| 2/20/01 Tricked by smiles, Too many times. Believing there's truth, That appears from time to time. I played at the park, With his arms around my waist. I couldn't bring myself To say no to his face. She knew better, Than to be his friend. She recognized, That it was all pretend. He gave me a cracker, He gave me some rhymes. He seemed to smoke cigarettes, Two at a time. 2/11/01 He's gone forever. No bringing him back. He said he'd run, But won't even walk. H is not what he seems. He lied to me, But I believed him. Chooses someone else's eyes, Jumping up, two miles high. Rolling, rolling rocks can't hurt me. I'll pause on the steps of the library. He never loved anyone, Other than himself. He never felt guilty, For refusing help. He flexed his muscles... Arms around my neck. He choked me with a grin. I'm not really surprised. I thought I loved him, Because I tripped on those eyes. I saw a woman in the leaves, He called it a dragon, of the trees. Sitting on the edge of a cliff, Straight down there are rocks and, Choppy water... And he didn't push me, (Did I just fall?) He flexed his muscles... Arms around my neck. He choked me with a grin. I'm not really surprised. I thought I loved him, Because I tripped on those eyes. I stumbled on those lines, I thought he was honest. It never crossed my mind, That he wanted to possess Me. Or that he was only, Trying to be in control... Trying to squeeze something so big, Into such a tiny hole. I can't believe that I Tripped on those eyes, Stumbled on his tears, Then found all these lies. 4/10/01 Nineteen years here, And where Is the girl that I've become? Who is the person that I am? Breathing...slowly...deeply...I'm here So I am. Where is the girl who I was? Where did she go? I guess I'll never know. But I'm here... Starched, unwrinkled, Rigidly teetering in the wind. If I could change something, I wouldn't know where to begin. I wish it would rain. Release me now. It's the same old story every time. Nineteen years here And where am I? |
| 4/4/01 Even though buried, In acidic pine needles, Little plants still manage, To poke out of the earth. Even though they don't Understand me, I have a few friends, For what it's worth. I'm not a private person, But I still have my secrets. As long as no one else knows, Maybe I can forget, How it feels To be me. This isn't real One day I'll be free. The trees are overwhelming But the little plants are still there. To see them Sometimes you have to get on your knees. I've been living life, In the shadow of these trees. Somewhere on the soft ground, With the twigs and leaves, Helpless, but content, With the moments' current dream. Right now I'm buried, But the time will someday come, When I'll be higher than the forest, Gloating in the sun. 5/15/01 He fell into a puddle and drowned. Glow-in-the-dark bracelet I've been around The block. A few times I suppose. I've been better, I've been worse, I've been here...so why Do I feel so plastic? So brakable...so unknown. Is that what I've been reaching for? He passed a joint, Then passed away. He smiled in the strangest way... "Just playing" drinking in the car. Here I am Here I fucking am. Again, again, again I'm here again. No, I'm not angry. I'm not impressed either. You're not so pretty any more I've heard them all call you a whore. And you are A whore in the worst sense... Sharing your entire mind With anyone who has the time, To listen. I do such things occaisionally. But there are many things That I keep just for me. I'm broken, More than broken. Shattered I guess. And there's nobody here To clean up the mess. Messy as ever, I thought you'd agree... I vaguely recall, The words you gave to me. Given not taken, Not stolen or bought The price of my cares, Is to high to make sense. Kiss away your metaphors I'll kick you down again. You are an ASSHOLE. |