 |
| POEMS |
| This is a collection of poems written by Peter and various people in his office where he worked over the summer of 2001 - beware the occasional swear word...Oh yeah, IT2Business was the name of the company I worked at in case you were wondering, and generally they deal in selling web domain names (I think), although when I was there they were involved in signing people up to the Individual Learning Account scheme of computer training. MY WORK MATES BY PETE WILLIAMSON Sir Adam of Reece arrives for work upon his mighty steed His hair awry and leathered up he feels the need for speed Pete is dancing to a tune that only he can hear He was out last night till very late no buns today, I fear Connor�s away to the vets with anal ghonnorhea One of his cats shagged his arse and now it�s disappeared Kev�s the boy with tattoos and hair that make him look the business He really ought to have a girl called Tracy for a missus Whereas me, I�m pissed again and going off the deep end So I won�t write any other stuff in case it might offend GOOD LEADS BY PETE WILLIAMSON An architect is your best bet to see you on your way And there�s nothing finer than a kitchen designer To really make your day But please don�t phone the MD at home For hassle it�s just not worth �Cos he�s too busy and will just get pissy when asked for his date of birth GETTING OLD BY PETE WILLIAMSON Jesus Christ I�m getting old my pubic hair is turning grey I can�t cut the mustard like I used to they say it�s downhill all the way Please don�t put me by the seaside or shout as though my ears don�t work Never let me pee my trousers or dribble down my shirt Thanks SETTING SAIL UPON MY DESK BY PETE WILLIAMSON When I set sail upon my desk awash with pens and clips I dream of going far away on tall and elegant ships But bound and gagged here I sit my chair becomes my anchor I don�t get paid and work is shit and the boss is a fucking wanker AN ODE TO IT2BUSINESS BY PETE MUSCUTT The IT2 team is like a sunbeam it shines on merry and bright They pick up the leads and life is a dream even if the weather is shite For inspiration we look to our boss he sets a divine example But woe betide those who don�t give a toss it�s their bone idle arse he�ll dismantle When the chips are down and morale is low we desperately seek motivation To fatten our wallets through rain, sleet and snow on our quest for world domination There�s a theory around, on it you�d bet a pound That there�s something amiss with our water Because we�re all like zombies stuck in a trance And our feet don�t touch ground like they ought to Amassed on the floor in piles miles high stand masses of stacked Yellow Pages It causes a sigh, regularly a cry because looking through them takes bloody ages JUST A TYPICAL DAY BY PETE WILLIAMSON The system has gone down the headless chickens run The ILA�s are fucked and no more work is done Adam�s in a flap again and Ricky�s on the edge Olga�s gone to Office World and Greg�s jumped off the ledge The team have gone on down time the phones are not the hub Adam being a top notch boss should take us down the pub Staff room, staff room the place where we all sit Cheryl�s mouth and Adam�s seat and Connor � full of shit Pete: he being on the throne and Kate all red and tense All the new guys coming in thinking �does this really make sense?� The fag smoke is like a London smog the chests they rattle and hum The only relief is on the bog but your arse gets rather numb SONNET FOR A KETTLE BY PETE MUSCUTT Oh kettle how we love you save our lives each day By boiling water for our daily brew to make caf� au lait We fill you up and switch you on to pour water in our mugs To add the tea and stir it up we leave it up to Con When asked if we want coffee it�s not a big debate Adam wants tea no sugar because the sweetness he does hate So to our faithful Carlton kettle we lend this loving rhyme Oh look work colleagues at the clock for a coffee break it�s time! |
|
 |