| 8/30/00 I�ll map out my own constellations, I think you could look at my stars. I�ll put it on paper, So you too will see, How everything appears to me. Many times I have met, With people who love To count stars and find pictures, In that place up above. But everytime, that they tell me the names, I sink when I realize that they�re always the same. Taurus, Orion, even Aries and Lyra, Everyone holds a different one dear. But they all see it as, The sky they were taught� Once they knew of it, The had little thought Of the fact that these pictures Were drawn by a hand. Somebody who found them And could now understand, What each little piece of the sky meant In their head, But now no one sees it, It�s suddenly dead. I still can see, What the stars in the night, Mean to my body, my mind, and I delight, In the fact that I can, lay back and withdraw, Pictures and stories, that I never saw In books at libraries, or in posters at stores. The pictures I make seem to mean so much more, Sense to my body, as I lay on the ground, With my constellations all scattered around. When I�m near you, I think that you feel, Why my constellations, To me are so real. 8/9/00 Why can�t things go my way? Why do I suffer, every day? I think about my life, Lost in the folds of soft fabrics, Trapped in a room I don�t need. I�m everything I hate. Everything I tried not to be. People show me beautiful things, That were just given to them. All I have is things taken, From me, That I don�t have yet. 7/3/00 mindless chatter swims over my head responsibility strike me dead with reason using an excuse that lies resting uneasily without purpose awake and cold with fatigue no concentration nothing touches me asleep tired and riled angry and ready to end the experience about to cause a split just above my eyes |
| 7/7/00 Time is clouding by, It might as well be cigarettes, Asking myself why, Is getting a little too common. How can I break free, From my body, so confining? Burn a hole, in the veil. Light a fire, forget details. Don�t pick the flowers here, We plant them only twice a year. This is my garden, It controls me and my life. I can�t believe that you are such a lie. Time is floating by, It might as well be liquid. Evaporating in the sun. A puddle on the pavement, Freed into the sky. The water and the air are one. Stop asking me questions When the answers are clear. Stop giving me your reasons I see why you�re really here. 8/20/99 Floating outside, Crying Inside. I�ve heard your side Now hear mine. You say I�m selfish, I say, I�m wise. You think I�m silly I think I�m just kind. You said you�d tell me, How you feel, You can�t bait me Or make my body reel. You don�t understand, The way that it is. I can�t reprimand you For being a kid. You should have known, When I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH. That the truth is a lie, When it�s about you. Don�t give me time, I�ve so had enough, Don�t pull in the line, Just cause it�s been rough. You said I�d be sorry. But I disagree, I�ve found a soulmate, And besides, Now I�m free. Don�t you call me, And cry on the phone, I borrowed pity, Then paid back the loan. You�re so far, From reality. I�m so sick of, You and me. You told me, that you�d never let go, You showed me, Nothing I didn�t already know. |