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| EPISODE ONE: STAFF DEVELOPMENT |
MR LEWIS On what? MR NANCE (laughing) Well, on the chair of course. MR LEWIS But�there�s no chair in here. MR NANCE Well of course there isn�t, damn bloody animals�dirty things they are, living on moors and being used in greyhound racing�God forbid there be one in here � he�d not last long if there was, I can tell you! He grabs a shotgun from one of the cupboards and waves it about maniacally. Mr Lewis cowers with his arms in the air. Mr Nance puts the gun down, wipes his brow and puts back on his professional attitude. MR NANCE Now, if you�d like to get sat down, I�ll begin by opening you up. MR LEWIS What? MR NANCE Er, I mean, getting you to open up. Nice and wide. Mr Nance opens his mouth as wide as possible and makes a �aahh� sound. Mr Nance turns round to prepare his equipment. Mr Lewis, by now terrified, backs against the wall and slumps to the floor. MR LEWIS (frightened) S-s-so�have you been away this year? MR NANCE Been aware? Aware of what? MR LEWIS N-n-no, I mean, have you been on holiday? At all? MR NANCE If you knew the places I�ve been� He lets the sentence trail off as he picks up a wicked looking piece of dental equipment. He still has his back to Mr Lewis. MR NANCE Ah�my favourite implement. (to Mr Lewis) Do you know what it�s called? I�ve never known myself. If these tools could speak � the stories they could tell! This particular tool, my favourite, has seen more than it�s fair share of extractions, digging, peeling, ripping and bloodshed. Nance rounds suddenly on Mr Lewis, and sees him sat on the floor. MR NANCE Sit in the chair, in the chair! Your trousers will be black with dirt, man! Before Mr Lewis can protest, Mr Nance grabs a syringe full of liquid and bursts into another rant. MR NANCE (tearfully) Twenty years I�ve had this practise, I should know better by now�but, I have problems! It�s the same for any man like me � the pressure, living up to people�s expectations�thinking you can help soothe people�s pain! He clears the air from the syringe and advances on Mr Lewis. MR LEWIS Wh-what�s in that? MR NANCE Morphine � don�t worry, it�ll help calm you down. MR LEWIS (backing away) No, it�s OK�I�ve changed my mind now�it�s getting better now, the pain and that� MR NANCE It�s too late to back out now � you know too much� MR LEWIS No, please, honestly! Mr Nance adjusts his grip on the syringe so he is holding it in a stabbing position. He smiles grotesquely. MR NANCE Oh come on, just a little needle�trust me, this won�t hurt one bit. At that, Mr Lewis screams, finds the adrenaline to get up and rushes towards the window, hurling himself from it to the unforgiving pavement below. Mr Nance lowers the syringe and sighs. The door opens, and Miss Hargreaves enters, dressed in a very revealing sexy nurses� outfit. She unzips her top some more, and joins Mr Nance by the window. Cut to a shot outside the surgery, looking in through the window. MISS HARGREAVES I�m ready now, doctor! Where�s the�ah��patient�? Mr Nance turns to look at her. MR NANCE It�s OK Julia, we�re closing early today. Go get your hat and coat. Miss Hargreaves exits. Mr Nance injects himself with the morphine and keels over onto the floor. The camera pans up from the dentist�s surgery window to the window above, where a man (Mr Cornelius) looks out to the street below. He raises his eyebrows, then goes and sits back down at a desk. In the corner of the room, three people wait on chairs. Another door is positioned behind Mr Cornelius� desk. He writes for a moment, then stops and thinks. There is a knock at the door. |
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