bed. It was a sweltering July night, and the opened windows did little except to circulate more muggy air.
Suddenly, a sharp ring of the telephone cut like a knife through the dense air. He picked up the phone as quickly as he could, hoping the noise hadn’t woken his father.
“Hello?” he asked groggily.
“Oh, Hawkeye, I’m so sorry. Did I wake you up?” The voice of Margaret Houlihan on the other end of the line snapped him awake instantly.
They were the closest of friends. The only time they had really ever romanced had been so rarely in Korea, though Hawkeye, being Hawkeye, teased her about it often.
Something else that should also be cleared up was the very distinct difference between Major and Margaret. Margaret was a fun loving, freethinking soul as long as she was out of uniform. But either way she was stubborn and independent. So it was clear to Hawkeye that this was an absolute emergency for her to be calling him this late.
“What’s wrong Margaret?” he asked, genuinely concerned. “Steve?” Her boyfriend had been giving Margaret a lot of trouble lately and Hawkeye suspected it was more then she was telling him.
“Yeah,” she choked out, and Hawkeye instantly knew she was crying.
“I’ll be right over.”
“Oh, Hawkeye, no. It can wait until morning—“
Hawkeye cut in. “It is morning. I’ll be there in a minute.” Then he hung up the phone, leaving no room for argument.
He rolled out of bed and pulled on shorts and a tee shirt. He hurriedly ran his fingers through his hair, which incidently had stopped graying once he had returned home from Korea. Big surprise, he often thought as he looked into the mirror.
Hastily scribbling a note to his father telling him where he was, he grabbed the keys and headed out the door.
~ ~ ~
Margaret placed down the receiver, and began to pace around her tiny home. She wouldn’t have been here at all if it wasn’t for Hawkeye. She didn’t mean that in a bad way, she told herself, it was just that he was the one who wrote her while she was still at the 8063rd and told her about a fantastic new nursing position that had recently opened up at the hospital he worked at. It was the perfect job, and she had accepted.
She sighed as she thought of how different her life was than she had expected it to be. She had the career of her dreams, but her social life was a nightmare. Her thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door. Hawkeye rushed in, not bothering to knock. He swooped over to the couch where she was and enveloped her in his arms. She loved the way those arms made her feel safe; oceans of relief swept over her mind.
“Ok, now what happened?” Hawkeye asked when Margaret had finally disentangled herself from his arms. They were still close, but far enough away where she could look into his piercing blue eyes.
She took a deep breath. “Steve wants me to end the relationship between us. He says you get too close for comfort. His comfort, that is.” She stopped, looking at the way Hawkeye’s eyes were now twinkling. He had an odd sort of smile on his face, as though he had a very good wisecrack on the tip of his tongue, but was holding it back for her sake. She frowned at him. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Not at all. I was just wondering how it would be possible for him to believe that about us. And how unbelievably sexy you look when you’re distressed.” He finally allowed the smile to spread across his face. Margaret let out an enormous groan. “Must you always have a comeback for everything I say?”
Hawkeye shrugged. “I can’t help it if my brain moves in faster circles than most people.”
“Ah-ha. So that’s why you have such a dizzying intellect.”
“Oh bravo. Now who’s the one with the snappy comebacks?”
Margaret smiled through her tears. “It’s amazing how you always make me feel so much better.”
Hawkeye raised his eyebrows. “I haven’t even started yet. Turn around.”
Margaret gave him a perplexed look, but complied. Hawkeye gently grasped her shoulders, and began to work out the tight knots of stress that had woven themselves into her muscles. “Ok. Tell me everything.”
“That’s it.”
What’s it?” Hawkeye asked.
“All my thoughts. I’ve told you everything I know. No secrets.”
“Good. How do you feel?”
“Better. Relaxed.”
“My surgeon’s hands haven’t completely lost their touch.”
Margaret smiled. Hawkeye turned around to face him again. He came nearer to her face with his lips slightly puckered.
“No, Hawkeye,” she said, almost reluctantly, she realized, though she refused to admit it. She shoved him a forceful shove away.
“You know,” he frowned, slightly hurt, “I am capable of giving you a kiss as a friend. Not the preferable way, mind you, but doable.”
“Oh.” She relaxed, and he pulled her close again, planting a gentle kiss on her forehead, and then one on her nose. “ No lower buster,” she mumbled only half jokingly. He pulled away from her nose and grinned. “You know, you have a great nose. Goes along with a great—OW!!” he exclaimed as Margaret smacked him smartly on the arm. He grinned lopsidedly, and Margaret could see the idea that pooped into his head. “What??” she asked.
“Get up.”
“Pardon?”
“You’ll see…” Hawkeye replied. He grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. He lead her out the door and into the blue Chevy. With a jolt, it started up, and he backed out of Margaret’s driveway and down the road, all the while a mischievous grin on his face.
“Hawkeye!!!” Margaret whined playfully. “Just tell me where we’re going!!!”
“Nope. You’ll see when we get there.” He took a number of twists and turns along the back roads of Maine, most of which she had never seen before.
By now she had given up bantering, and took to watching the scenery of the world still in peaceful slumber. At last, Hawkeye pulled into a small abandoned lot.
“We’ll have to run if we’re going to get there in time.” He grinned boyishly.
“Get WHERE!!!!”
“Have you ever seen the sun rise on the beach?” he asked. Margaret shook her head. “Well, you’re not going to if you don’t HURRY!!” he scolded playfully. He grabbed Margaret’s hand and pulled. “Come on!!”
They jogged for awhile, but Margaret was more tired than usual, and soon slowed.
“Hurry up!” he called behind him. He did a sort of jump and began to gallop backwards, showing off like a proud peacock. Margaret tried to laugh, but it came out as a harsh rasp. Hawkeye heard it, and raced over. “Margaret, are you ok? You look horrible!”
“Flatterer. I don’t deal well with humidity. Rapid pulse, queasiness, the whole nine yards.” Margaret responded. Hawkeye took her wrist and felt for a pulse.
“You’re not kidding. I can’t have you exert yourself anymore right now. Climb on.” He turned around and bent down.
“Excuse me?”
“Climb onto my back. I’ll carry you the rest of the way.”
Margaret laughed sarcastically and shook her finger at him. “I don’t think so!! I know you too well. Your hand will start to creep.”
“I haven’t done that since Korea.”
“Swear it.”
“Boy Scout’s Honor.”
“You’re not a scout.”
“My word as a gentleman,” Hawkeye tried.
She raised an eyebrow. “That don’t count for much either.”
Hawkeye groaned. “My word as your friend??”
“Now that’s something I’d lay money on.” She climbed onto his back, and he shakily stood up. Then he began to jog, though slower than before.
Finally, Hawkeye set her down on a cliff top overlooking the ocean. The tide was in, and the waves crashed violently against the right side of the cliff. Suddenly, the tip of a glowing globe appeared where the ocean met the sky. The water turned to liquid gold.
Hawkeye silently observed Margaret’s reaction. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped in awe. “It’s so beautiful,” she breathed.
“It sure is,” he replied, not looking at the water. The sun reflected off her blonde hair, making it shine brighter and more beautiful than usual. Margaret glanced over at him with a slightly-less-than-amused look. “Hawkeye,” she warned.
“Hmmmm??” he asked innocently, absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair with a flair he had perfected long ago.
“We should get going.”
“Awwww, Margaret, have a heart! I haven’t shown you the best part yet!”
“Ok, show me. I’m all eyes.”
“You most certainly are not! I know, I’ve looked.”
“Pervert.”
He smiled. They both stood up, shaking the gravel from their legs.
“Which way?” Margaret asked.
“This way,” he replied, pointing towards the right end of the cliff, where the worst of the waves crashed.
“You can’t be serious!” she shrieked, her eyes widening.
The corner of Hawkeye’s mouth twitched. “Of course I’m kidding. You should know me better than that. I would never make you jump into such violent water.” He paused. “We’ll go down this way.” And with that, he gave her a small shove off the left side of the cliff.
“Hawwwkkkkkeeeeyyyeeeee!!!” she screamed as she fell. He jumped behind her, cackling mad as a hyena as he went.
When she finally surfaced, he was floating on his back a few feet away.
“You… you idiot!!” she splat, splashing him violently.
“Awwww, Margaret. I was hoping you would be unconscious so I could try some CPR.” He pouted in mock disappointment.
“And play doctor with me later, I suppose?”
“Margaret, you could read me like a book. Care to try in brail??”
“Incorrigible. Will you just show me whatever it is you were going to show me?”
“Follow me.” Hawkeye turned around and started to swim in a back sit paddle. Margaret swam beside him in a similar fashion. He lead them to a small hole in the Cliffside. “Watch your head!!” he called behind him.
“What about your claustrophobia?” Margaret inquired.
“Never hit home in here. I’ve been coming here for longer than I can remember, so I guess it just never registered.”
“Oh.”
After swimming along the watery corridor for a few minutes, she heard his voice a few feet ahead. “Turn around so your feet are in front.”
“Why?”she called in response.
“Water slide!!” She heard him call, right before a boyish shriek pierced the air.
“Pierce, I’ll get you for this,” she grumbled as she edged her way along, her feet searching for a sudden dip in the path. When she found it, she shimmied gently to a stop. “At least I have something under me this time,” she told herself bravely before she shoved herself off.
The shriek ensured Hawkeye that she was on her way. A moment later she splashed into the almost pitch black pool where he had been waiting.
“P-Pierce you moron!! I have a mind to—“ she paused and licked her lips. “Hey, this water is fresh.”
“Yep. It’s an undersea cavern. Holds rainwater. And you haven’t even seen the best part yet!!”
She heard a scrambling, scratching sound noise and knew they were near some sort of land. As her eyes adjusted to the inky blackness she could make out a tall dark figure scrambling up the stair like structure etched into the cavern wall. “Careful,” she warned, resuming a Major-like authority. She gave her small sort of smile as she heard him give an exasperated groan.
When he reached the top, he fumbled with something for a minute, and then a flashlight click on.
“All that work for a flashlight??” Margaret called up to him, but he was busy adjusting the light and ignored her. In a moment, the beam hit just the right place, and instantly Margaret understood why he had gone all the way up there. The single ray hit a crystal and prismed off from there, it’s light hitting a thousand crystals along the way. She hadn’t noticed them before. It had been too dark to tell. But now they gleamed and sparkled like icicles. Some of them probably were too. The water was clean and clear, and the water was a direct reflection of the ceiling. Rainbow light flecked off the walls. Hawkeye slid back down and into the waters.
“It’s like we’re swimming in diamonds,” she whispered in awe. Hawkeye nodded, for once without a wisecrack.
“I used to come here as a kid to think when things were a little tense at home. It’s my secret place. No one else knows about it but me, and I think my mom knew too, but she never told anyone outright. She never told me either, but left subtle hints, and I found it. The day after she died, actually.”
“Oh, Hawkeye, I’m so sorry.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. We’re here to have fun, remember? Today we deal with your problems. We’ll worry about mine another day.” That was just like Hawkeye. He was always willing to do anything to help someone else, but his own problems were put off until forever away.
“Ok, Hawkeye. I won’t spill the beans either.”
Soon, though she tried to hide it, Margaret began to shiver. She hoped he didn’t notice, and remained in that ignorance until he commented, “I felt that one from over here!” after one of her tremors. “Come on, let’s go warm you up.”
From across the cave, Margaret glanced at him. “Hmmm. Is this going to involve a sudden drop?”
A booming laugh resonated off the walls. “No, I promise no more falling today. Just go up the stair things. There’s a door that will lead us out.”
So carefully, the shivering masses of giggles made their way up and out. Hawkeye gave a small shove to one of the rocks and it moved, revealing the sun again.
They both blinked against it’s bright light and stepped out.
When her eyes had finally adjusted, Margaret was greeted with a postcard quality scene. A lagoon, secluded by lush green foliage with a small miniature beach was not the sort of thing she had expected from Hawkeye. Then again, she hadn’t expected the Cavern either. She shook her head, and muttered “You’re too much.”
Hawkeye hadn’t heard her. He was busy arranging blankets and pillows produced from an old trunk ,shielded from the elements, into a bedlike structure.
“And now, Mizz Margaret,” Hawkeye said in his southern drawl, bowing with flourish, “We at Hawkeye’s Hotel and Motorpool present our best.” He marched over and swept her up into his arms again.
“Hey!” she squeaked, struggling to get away. “Hawkeye, I’m not an invalid!!”
“But today you’re going to be treated like one. You’ve been through a lot. You get the special treatment.” With that he lay her down into the makeshift bed gently and covered her with a blanket. “Sleep,” he ordered.
“But Hawkeye,” she trailed, sitting up, only to be pushed firmly down into the pillows again.
“No buts, Margaret. You need to rest. How much sleep have you gotten over the last few weeks?”
She sighed, but obediently closed her eyes and soon drifted off.
Hawkeye gazed at her sleeping frame for awhile, before he peeled off his dripping clothes and hit the much warmer lagoon water in his jockey shorts. The sun had warmed the top of the water, so he floated on his back and thought. He thought about the war, about the peace, and about Margaret.
~ ~ ~
At about that time, it was seven in the morning at Mill Valley. BJ stretched and rolled over, gazing nose to nose at his wife’s sleeping form. Gently, he ran his index finger from the middle of her forehead down to the tip of her nose. She moaned softly, and chocolate brown eyes blinked open at him. He pulled her to him and planted gentle kisses on her lips.
“Good morning to you too!” she mumbled. “What brought this on?”
“I was just thinking about how long I was away from you and how much time we have to make up for.”
“MMmmmmmm. But why today?”
“It’s been exactly a year since I came home. I realized that and it triggered some memories.”
“Hmmm… like your welcoming committee?”
“You mean the entire city gathered in our house?”
“Noo,” she replied, rolling part way on top of him. “I mean me.”
“Ohh- ho,” he chuckled, touching her hair gently. “That welcoming party.Funny, it seems sort of hazy in my mind.”
“Maybe I should refresh your memory?”
“Well, now that you mention it…”
“Daddy?” an uncertain voice called.
The two united love birds sprang apart and looked at their small daughter standing in the doorway, holding Bunny and Blankie and trying to suck her thumb at the same time.
“What is it honey?” he answered, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. It still amazed him every time she said that, considering he was a stranger when he first came home. She hadn’t taken to kindly to him then. But she had come around when she had received her first bath from daddy, along with her first shoulder back ride. Still, every time she said that word, it was a small gem tucked away in his heart.
“Wake up time?”
“Almost sweetie. How come you’re up so early anyway?”
“I missed you. And I had bad icky dream that you went away and never came back.”
“Honey, I would never leave you.”
Her trust in him was almost overwhelming. “Ok Daddy. But I’m still lonely. Can’I come in with you?”
“Of course honey!!”
Delighted at the invitation, Erin bounced up onto the bed and onto BJ’s stomach. He picked her up and laughed as she wriggled and shrieked with delight. He sighed contentedly. It had taken him months, but he finally felt like he was home.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Yikes!” Margaret, who had just woken up, was surprised to find when she rolled over to find Hawkeye lying on his side , propped up by one elbow, looking at her.
“What?” she inquired, smiling slightly.
“I love watching you sleep. You look so innocent, like a little girl. It’s nice to see that look on your face every once in a while.”
Margaret didn’t say anything, but furrowed her brow. It wasn’t like him to spurt out with something poetic like that.
“We should get going. I have a shift at the hospital at four, and it’s two already, so…”
Margaret sat bolt upright. “2? I need to go too.”
Hawkeye frowned. “Why the rush??”
“I have a bone to pick with someone before one of mine gets broken.”
“What… you mean Steve?”
Margaret nodded grimly.
“But I need to be there!” Hawkeye insisted.
“Hawkeye, I will handle this. I’m a big girl now,” she replied, drawing herself up to her majorly stance.
“Ok,” he relented. “But f things get rough, call me.”
“Hawkeye!” she said half jokingly. “What has gotten into you lately?”
He looked up at her strangely. “What do you mean?”
She stood up slowly, her legs stiff from all the swimming she had done. “I don’t know. You seem mellow. Distant.”
He glanced at his watch again. “Oops. Ok, we’ll talk later.”
“I suppose I hafta rub your back too?”
For a brief shining moment, Hawkeye looked like himself, evil grin on his face. “Oooo goody. What else are you offering?”
Margaret sighed and rolled her eyes. She grabbed Hawkeye’s hands and pulled him up, bringing her hands all the way up to her chest with the effort. Hawkeye stared at his imprisoned hand, so close to the danger zone for a minute, with a look very difficult to describe on his face. He was frowning, looking horrified, worried, and even a little… was that embarrassment lurking at the corner of his mouth? Abruptly, he pulled his hands away and mumbled something about the time again.
“Hawkeye?” she called worriedly to his back as he turned and began to walk away. He stopped, and slowly turned around to face her, regarding her lovely features silently. She made an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.
“I like it here. But next time, do you think we could get here without getting so wet?!”
He smirked, and warmed up a bit on the ride home.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Steve, I just can’t take it anymore. The verbal abuse, sometimes even the physical; possessiveness. You told me to stop a relationship with one of my dearest friends because YOU were uncomfortable.”
“He looked at you the wrong way. He says things to you, grabs you, picks you up. You have a more physical relationship with him than yo do with me!! Am I just supposed to sit back and watch? NO. I’m going to act. I’m going to act right now.” He walked over to the bed and revealed a huge baseball bat, which he seemed to whield with pleasure.
“I’m in charge now, and I think we are going to be together for a very long time.”
Margaret backed up as he slowly advanced. She bumped the nightstand, knocking the phone off it’s cradle. The sound of the dial tone gave her an idea, and she fought to keep it from being seen in her face. It was her only hope, and Steve couldn’t realize what she had planned or she was a pulp waiting to happen. Her fingers danced rapidly over the keypad, knowing the number by heart. Ringing. Pick up Hawkeye, she prayed silently. Pick up pick up pick up-
“Hello?” a tiny and familiar voice said at the other end of the line. Thank you God.
“Steve, can’t we talk?” she said loudly, hoping Hawkeye would hear.
Steve grinned maliciously. “Sure. The longer you talk the longer you live.”
“Why do you want to hurt me?”
The tiny voice on the other end was talking again. “Oh my God. I’ll be right there.”
Only Margaret had heard it, and only she heard as the line went dead. She just hoped he got there before she did the same thing.
“You betrayed me.” Steve’s voice brought her back to the task at hand.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You and Hawkeye. I see the way he looks at you.”
“Now wait just a—how does he look at me?” she asked, suddenly intrigued.
“Like a forlorn little puppy dog.”
Margaret snorted, for a moment forgetting that she was in the presence of someone who could, at any moment, use her for batting practice. “A puppy? A pitiful puppy? I don’t think he has a pitiful bone in his body.”
“Yeah. He looks like he wants you but knows he can’t have you. Damn straight. If I can’t have you, no one will. I’m about to make sure of that.”
Suddenly, it dawned on her who she was talking to, and Margaret’s heart skipped a beat. It skipped another when she glanced to the door and saw a tall figure in the doorway. Trying to make it look like she hadn’t seen her savior, she managed to catch him pantomiming swinging a baseball bat. He shook his head, and put the imaginary bat down. He pointed to Steve, who was now inching closer again, and mouthed “Stall”.
Margaret looked back at Steve and did the first thing she could think of. She smiled seductively and placed a finger on the middle of his chest.
“You’re right. I was foolish to think of leaving you. It will never happen again.”
She sat down on the bed, and to her surprise and disgust, he all but pounced on her and kissed her sloppily. He reeked of gin. Come on, she prayed silently.
Thinking quickly, she said as well as she could between the kisses, “Why won’t you hold me?” She felt the arms snake around her, and the bat clanked to the floor. Instantly, he was yanked roughly away from her. Usually a physically mellow man, Hawkeye himself was surprised on how quickly and effortlessly he had punched him out.
“Wow,” Margaret commented when they had reached Hawkeye’s house.
Hawkeye glanced at her sideways. “What?”
“I don’t ever think I’ve seen you so mad.”
He walked out of the car and opened the door for her. His eyes were still black with fury. “Can you blame me?”
“My hero.” She stepped out of the car, and against her will, winced at some injury she had unknowingly sustained. Hawkeye caught it, and before she could evade him, she was being cradled in his arms.
“Hey!” she squeaked, struggling to get out of his arms. “I’m not an invalid.”
“Too bad. Stop wiggling, and relax. You’re only making this harder on yourself. And me.” She finally relaxed, as he placed her gently on his bed and went to get the first aid.
He reappeared a moment later toting a bag filled with various medical goodies. He pulled out the alcohol, and some bandages, along with Sterile Strips.
“What are those for?”
“Your cheek.”
“My… oh!!” She touched her cheek and realized there was blood on it.
He flicked on the lamp next to her bed, and sat down. “Nice job. You’re lucky you don’t need stitches.”
“Hmmm,” she responded halfheartedly. “I’m swearing off men.” She cleared her throat. “You know, Steve said something interesting today. It made me think.”
Hawkeye didn’t look up.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. He said you looked at me as though you wanted me but knew you couldn’t have me.” She looked up at him expectantly. His head shot up, a look of horror on his face that was actually comical.
“He WHAT?!?”
“You heard me. Is it true?”
He hesitated, unable to pick his jaw up from the floor. He had been feeling something for her other than friendship, but it wasn’t all the time, and she was beautiful, and they DID spend a lot of time together. Weren’t those feelings only natural?
“Ah ha,” she exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger. “ You just proved it. Hawkeye, why didn’t you tell me?? Is that why you’ve been so distant lately?”
“Well Margaret, it’s more complicated than that really-“ he began, but Margaret cut him off with a hand over his mouth. He nodded silently.
“Oh Hawkeye,” she whispered, leaning in towards him slightly.
Before he could stop himself, Hawkeye’s lips had collided gently with hers. It was like she had remembered in Korea. A small slice of heaven. He was drowning a sweet, slow death in warm pools of loveliness.
She was obviously enjoying the kiss too. He felt her hands slowly creep up her chest and around the collar, gently massaging the back of his neck. He let himself sink into it for a moment, before pulling back so quickly that Margaret almost fell forward.
“Wait—wait a minute… what are we doing??” he asked, pacing around the room.
Margaret watched him bemusedly. “As far as I can recall, that’s kissing. And as far as I know, you’ve never turned down the opportunity. Why now??”
A sad smile flitted over his face. “I never had anything to lose before.”
“You have something to lose now?”
He came back over and sat down across from her again, taking her hands in his and stroking her hands gently with his thumbs. “I could lose you. I don’t want to jeapordize anything so precious. We worked long and hard to get as far as we did, and almost lost it once. I mean, think about it. 4 years ago you would have done anything to get me punished, or better yet, shot. We hated each other; me with my joke-a-matic style, my robe, and my Hawaiian shirt; you with your army regulations, that damn bun, and Frank. Now look where we are!!”
Margaret sighed. “You’re right. We’ve both changed. Almost in the opposite ways, too. We’ve kind of reached a happy medium. I’ve grown down, and let my hair loose… literally, and you’ve somehow grown up.”
Hawkeye gasped through his smile. “Perish the thought!! How could I ever give up my groucho glasses and whoopee cushion?!?!”
“That sounds more like the idiot I know.”
The phone rang in the Hunnicutt residence late Sunday morning.
“O king of the fishermen!” Peg called from the changing room. “Would you kindly reel yourself into the kitchen to get the phone? I’m busy here.”
BJ materialized in the doorway. “Of course, my queen,” he answered, sweeping off his battered fishing hat and bowing. A moment later, the jangling stopped as the phone was picked up.
“Hunnicutt Residence.”
“Beej?”
“Hawk?”
“The one and only!! I haven’t talked with you in ages!! How’ve you been? How’d you know it was me?”
“You have a nasally voice on the phone that sounds like Frank if he had a chin.”
“Watch it pal.”
“Just kidding. So, what’s been happening over on the east coast?”
“A lot, actually.” Hawkeye explained the situation. BJ was appalled.
“You’re coming down here. Now.”
“Beej, you don’t have to—“
“But I am. Pack your bags. I’ll see you in three days.”
As he hung up the phone, BJ did a little tapdance in delight. This was perfect timing.
~
“BJ!!” Margaret and Hawkeye called as they stepped off the runway.
“Hawk!! Margaret!!” he cried, embracing his former colleagues. Peg joined the group hug, and they huddled together for a minute before Hawkeye pulled back.
“And who is this lovely young beautifully built woman?” he asked, grinning ear to ear.
“This is the lovely, beautiful, already SPOKEN for, Peggie,” BJ replied, linking arms protectively with his wife. She laughed, and poked him playfully in the ribs.
“BJ, I’m going to assume this is Hawkeye from all you’ve told me about him?? And with that information I already know enough to watch out!”
Hawkeye dropped his jaw and glared at his friend. “Hey!! What have you been telling her?”
BJ scuffed his toe in the dirt. “Oh, nothing,” he smiled innocently.
“Oohhhhh, that’s a sorry sight if ever I saw one.”
“Ahhhh, now this is what I call a vacation,” Hawkeye sighed contentedly, pulling his fishing hat over his eyes and leaning back in BJ’s old boat, line clasped loosely in his hand.
“You’re telling me,” BJ replied, casting out his line and stretching out in a similar fashion. They heard a faint splashing, but neither one of them took much notice. Soon, the splashing grew a little louder, and they cocked up their hats in unison to raise their eyebrows at each other. They both sat up, but before they had the chance to do anything else, loud laughter surfaced from the side of their boat, and the source of that laughter tipped the boat over, sending it’s inhabitants flailing and sailing into the water.
When the surfaced, sputtering and splashing, they were confronted with two cackling women, both blonde.
“Payback, payback!!” Margaret sang out, doing a sort of dance in the water. Then she turned to a small gathering on shore. “Did you get that??” she called to a figure who was holding a video camera. She received the “A-OK”. She slapped Peg hi five, and didn’t have time to do anything else before being dunked by Hawkeye.
“Peg, what did I ever do to deserve this?” BJ asked, paddling over to his still laughing wife.
“Our honeymoon,” she replied matter-of-factly. “You, my dear sir, threw me into the pool at that resort.”
“Bringing up ancient history, huh? I guess I’m just so perfect now, there’s nothing to get revenge on, is there?”
“No,” Peg replied, shaking her head. “There’s just too much to pick one instance.” With that, she kicked off backwards, splashing her husband with the effort.
“Oh, so that’s how you want to play,” he growled, swimming slowly toward Peg.
“ Don’t you dare—hey!! That tickles!!”
“Radar!! Klinger!! Charles! What are you doing here?!” Hawkeye exclaimed, wading ashore fifteen minutes later. The three men in question pointed behind them to a large banner strung between two poles that sported: MASH 4077th. Best Care Anywhere. Reunion Party (Here we go again!) etched big, red, bold sloppy letters. Below the banner the rest of the unit stood, smiling.
“Hawkeye, how the hell have you been?” Colonel Potter cried, coming over and embracing his sopping former chief surgeon briefly. Then he stood back, and allowed a woman to step forward. Her eyes matched her husband’s with the lightning they held, not at all affected by age.
“Meet the Missus,” Potter said, wrapping an arm around Mildred, who bobbed her head in greeting. BJ, who had by now climbed out of the water along with Margaret and Peg came over to stand next to Hawkeye. He shook Mildred’s hand, and Hawkeye went a step further to kiss it.
“What an astonishingly attractive damsel!” he proclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows at the laughing Mildred. Sherman faked rage and snatched the hand back, shaking a finger at Hawkeye.
“You fiend! She’s mine! I got her fair and square!!” But he too was laughing.
Klinger came forward, holding hands with the very pregnant Soon- Lee, who looked radiant even in her state. Lips painted a ruby red, naturally thick curly lashes enhanced, raven black hair shining in the midday sun, she looked young, and happy.
Margaret reached her first, and hugged her carefully around her swollen stomach.
“Soon- Lee!! It’s wonderful to see you!”
“It is wonderful to see you too!” Soon Lee replied, accented voice lilting pleasantly as she spoke. “I have missed you all very much.” This comment was met with a group hug, parting only when Colonel Potter stepped in.
“Does anyone around here know where Radar got to?”
“Probably to get his wife,” Peg answered.
There was a unanimous jaw dropping as what she had said registered.
“His WHAT?!?”
“Wife,” Peg repeated, looking confused. “Oh, you mean you didn’t know?”
“No,” BJ responded. “Hawkeye didn’t know. I didn’t know, and I set this whole thing up!! Nobody knew… so how did YOU know?”
Peg shrugged. “I asked.”
Hawkeye smacked his forehead dramatically. “Now why didn’t we think of that?”
“Plus,” Peg continued, “I had a little help.” She motioned towards Klinger, who waved innocently.
“You knew about this, and you didn’t tell us?!?!?” BJ and Hawkeye shouted in unison.
“Uh… oops?”
The two men looked about ready to strangle the Lebonese informer. He shuffled in back of Colonel Potter, peeking out over heads. “Ahhhh… would it help if I told you about the kids?”
“KIDS!!!!!!”